Friday, March 26, 2010

Rude + Jerk = UNFOLLOW <- Yeah, that's my kinda math.

I was searching for math videos online and found a plethora of different sites. See the boy child learns best if he can see something demonstrated and follow along. And since I'm super un-math-tastic, I felt videos might be best. He loves searching on The YouTube.... which is great. Except when you think he's looking at lego videos and it turns out some sicko has uploaded lego porn... but I digress.

I found a great looking site and started watching his videos... and saw one that was a parody of Sarah Palin teaching math.

Now, let's get a few things straight.... I'm Canadian and I really don't care if you like Sarah Palin or not. It doesn't affect me.

What does bother me is when someone purporting to teach math posts a video that shows him pretending to be a stupid person who can't do math.

Really, dude?

I am a writer. I've taught writing to kids. I would not even think of being so disrespectful as to create a video that parodies ANYONE who couldn't spell, read or write.

After sending the guy feedback, he responded to say that I shouldn't judge him on that video. Um, when you are selling a product online... a video product... and you put up a video that is rude and disrespectful, you're darn right that I'm going to judge.

He then responded to say how stupid Sarah Palin was and oh why don't I just go and quote him, "She does not deserve your defense of her. She creates fear, uses scare tactics and lies to the American People. Oh, but *I* am the bad guy in your eyes. You missed the whole point of the video. Sheesh..."



Apparently all the guy knows to do is try make others feel stupid so that he can feel smart. Sorry dude, my kid won't be watching your videos. He needs positive encouragement, a friendly, smiling face that says "it's ok if you don't know the answer, buddy" and NOT what this math dude has to offer. 


And no, I won't be giving him any links. 


UNFOLLLOW!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

When will it clear...

The last few weeks have been hard. Just when I thought I’d overcome one problem or filled my quota of issues, another monster would rear its head. In a way, I began to feel like the world was collapsing upon me. Nothing was as it should be. I began to identify with Natalie Grant’s song, Our Hope Endures.

Sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our hope is unchanged

And in that song (see video below) I realized that there was nothing to fear. Issues in parenting, school, former relationships, jobs, life changing moments…. all that is fleeting but the one person I could go to now and forever was the same as he’d always been. (Um, that would be God.)

See, I have this control issue. I must be in control, I must be (dum dah dah dum) Master of My Own Destiny… (as opposed to, you know, master of my own domain). Not surprisingly my son is very similar and in seeing his struggle I’ve seen my own. Seeing him work to overcome I see what I can do. Part of having a controlling personality is being certain that you can handle anything that comes your way just because you are good enough. You can rock this. You got it all in hand, yo.

In reality, you just rely on setting all your plates a spinning and using your super awesome balance to keep everything going. You rely on yourself and your situation. Because you are good enough, you are prepared enough and darn it.. people like me. Wait, wrong speech.



It has seemed that every aspect of my life was under attack by some force or another and it was almost like all my usual crutches were being taken away. All my houses built on shifting sand were being destroyed. All my cool spinning plates were crashing around me (nevermind the poor sod I was trying to balance on my head.... I think I'm taking this metaphor a bit far, ya think?).

Oh I suck at being PTA President, huh? Well at least I’m a good employee. Oh. Crap…
Well, I suck at being an employee, huh? Well at least I’m a good wife. Oh. Crap…
I suck at being a wife, huh? Well at least I’m a good mom. Oh. Crap….
And on and on…

It took me a while to realize it, but that’s kind of how God works in us sometimes. He needs to remove the crutches from those of us most stubborn so we are forced by circumstance to rely on him. I imagine him sitting up there saying, “now Heather, I’ve told you to rely on me and you’ve said you are… so why do you start to act so wobbly when I remove these crutches? If you aren’t relying on them, you shouldn’t require them.”  Word to yer mama, God.

So I really hope I’ve gotten it. I hope that I’ve figured it out…. because I can only take my earth being shaken every other year or so.


\

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Letter re; Cascade Aerospace or "You're Not Safe in the Sky".

I am writing to inform you of a significant, unresolved situation regarding what could be the largest mass poisoning of personnel in a federally regulated industry in Canadian history, which has and will impact thousands of individual Canadians for generations.

This case involves the Air transport industry. As you are aware this federally regulated industry falls under the jurisdiction of Transport Canada and HRSDC. The company involved is currently a contractor with the Department of National Defense. Workplace wage replacement benefits are in this case provided by a Workers Compensation Board which falls under provincial jurisdiction.

A massive chemical poisoning incident occurred in March 2002 which left five employees permanently disabled. Following outlined procedures injured and non injured workers submitted written and verbal complaints to the local HRSDC/Labour Canada office. For reasons yet to be determined the representative from the office who was assigned to investigate these complaints, missed the opportunity to initiate appropriate enforcement action as outlined under Part II of the Federal Labour Code.

Poisonous chemical exposure incidents continued at this employer’s facility on a regular basis until the fall of 2009. When after examining the situation a second official representing HRSDC/Labour Canada issued a Direction pursuant to Part II of the Federal Labour Code. The company, a major Canadian Defense Ministry Contractor is by all indications following the issued Direction.

However it must be considered that during this time frame the number of employees who received poisonous chemical exposures and became disabled increased from five in 2002 to approximately seventy. This approximate number does not include employee’s children born with birth defects. Or the small but significant number of employees diagnosed with various forms of cancer. Well over eleven hundred employees of this company received well documented poisonous chemical overexposures for over seven years without intervention by the regulatory body responsible for oversight.

Formally submitted complaints with applicable reference material alleging multiple serious contraventions of Part II of the Code, naming the company as well as the company’s insurer and representative WorkSafe BC have been made since 2002.

The lack of response from HRSDC/Labour Canada has been a major contributing factor in this issue evolving into the crisis it is today. It should be considered that this lack of response has caused these employees to be denied the fundamental right to what is known in the industry as a Bill C-45 Hearing, or more appropriately known as Section 217.1 of the Criminal Code. In taking seven and a half years to initiate a Direction since first receiving complaints that a “danger existed” at this workplace. HRSDC has allowed the statute of limitations to expire on several important issues. The ability to prosecute the company as well as its insurance provider has been severely compromised.

It should be noted that this lack of an issuance of a Direction when first notified a “danger existed” at this workplace, allowed the companies’ representative and insurer WorkSafe BC to legally circumvent its responsibilities as wage replacement benefit provider by stating; “a lack of causation existed” between the workplace and the employee’s disabling health & medical conditions.

The exact number of employees who have become disabled due to these poisonous chemical exposures is not accurately recorded, however is estimated to be approximately seventy. After viewing the eight yearlong battle for wage replacement benefits by several employees. Current employees of this company are simply not applying for wage replacement benefits as they are not financially, mentally or emotionally fit to enter into combat with the company’s representative and insurer WorkSafe BC, an organization well known for human rights violations. As the outcome of these claims is predetermined, employees in this federally regulated workplace are aware they will be denied disability benefits regardless of all efforts. The sheer volume of previously denied claims has not gone without notice and is in itself generating considerable public interest.

The right of employees to receive wage replacement benefits was also blocked by HRSDC failing to prosecute the company’s representative, WorkSafe BC for acts of non-disclosure under Part II of the Code, which are criminal offences. Again no employee disabled at this company by poisonous chemical exposures has received wage replacement benefits.

The following quote was taken from a January 2009 CBC News report on the situation; “After a tour with company safety representatives, Melinda Lum of HRDC concluded "there are no violations in the regulation or code." indicating the level of competence as well as performance of Due Diligence applied in this matter by HRSDC.

Enquiries and complaints regarding this HRSDC employee to her supervisor were dismissed with a standard “you need to work this out with her” response. Indicating a clear lack of quality control or checks and balances to prevent a single individual’s failure in job performance to initiate a crisis as it has in this case. It has not gone unnoticed that the only individual to receive the benefit of protection by Part II of the Code is this single HRSDC employee. The appearance that this HRSDC employee is also shielded from Section 221 of the Criminal Code has now become a matter of public interest.

Enquiries identifying criminal activity allegations of WorkSafe BC, supplied with reference material to subsequent BC Provincial Labour Minister’s offices since 2002. Have consistently resulted in the following cookie cutter, not my department reply: “I am advised that the company in question, Cascade Aerospace, falls under federal jurisdiction for occupational health and safety issues”

In October 2009 then Federal Minister of Labour, R Hon Rona Ambrose responded to a letter from R Hon Maria Minna, Opposition Labour Critic inquiring as to the status of the situation. Her response in writing was that there is an ongoing investigation and as such she could not comment. However, six months into this alleged investigation, no representative from HRSDC/Labour Board has contacted any individual or organization involved in this crisis. Which when examining everything as a whole, unfortunately calls into question the integrity of not only the Ministry but the Minister as well.

Given the overall size, impact, to serve public interest as well as the public interest generated, and the allegations which indicate HRSDC is a major contributing factor in this crisis. The mere perception of HRSDC investigating itself in this situation gives the appearance of being unethical.

In response to a request by Opposition Ethics Critic, R Hon Marlene Jennings under The Access to information Act for information related to this crisis. HRSDC applied a time limit extension of up to 90 days in accordance with paragraph 9(1) (a) of the Act which states:

9. (1) The head of a government institution may extend the time limit set out in section 7 or subsection 8(1) in respect of a request under this Act for a reasonable period of time, having regard to the circumstances, if

(a) the request is for a large number of records or necessitates a search through a large number of records and meeting the original time limit would unreasonably interfere with the operations of the government institution,

The utilization of this reference again highlights the perception of an unethical self-investigation of HRSDC’s role in this crisis. Also the utilization of this reference infers one should question the conduct of HRSDC personnel as well as the Minister involved as it raises two important points:

A)    If the amount of records pertaining to this company and this situation are in substantial of size as to require up to 120 days to compile, is not an explanation of why it took an HRSDC representative seven and a half years to issue a Direction is past due?

Or:

B)    As it is HRSDC/Labour Canada’s mandate is to be responsible for Part II of the Canada Labour Code and Canada Occupational Health and Safety Regulations. And with the current investigation being conducted in name only: How is it possible that poisonous chemical overexposures of over one thousand employees of a single company could unreasonably interfere with the operations of this government institution when its mandate is to protect these same employees?

As the company which is the center of this investigation has received DND contracts valued in excess of one half billion dollars of taxpayer money, the information formally requested under The Act, is of significant public interest.

Current and newly appointed Minister of Labour R Hon Lisa Raitt or personnel from her office have as of yet to respond to multiple written and verbal enquiries.

This crisis has not gone unnoticed by the company. After receiving multimillion dollar loans and contracts from both the British Columbia and the Government of Canada: Cascade Aerospace the company at the center of this crisis has recently divested itself of its facility in British Columbia Canada. Restructured its corporate entity and distanced itself from its former parent company Conair Group.

While laying off hundreds of employees in Canada the company has invested heavily in new facilities in Washington State USA. And also has moved specialty tooling along with aircraft parts out of Canada to this new facility. The company is essentially a shell of what it was when this crisis began. Other than ten year old office furniture the company has little to no assets in Canada.

This crisis reinforces criticism from the US Department of Defense of flaws in the Canadian DND contractor procurement processes. As the DND has awarded this company which is a leader in a consortium, two additional multimillion dollar contracts on top of the existing 450 million dollar maintenance contract after this crisis became public knowledge.

This has now become a national unity issue as jobs were lost in the provinces of Alberta and Quebec by DND’s decision to grant these contracts to a company with a known and abysmal safety record, and as documented questionable ethics.


The treatment of these disabled employees by the company, the Province of British Columbia and Canadian Governments; has contravened even the lowest of constitutional and human rights standards in Canada. As the company is in an exporter of goods and services and has not been charged under the applicable regulations. It therefore has received an unfair advantage by the Provence of British Columbia and the Canadian Government over its competitors in foreign countries which has resulted in job losses, clearly indicates the spirit of Canada’s commitment to NAFTA, The World and other free trade agreements.

This crisis combined with Transport Canada’s efforts to implement aspects of an SMS program without parliamentary approval. Demonstrates an unacceptable reliance on the complacency of traveling Canadians to assume they are safe on a Canadian registered aircraft when this is no longer true.
Sincerely,


Heather Cook

Monday, March 15, 2010

For Mickey, a good dog.

This is a poem I wrote for a friend's dog ... or for my friend. We were all involved in stock dog trials at the time and she had this dog that spent his life just being her dog... while all the other dogs were doing "important" things like working sheep or cattle and competing for prizes and money. They had to put Mickey down this year and I needed to find this poem for her.

Porch Hound

In the dog world there are many breeds
Well known and world renowned
But none know their calling in life the best
As a true, purebred porch hound.

Some may scoff at his questionable lineage
His only papers she housebroke him on
And he does things like sit and roll over
And sings to his favourite songs.

He’s caused the odd wreck in the sheep pen
Puttin’ a paw in just to help out
If there’s two commands he listens to
It’s “git yer butt home” and “git out”.

But he knows who home belongs to
For all others he sounds the alarm
He reads strangers like an open book
Known’ the good from those who mean harm.

He’s kept her feet warm in the winter
And on long nights when she couldn’t sleep
He knows her better than she does
And knows secrets he’ll always keep.

Through the winding road of life he’s stayed
Glued right to her side
He’s bounced and played when she’s laughed
And nudged her hand when she’s cried.

Damn near human he gets quite incensed
If kennelled up at all
How can he do his lifelong job
Surrounded by four walls?

I’m sure the average working stock dog
Feels he couldn’t walk the ground they tread
But when it’s 40 below in their kennels
He’s cureld up at the foot of her bed.

H.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Three Things

Getting a puppy last week seemed like such a great idea. And he is still the sweetest puppy even if he's a bit of a... ahem... humper. He was only neutered last week so it will be another few weeks before all the hormones are gone. Until then... woe unto the child who finds herself crawling on the floor playing with a toy.

And heaven help me but the first time it happened I was laughing so hard that I could hardly tell him to stop. After the tenth or eleventh time... it's getting a bit much.

Then last weekend our hot water heater broke. And it's still broken. That's five days without hot water. Thank goodness mom lives close by so we can head over to her house for showers and baths in the evening. I still miss my morning shower though...

And then, the topper of it all.... I found out I'm pregnant.

This was so not planned. This was a big OOPSIE. I had just recently made peace with the fact that my husband did not want any more children. My job was going really well and I felt like I was making career gains there. A child was not in the plan.

But now it is. And hubby is not thrilled. (Yeah, I know he was there for the oopsie!)

When I told my bosses, I totally broke down. If all the men in my life are upset with me, this is going to be a loooong pregnancy.

I know my husband will come around. I know he's upset and disappointed. He has retirement plans. He's 42 this year and will be 60 at this kid's graduation and that upsets him. I get that.

But I'm still happy. :)

Even with the broken water heater.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Finn

We've welcomed a new family member: Finn.

He's from the Humane Society of Calgary and he's a super sweetheart. At 4 months old he's already a big boy - and he's got big paws as well so I'm sure he's going to be a big boy! We got him this massive crate for him to sleep in... I hope he grown into it!

 
The cats frighten him more than anything. He went straight up to the big cat (Zorro) and if he could speak English he'd have been saying "a friend! a friend! you're my friend, right?"
Zorro batted him across the nose four times before he could back away and has been stalking him ever since. The poor dog can't go into a room without both cats following and sitting in the door way, blocking his escape! 


This is Ziggy, the younger one, starting to feel brave. He even reaches out a paw and taps Finn on the paw... but Finn does not move. He knows. 

He's a total sweetheart.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Why Does Tabby Have to Die?

This is the question my daughter asked me tonight.

Luckily, I was prepared. For the second time in about a year, we prepared to put one of the old dogs down.

Last year it was Madison, a border collie cross who'd lived a great life. Some of it with me as I'd rescued her when I was 16 years old. She was about to be shot because she couldn't chase sheep properly, but I brought her home. Eventually I gave her to my mom - it was kind of a forced adoption, I left the country to work in Europe and couldn't bring her with me. She lived with mom since then. She was 16 when we put her down.

Tabby was my little baby. A puppy that I rescued from an idiot who didn't know how to take care of his dogs. I gave him a bag of dog food for her. I used to keep her in my jacket pocket as I drove. She'd stick her nose out the top of my jacket and breathe her little puppy breath on me.

I tried to teach her to speak, but she would not. I think she felt it was rude to bark inside.

But she was a fierce protector. Woe unto you if you stuck your nose or hand into our yard and didn't heed her warning barks. She was also a tough dog. She once got lost in the city and spent 3 weeks out in the cold with temperatures hovering at -40C (-40F). We finally found her on a golf course and mom's husband had to track her across the snow... she was so fearful she didn't recognize him at first, but eventually she saw through her fear and came home to us. Skin and bones.

When we put Madison down last year, Tabby really started liking the kids. She was never overly fond of them but suddenly her tail would wag when she'd see them.

Even tonight as we went to say good-bye, she flopped her tail at them weakly, something she hadn't done for a week.


I prepared the kids. My son is 8 and my daughter is 3 and I can't stomach lying to them about what happens with dogs when they are too old.

"Tonight we're going to gramma's because Tabby is getting put down," I said. The kids froze in their seats. My son said "awww" but he knew why. He remembered Madison. My daughter asked what "put down" meant.

"Well, Tabby has lots of owies inside of her and she can't tell us where it hurts and we've tried to fix it and we can't. So we have to help her be free of pain by helping her die."

I let that sink in as the kids fell silent.

"Why does Tabby have to die?" My daughter didn't understand just yet. My son started to explain how dogs can't tell us where it hurts and we have to be responsible pet owners. Exactly what I told him last year and it choked me up so much to hear him explain it to his sister.

"It's a really hard decision to make, but we know it's the right one because she's in pain now and the only way to help her be free is to help her die. But we'll see her again, she'll go to heaven where she'll be free of all pain and she'll be really, really happy."

Lord, I don't know if dogs go to heaven, but it's all I had.

My daughter skipped into gramma's house and said "Tabby has owies inside her and she's going to die". Matter of fact. We went into the room where Tabby lay on her doggie bed. She looked horrible, like I've never seen her before.

Dehydrated because she had stopped drinking last night. Breathing funny. It was the right time.

My son kept it together. He understood what it meant. It was heartbreaking to see her tail flap as the kids came in, she hardly raised her head, but she saw them through her grey-blue, 14 year old eyes.

As we sat there with her she started to pant and mom decided that instead of waiting for the morning they would take her tonight. After we left they took her. "She went as peacefully as she lived," mom said on Facebook. I chuckled to myself because I thought of her biting that lady on the nose when she stuck her head in our yard. Not funny to laugh at but, dude, the dog was going bats and not in a good way and this silly lady reached half her body inside.

Tabby was a good one, she was a happy dog who had a good life.

What is making me extra sad tonight is that my kids don't have that canine influence in their lives. Sure we have the cats for a little fuzzy company... but dogs were always the best childhood companions in my life. *I* miss having a dog. We haven't had one for a while since we were renters... but now that we own our home it would be perfectly ok to get a dog.

We'll wait. The perfect one will come into our lives.

Until then, I'll keep staring at the hole that Madison and Tabby have left in our lives.

Monday, February 15, 2010

This Kevin Smith Thing Has Me Thinking

.. if I were to go get another job/career/life, I think that the best one would be a fitness trainer or a health coach... I mean, have you seen the size of us these days? If it's not Kevin Smith getting kicked off a plane for being too fat it's the incredible marketing power of The Biggest Loser
and our fascination with the size of Oprah.

We all know that society is getting older, so any industry catering to the elderly (housing, medical products, etc..) is sure to do well for the next few decades. But I don't see us all getting collectively skinnier any time soon.

The first step, of course, would for me to get my butt in shape first before telling anyone else how to do it. Which of course means my boss has nothing to worry about.

But exactly why should a company make seats that are larger to accommodate travellers? They make an average size seat (which fits my size 14 butt) to fit most people, but since we are all getting fatter (if the average weight of our kids is anything to indicate that) then when does it stop?

It's not like we have a RIGHT to air travel. If we really need to get there we have options.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Pillow Talk

Just watching a House episode that begins with Cuddy (Dean of Medicine: the head woman in charge, single mom and type A craZy) waking up early to exercise, her child wakes up with a fever and she rushes to get ready, even shower with her toddler.

Ahh, that sounds like my life!

Every night, between midnight and 2 am, our daughter slinks silently into our bed. I used to wake up and put her back in her bed but she learned to be silent like a little chubby ninja. Sometimes my son has a nightmare and despite the fact that he's 8 years old, will still come into our bed... he chooses to bring his own blanket and cuddle up near the foot of our bed... in the 1/6th of our bed that isn't taken up with a body.

And still I don't wake up when the come into bed. I do wake up when it's about 5 am and I KNOW that if I were to try put the kids back in bed they'd decide to punt and just stay up... Mother Nature is now trying to PWN! me by making the sun come up earlier so the darn kids can tell that it's close to morning time. So while I don't wake up when they come in, I do end up tossing and turning for the last few hours of sleep.

I'm not really complaining, I'm super lazy about one thing in my life: sleep. I could sleep and sleep and sleep because it's the only place that I am completely without pressure. The only place I can be alone with just me and my thoughts.

There are times I get to travel for work - writing conferences, sales meetings, etc... and the one thing I always enjoy is the hotel bed. I LOVE sleeping by myself in a big bed with the blinds closed and the heat turned up as high as I want it. I go to bed early, I don't set an alarm.

I'm looking very forward to my upcoming work trip in March. Just two nights in March. To catch up on three weeks of sleep.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Is "BUSY" your biggest complaint?

I make no bones about being a busy mom. I've often cataloged the reasons I'm busy....
  • Full time sales manager
  • Author of two books (Green Guide for Horse Owners/Riders & Rookie Reiner)
  • Mom of two
  • Wife of one
  • Ex-wife of another! :)
  • PTA President
  • Volunteer at Church
  • Writing Group Presi-secri-treasurer.
  • Avid reader and writer, karate and dance mom.
But let me be clear.... I'm not complaining.

I used to complain. "I'm soooo busy, I'm tooo busy" used to be my mantra. It used to just roll off my tongue the minute I became stressed. But then I had to look at exactly what I was doing with my time. I had taken on too much. I was volunteering on four different boards (community association, local gov't official's, writing group and PTA) while trying to write every night and improve myself at my day job by taking on more responsibility and reading work-related books wherever I went.

Then last summer my father in law passed away. I spent a couple of weeks with family and realized that there was a lot in my life that I could let go. And I admitted that the world would continue spinning if I dropped some balls, I also discovered that I'd have more time for things that were actually important - family!

I realized that I was overcommitted and it was not making me happy. I was too tired, had too much on my plate and it was making me do one thing that is sure to sink a marriage and a family.

I was trying to raise my expectations for everyone else's behaviour to match my own.

So when my husband was playing his video games and enjoying himself, I was all "why can't you see all the things that need to be done! why can't you do seven things at once and help me out!"  When someone wanted to sleep in, I was irritated that I couldn't. When I had too many appointments in a day, I was irritated when others weren't offering to help.

I mean, weren't we all in this together?

No. We weren't. I had forgotten to check with my family and see if they were happy with my schedule. I had been thinking only of myself and my self-satisfaction when I put on that supermom cape each day.

So what's changed?

I'm still busy. But I'm not too busy. I've found a pretty good balance between bored and too busy. I certainly haven't found 30 hours of leisure time like some people would have you believe.I realized that my default was to say "I'm busy" when what I really meant was "I'm not happy you're not helping me out of this quicksand". I was the only one who had control over how much I took on. And when it came down to it, I knew that I had to be happy with just being a mom and a wife before I could add anything to my load.

So I hung up the supermom cape and gave myself permission to be happy. To be happy without needing to be busy.... and I found that I could then ENJOY not just my family, but also ENJOY being busy! It was no longer stressful because I was choosing to add things of value into my day.

Here's a typical day:

5:45 alarm goes off
6:30 crawl out of bed and get into the shower, daughter usually comes with me
cook breakfast, make lunches, get ready for work, drop daughter off at day care
7:30-8:00 get to work, eat lunch at my desk, try be a good boss, love my job (I do, it's weird!)
4:30-5:00 go get daughter from daycare, go home, start supper.
5:30 eat supper
6:15-7pm take son to karate, read a work book or report, finish up some writing.
7:30 bath time for short people, homework, book reading to the kids
8-9pm tell the kids to get their butts back into bed
9:30 sit down for "leisure time" which usually consists of blogging (work!) or research (work!) or writing (work!), while watching whatever I've recorded.
12 (midnight) head to bed.

Keep in mind that my husband works crazy and constantly changing shifts, so sometimes he's dropping the kids off, sometimes he's picking them up, sometimes he's sleeping when I get home from work and we try be really quiet until about 6 pm when he gets up! Also, I schedule most of my writing on the weekend or in the evenings, just like I always have and I've given myself the OK to not write every single day. I'll still be a writer just like a cyclist will still be a cyclist if he doesn't ride his bike EVERY day.

And I remind myself that "busy" is just a state of existance, it's not a complaint and it's not a badge of honor. It's just busy.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Karate Drama

Yesterday was M's first Karate tournament. I was nervous for him, but he had been showing such confidence in class, volunteering to do his kata in front of his classmates. I'd been encouraging him about being confident, doing his best, yelling loudly... but I'd forgotten to prepare him for actual competition. Where not everyone wins.

He did a great job in his kata and then we had sparring. For Christmas he'd gotten sparring gear but he didn't want to bring it with him, I didn't remember that it was required (argh!!) so I didn't bring it along. We realized it was required but he could borrow some - but it was huge and this affected his sparring. He didn't place.

But he did get a 3rd in his kata.

However. Medals were awarded for katas and TROPHIES were awarded for sparring.

Oh the drama. Oh the pouting. His dad and I tried to encourage him and explain that he'd gotten a THIRD and he'd done really well. It was frustrating and hard to not say STOP POUTING!! DON'T BE A SORE LOSER! But I didn't, because I can remember how devestated I used to feel when I hadn't done as well as I wanted to. Before I realized that competition is only ever between you and yourself.


I enlisted the assistance of his karate teacher. She had a good long talk with him... before she told him she was going to take away his medal... for pouting.

He wanted to go home shortly after that conversation. But someone had to tell him. Someone had to snap him out of it.

When he got home, he phoned a friend and told him about his third place. Proudly.

He still wants to go to tournaments, still wants to compete and practice. I think it was especially tough that his best buddy in the class beat him in both kata and sparring. His best buddy who lives with a black belt... who gives him some extra training. How can we compete against that?

So we focus on the personal best, focus on fixing mistakes like forgetting his sparring gear and not getting a full night's sleep. Focus on having FUN.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Coal Tar, Anyone?

I was never a stellar cook. This is a fact, despite working AS A COOK at a local diner. It was pretty easy to do it there because the customers were all redneck, roughneck, 'dead truck drivers' and truckers. Was it warm? Check. Did it give me the runs? Nope. Allll good.

And I had a storehouse of ingredients so if i screwed up I didn't have to cry over $20 of wasted groceries. Plus I had a few tired and trues that I could fall back on: spaghetti, sloppy joes, fancy mac and cheese.

But now that I have a family, I'm finding that I kind of like to cook and make them yummy things to eat. The kids are not always appreciative of my experiments (jambalaya FAIL) and I still have some fall backs: Jambalaya.... with a side of mac and cheese!

Now that my son has these "attention issues". I ... what? Shiny object.... where was I?

Now that I'm searching for ways to help my son focus better in school, his diet has come under scrutiny. I think I've done a pretty good job. I make them healthy breakfasts of bacon or sausage with eggs or maybe crepes. I don't use white sugar (I use splenda or a natural sweetener), I make their cookies instead of buying them.... I've even been known to make a yummy bread from scratch. The worst thing my husband could find was the store-bought granola bars. I just haven't figured out how to make homemade ones yet.

But tonight I decided to investigate food colouring. Those dyes that have been rumoured to be horrible and the source of all evil.

Yeah. I think they are right.

COAL TAR DYE, anyone?

I am feeding my children petroleum products? Come again?

Here's a WebMD article that says:

Can food dye cause hyperactivity?

A recent study by the United Kingdom’s Food Standards Agency in 2007 showed that the consumption of foods containing dyes could increase hyperactive behavior in children. In the study of 3- 8- and 9-year-olds, children were given three different types of beverages to drink. Then their behavior was evaluated by teachers and parents.
One of the drink mixtures contained artificial food colorings, including:
  • sunset yellow (E110)
  • carmoisine (E122)
  • tartrazine (E102)
  • ponceau 4R (E124)
It also contained the preservative sodium benzoate. The second drink mixture included:
  • quinoline yellow (E104)
  • allura red (E129)
  • sunset yellow
  • carmoisine
It also had sodium benzoate. The third drink mixture was a placebo and contained no additives.
The researchers found that hyperactive behavior by the 8- and 9-year-olds increased with both the mixtures containing artificial coloring additives. The hyperactive behavior of 3-year-olds increased with the first beverage but not necessarily with the second. They concluded that the results show an adverse effect on behavior after consumption of the food dyes.

Now my son does not have hyperactivity issues, he has attention issues. Does anyone think that these might be related? I do ... except I don't know the reasons behind it yet, but I imagine if it increases hyperactivity in regular kids then my Winnie the Pooh child would probably become hyperactive.... AND distracted. Great combo, huh?

So it's my intent to figure out a way to change his diet (and really, our diet, since we'll all have to change with him) and we'll see if it helps.


On a side note, it's kind of mind boggling to me that I have to fill out two forms with doctor's signatures if I want to send any vitamins or homeopathics to school with him. Instead, I just zip over to his school at lunch and get him to take a vitamin. I may enlist some family to help with that too eventually. Or I'll just spike his soup with vitamins and not tell anyone :)

I guess we'll also be removing: bacon, ketchup, lunch meat, mustard... dude, what am I supposed to feed this kid!?!?

Any good recipe help is appreciated.

It's funny that I fed him bacon tonight (and lots of it, I might add, since he got into the leftovers) and he's Very Hyper With a Side of Illogical.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

This was not the picture on the cover of the box.....

I splurged on my children today. After passing by the Crazy Forts box for weeks (every time I went into Chapters) I decided they were worth the $49.99.



After helping them set it up, they decided to get a little creative and make their own type of crazy fort.  There was actually a few sounds of BROTHER AND SISTER HAVING FUN. The cats scurried upstairs to escape so I knew they were having fun.

 


Please ignore the lack of decorating skillz. We bought the house this way, they hadn't remodeled since the 60's. But they look like they are having fun, don't they? They are, they may not admit it under questioning, especially boy wonder... but they are.

So I kept on making dinner. The cats were staying as far away as they could. The noises were getting louder. They were sounding less and less like fort making and more and more like the seizing of Fort Ticonderoga (hat tip, Diana Gabaldon!).

So I snuck downstairs to find:

This is called "sword fighting" and it is apparently infinitely more popular than actually making a fort with $49.99 fort making equipment. Next time I'm buying the pack of 24 wooden spoons for $10 and calling it a day.

Please note my daughter's choice of mismatched socks and the body of Dora, who was apparently a casualty of the seize. And peep that stylin' couch while you're at it... that was the "it's too heavy to move so we'll leave it when we sell the house" couch.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

50 Books a Year

I have a plan. Ok, well that's a lie, I don't have a plan - I have a goal. Reading 50 books this year. I used to devour books... that was before children, of course. My appetite has not waned, but my days are a bit busier these days.

Technically, I read a few hundred books a year since the kids and I read each night, up to three books each night. But I mean big people books. With long words that I sometimes have to look up in the dictionary.

It's only a book a week, should be easy, right? Well, I started off cheating already since I am counting books that I was halfway through when the year began. Hey, my contest and I can cheat if I wanna.

So my first books are:


An Echo In The Bone by Diana Gabaldon
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Sales Coaching by Linda Richardson
Simply Read by Vera Goodman
Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman

I have a couple of books on the go now, but I will wait for a while before I post them. I'll also post reviews, if I like them :)

For the record, I liked all the books above :)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Boy Wonder

This is boy wonder. And I say boy wonder without the slightest bit of sarcasm. He is wonderful. 

When the teachers tell me what's wrong, even when they lace it with "he's so sweet", I remember the wonderful way he is with his sister - reading to her at night, taking care of her when they are out together, holding her hand when we cross the parking lot, how he can't fall asleep without one of the cats with him, how animated he is when he's reading a book. 
ADD - Predominantly Inattentive

We've tried two different drug trials with him. The first, Concerta, lasted a day because the lowest dose made him a manic depressive child. The second, Adderall, helped his classwork, but resulted in "Adderall Rage" at night. In my jacket pocket I have a prescription for Strattera. We haven't filled it yet. Thankfully, the pediatrician recommends a break of a month or so before we start another - if we choose to. He supports us if we don't. We will try some homeopathics, some food changes. Some counselling and behaviour skills training and support. 
But through all of this, he has remained the same boy. 

Wonder Boy. 

And thankfully, after a few difficult weeks, I have him back. He is himself again.

Monday, January 25, 2010

This was an incredibly uplifting video tonight. I needed it more than a martini. More than a babysitter. More than a vacation.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Remain Calm and Carry On.

This whole parent thing? It's harder than it looks. Or maybe it's just as hard as it looks, I don't know. But I do know that it's damn hard.

The BoyChild has been attending a special program at a different school for about 10 weeks. It's for 'mild to moderate' behaviour issues. He returned to his regular school last Monday and yesterday we went for the final meeting to discuss the evaluation and progress he made. It wasn't the most positive of meetings, but it wasn't all bad. I guess it's just hard to see your child and all his behaviours laid out upon the page in black and white.

They feel like judgments but I know that the schools care about the outcome. They don't just think a pill will fix it as the six pages contain only one reference to medication and 50% of the report contains strategies that the school (and we, as parents) can employ.

But still.... there are sentences in the report that feel like knives. .... difficulty expressing thought.... difficulty expressing his thoughts and feelings in written form.... may be the result of inability to sustain focused attention... difficulty generating... organizing thoughts and ideas in a self-satisfying manner...

There are days that I cannot write. There are times when I want to say so much and the words don't come. But I just get up and walk away from the computer until the thoughts gel. But I cannot imagine what it is like for my son - he's in grade three and they are required to write so much. And yet every time he sits to record his thoughts... he is stuck in that same place where the words and feelings are inside of him and they cannot get out. I can completely understand that frustration.

And let me tell you, I have moderate behaviour issues when it's happening. Ask my husband. Heck, ask my ex-husband!

As I review the strategies that the schools have laid out for us, I waver between hope that they will help and the worry that the school will let him fall through the cracks. I mean I've told them for two years that he needs to sit closer to the teacher. Ever since a teacher/psychologist he had in grade one told us that it was crucial for his success.

Basically they say that everything they want to do will not be a success unless they are "matched on a daily commitment by M to work through the frustration he is feeling, try his bast on every assignment he receives and to take greater responsibility for his own learning."

So how the heck do I help him do that?

We'll go to some kind of family counseling, despite Major Man's abhorrence of telling anyone other than me and his best friend his personal thoughts and feelings. We'll keep up our family reading, maybe introduce some family writing as well. Like maybe a gratitude journal.

And I did something that I always do when I encounter a problem.... I buy books about it. My library just increased by three.

Throughout it all, I keep repeating my 2010 mantra: remain calm and carry on. Someone else (I can't remember who!) said this was her mantra for the year and it immediately struck a chord with me. Yes. I can remain calm and I will carry on. Hmmmm this would make a pretty cool tattoo I think....


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Falling behind!

I thought it would be a great idea to read 50 books this year. Mostly because if you times that number by three or four, you'd probably get the number of books I own that I have not read. It's a literal sin (ha! see what I did there?, I am smrt.).

But I am not a fast reader. I'm like the person who likes to eat slow and enjoy the pie. I intentionally slow down when I really love a book. That's what I did with Diana Gabaldon's newest book, Echo in the Bone. That was my first read of the year and she did not disappoint.

Second read was The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. It was quite good. A memoir about a tough childhood, huh? I realized after reading this that perhaps my mother gave it to me for Christmas so I would realize my childhood was really not all that bad, so suck it up, princess.

I usually try to alternate between fiction and non-fiction, so I'm reading More Proactive Sales Management by William Miller and it's quite good. My day-job as a sales manager will benefit ... my team will benefit... and I will benefit.

But it's already the 16th and I'm behind. I should be on book #3 already and there aren't enough hours in the day! I read a bit in the bathtub, a bit before bed, and bits and pieces here and there. I think I'll finish up a couple books I started in late 2009 and cheat a bit and call them 2010 books. First up will be Nurture Shock (awsome book, I'm half-way through) and Sales Coaching.

Do you set reading targets in the year?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

... So I Don`t Have to Work ....

Sk8R Boi is now 8 years old. He`s manish and boyish and goofy and all SpongeBobby (read: spazy). But I love him for every quirk and crazy habit.

Every once in a while I ask him what he wants to be when he grows up. Sometimes he`s said paramedic (usually after his sister has injured herself...) but lately he says (and I quote)... "I want to be a professional snowboarder so I don`t have to work."

Now, I am a mom who has always wanted to support her childrens`dreams. In fact, I remember telling a certain father-in-law that if my son wanted to be a ballet star (I have no idea what they call male ballerinas...) then he could be one. I might have been poking a stick at a bull on that one, but it was true. That was when his dreams were still "mmmm boooooobs."

 And I will support him. I will encourage him. I will enroll him in gymnastics because his dad says it will make him a better snowboarder. I LOVE that it`s something he loves to do with his dad (who, I might add, was once one of the top 10 snowboarders in Canada). But I worry about that second part of the sentence.... "so I don`t have to work". Oh honey. It`s still work. I love writing, but it's still work!

Oh, but wait, insert the quote about ":find something you love to do and then get so good at it that they pay you to do it".

Considering his feelings about school and work and having to sit still and listen to teachers.... I worry that he will think somehow that he's going to get this free ride where he'll just get to hang out, snowboard and get a free ride. He's already told me about the snowboarders that have their own planes or helicopters or limos. And it would be quite cool for him to achieve that degree of success. 

But what about a back-up plan?

At 8 years of age, I hardly have to worry about him locking into a decision too soon. And I will still do all that I can to support his dreams. But what happens when his dream becomes work?

Monday, January 04, 2010

My 2010 Resolutions

They took thought and planning. They are life changing.
  1. Sell book #3.
  2. Stop wearing old, threadbare underwear.