I bring you Mir's perfect and wonderful Woulda Coulda Shoulda said responses...
My most favorite:
Oh, so that’s something you can do on the side while you’re being a mom!
A) Yes, it’s not really a career so much as something I fit in between sewing matching clothes for my kids.
B) Yes, nothing can be as fulfilling as doing everything for little people who claim I’m the meanest person on the planet, but writing does fill that little hole in my heart.
C) Actually, mothering is something I do on the side while I write. What?
D) I have never seen these children before in my life.
E) Yes, I plan to choose my next career around my pet goldfish. Got any ideas?
And Mir made a point in the comments... the snark isn't really for the people who are genuinely curious about what you do... more for those people who see the conversation as a chance to try and make you feel small.
But as we all know... no one can make you feel anything.
I met a woman recently who thought suprisingly like me... in weird ways too. Like the sign in the office bathroom that makes us NUTS:
Flush ONLY toilet paper down the toilet.
So, um... where should I pee then?