Friday, September 11, 2009
When is it ok to lie to your kids?
Do you remember those lies our parents told us - the ones we didn't figure out until we were adults ourselves?

You can't swim for an hour after eating or you'll get cramps and drown. Or... we're tired of watching you kids swim and we want to go inside and play cards and smoke.

Don't go near the train tracks because a train will come by and if you're even ten feet away it will suck you in. Or... we know we're letting you run rampant in this little town so we're going to try scare the crap out of you about the only thing that could really hurt you.

Don't pee in the pool or the chemicals will change color and we'll see exactly who peed. Or... seriously, we're tired of adjusting the pH because you kids are too busy playing to go pee in the bathroom.

I was just thinking the other days about the little white lies we tell our kids. I started lying when I'd want my kids to eat something. M would poke at the meat and say "what's this?" and I knew if I said then he'd say "I hate ". So I'd say "it's frozen dinosaur" or "it's monkey nuts" or "boiled squirrel brains". He used to fall for it, now he just makes that face at me and laughs.

E on the other hand is still in the lying zone. She didn't want to eat the cauliflower (although she was joyfully scarfing down the green beans and broccoli) so I said "But E, you have to eat the cauliflower because it makes your hair grow more pretty princess curls." And as soon as she popped one in her mouth I said "OH! Look at that curl that just grew!" She froze and then clamped her hand right on the top of her head, feeling for a new curl. It was quite cute.

But it can be hard when kids ask you tough questions that you really don't want to answer. We have a policy on honesty. We will tell the truth to the kids ALWAYS, except if it's an adult thing. We're not going to discuss adult things with them. These can include WHY I'm not married to M's daddy (frankly, it's not his business... his dad and I are now better friends and all he needs to know is that we couldn't be friends while married. He does NOT need the details and he won't get them from me!), what a family member said to anger mommy, what mommy thinks about a snotty mom from down the street, why a cousin is a little 'different' (um, because he's crazy?) etc... I mean, really, some of those things don't need to be spoken out loud at all.

I acknowledge that I can be judgmental. I'm working on that. Sometimes I can't really help it... when I see a fellow mom drop her kid off at day care and she's still in her pajamas I can't help but thinking "what the heck are you in a rush for... you got a pillow waiting for you at home??"

But I digress... yet again ... My point is that sometimes I think it's ok to lie to your kids... when it's a funny lie, when it's an obvious lie that they can figure out or when you are too tired and, really, the kids have been swimming since 9 am and it's 3 and I need to get out of the sun.

My other rule is that sometimes it's ok to tell them "that's something between mommy and daddy, it's an adult thing, it's ok and you don't have to worry about that." Hopefully that tides us over until the birds and the bees talk, because I'll have to tell the truth for that one!
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 8:16 PM
  0 comments

Stumble Upon Toolbar


0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home




About Me


The Writing Mother
View Heather Cook's profile on LinkedIn
BlogWithIntegrity.com
Heather Atton Cook's Facebook profile
www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos and videos from HCook. Make your own badge here.

Twitter!

Join!

Shameless Advertising!

The Writing Mother Products
Come visit my store on CafePress!
Or shop from any other online stores:
Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free

Previous Posts

The Mom Blog Network
Proud member of Mom Blog Network
Vote for my blog The Writing Mother on Mom Blog Network

What I'm Reading

What are YOU going to read next?

Credits
Blog Design by:


Image from:
www.istockphoto.com

Powered by:

Calgary

Blogroll
Wanna be in my blogroll? Email me!(Please note: blogs not regularly updated will be removed)

I Still Hate Pickles
Word Count
The Writer Mama
KiWords
Faster Than Kudzu
Where The Butterflies Go
The Writing Life
dooce
Pen On Fire
Michelle Malkin
NeuroticFitchMom
Woulda Coulda Shoulda
Paperback Writer
Literary Chicks
Girl With a Curl
Generation Exhausted
Romancing the Blog
Generation NeXt Parenting
Mommy Needs Coffee
Natalie R. Collins
Charlotte Dillon
Dreams to Come True
I Have Things
Spin Me I Pulsate
Big Bad Book Blog
Writing Thoughts
Crayon Writer
Kristy Shreve Powers
Rosemary O'Brien
Ashley Sinatra - Savvy Writer
A Simple Wife
Angela Williams Duea
The Building Brows
Paul Lima

Archives
December 2005
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009

Writing Tip of the Day!



________________
Add this to your site

Editors Read Proposals NOT Manuscripts
Inspiration for Mothers



________________
Add this to your site