Raising Her

This past Friday we had the Beaver Sleepover where 15 or so kids (and most of their parents) slept over at the local community centre. It was quite fun (for the most part) until the kids decided that sleeping was NOT going to happen and their respective adult guardians were either asleep or pointedly ignoring their lovelies traipsing around the room. I'm going for the latter.

A few of the moms have boys only and they sign and say how lucky I am to be raising a boy and a girl. "Oh you're so lucky... to have a GIRL." They cast long looks over to their boys, rough-housing and making 'spisht' noises with spittle flying. Pow! Zap! Zing!

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE raising my daughter. Just as much as I love raising my son. I can't believe how similar and how different they are. How unique. Gee, almost like they are two different people.

After I'd had my first child, Army Boy, I used to marvel at the excellentness of my parenting. He was a good kid. Therefore, I was a good mother.

Then my daughter came along and Pow! Zap! Zing! I was pretty useless.

She's had her head glued twice, stitches once. She knocked her tooth backwards in her mouth and this past week she actually knocked herself out. She's two and a half, people. I should have known that it would go this way... when she was 3 months old she fell off the bed. I swore that would never happen again, except it did... three weeks later.



I've taken her in to get her head checked out and the doctor said all the accidents were just a product of her walking early and having an older sibling to keep up with.

But the grey-hair inducing accidents aside, raising E is like raising myself. My mother calls her "payback". She's stubborn (stick-to-it-ive-ness), loud (extroverted), demanding (sure of what she wants) and never stops moving (energetic). Sometimes Major Man just looks at the two of us and shakes his head. "Apple... Tree."

Which of course means she's going to grow up to be most awesome. :)

She loves books, running around naked, refuses to say sorry when she's in time out, can stare a hole in your forehead when she's mad, believes completely that you WILL do what she wants and never goes down without a fight. She's also tough as nails physically and soft and mushy inside.

When the other moms look at me and tell me how lucky I am I know they are thinking pink bows and princesses. Yeah, I got your princess right here.

My Favourite Colour

... is pink Camo.

Last weekend I was at an event for the Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters and I bid on a gorgeous pink camo down jacket. Now, many may not think that "gorgeous" and "camo" don't ever go in the same sentence. (I submit that those who say that may not have my Army-Guy crush either.)

But as I was cruising OFAH's web site, I saw that it's included in their online Auction for Wildlife. You can see the complete auction here.

A person-who-shall-not-be-named recently made a snide comment about how "anglers and hunters" could be conservationists, because, you know, they hunt and fish and kill things. After I picked my head up from my keyboard (appalling ignorance gives me a headache) I asked him how he thought that a hundred thousand hunters and fishermen could continue to hunt and fish every year and still leave us with any animals left at all.

Fun with the RCMP

So here I am in Mississauga, at a "work thing". Actually, the company I work for was receiving an award and it was to be presented by none other than the Prime Minister of Canada. My boss was the one actually receiving the award and despite my deep, abiding love for the PM, it was really my boss who started the account I now own that resulted in this award.

But, I did have fun, got my hair done, had a pretty dress on and was shoe throwing distance from the PM. He did the keynote and then zipped out of there... my fellow seatmate and I were most intrigued by his bodyguards.

No, no, not in that way. (Though, admittedly, they were quite good looking.) But in the way they had the Serious Mad Face on and constantly scanned the crowd for do-no-gooders. We didn't know whether they were CSIS, RCMP or some other group. (We were smart enough to know they weren't the 'secret service'.)

After the awards and the very yummy dinner my seatmates and I headed to the pub. Well, who should walk in but the bodyguards! Now, I can recognize an interesting opportunity with the best of them and who wouldn't want to talk to the PM's bodyguards?! I think my new friends were surprised when I jumped up and invited them over, but this is only because they don't know me.

We had some cosmos and there may have been a shot of tequila. Two of them had to work the next morning (taking the PM to church I think) and so they went to bed early and drank water. But the remaining two were a blast, talking about travel with the PM and the crazy guys they encounter and how they have to stay calm and let people have their space as long as they don't get in the PM's "bubble". They were all regular RCMP officers who applied for this special posting.

Recently some freelancers I know were talking about how soul-killing a full time job is, but it's opportunities like this that make me love it!

How I do it.

Every once in a awhile someone says "how do you do it". And I'm not going to brag... because I don't really "do" anything. But if you mean work full time and write... my answer is: naps.This is what we look like after a full day of work, daycare and school... well, for the boychild it would have been school if he hadn't been up until 2 am puking. He's feeling better now.

E can hardly take her eye off of Kung Fu Panda, which is how I get her to sit still (while sitting ON ME) while I take my catnap.

I'm not stupid enough to nap while the children are in another room. That's crazytalk.

Apologies All Around

I know, it's been a month. I have never taken a month off like this. Truthfully it's not a month "off" and over this month I've tried to start writing this post. Six times if I've tried once.

But my energy level has allowed for the odd tweet or Facebook post still. Perhaps my writing endurance has been affected by only being allowed 140 characters. :)

I've been writing quite a bit offline. I edit profiles for an online dating site, I have written and edited portions of my work's training manual, finished one round of edits on the 85K manuscript that's out this spring. Now I sit before a list that includes TWO large manuscript edits (one due tomorrow), more profiles and two articles.

I worry that I'm burning out. My passion for writing is waning. I'm still "a writer" but there's so much else in my cup right now that it all seems like a chore.

Part of the problem is that I don't know how to sit down and relax. Even when I appear to be relaxed, I am not. I'm either planning what I'm doing next or avoiding something with forced relaxation. ("No, I'm just lying here. I refuse to do anything. Nope, not moving. Maybe if I just pull these covers over my head.")

The weekends are the worst - it seems that when I'm at work I can get things done from moment to moment because there's a definite structure. Sales reports. Check customer accounts. Prepare sales flyers. Manage staff. (They are always good for a quick emergency or two a day.)

But on the weekends I feel like I'm 500 pounds and unable to move. I sit and stare out the window or I putter around, feeling exhausted by a task like taking the laundry downstairs. (It never manages to get folded.)

But, I'm off to church now. The only place that I do find some rest and relaxation. (It's just the 'getting ready with kids' part that takes up the energy.)

Doing Your Research

How do you research an article or a book? Do you research before or after you write the proposal? Do you know your 'stuff' inside and out?

With my second book, the one on Green Horsekeeping, I admit, I did not know the topic inside and out. I knew quite a bit, but during my research, I learned A LOT.

The first part of the book talks about the history of horses on the planet. This can be a tough subject to navigate when you're a creationist, believe you me. But being a "creationist" does not necessarily mean I don't believe in natural selection and some forms of evolution. I don't believe that there's one camp or the other and that you have to plant your flag in your chosen belief camp forever.

So I did some research. I'm curious, for those who believe in evolution, have you ever ACTUALLY READ Darwin's Origin of the Species? I mean cover to cover. You can download it here. It's a fascinating read and even starts off quite good. He references God in the early quotations and says, paraphrasing, that man should be as knowledgable about God's book as he is about God's works. I like that.

He also goes on to say in the very introduction that Origin of the Species is not a finished work. It's his abstract - his initial insights - and that the fullness of his work will take many years. In the introduction he states clearly that there are errors, that it's imperfect and that he has basicially no references to back up some of his statements. He doesn't go anywhere near human evolution except to say that we'll know more later as we learn... He was not an athiest, but more of an agnostic. He questioned God, as I believe we all do at many times in our lives. He saw God as a bit more of a programmer of laws than a creator.

Now Darwin's research has been discussed at great length for many years, it has evolved (har har) and people use the term Darwinism without really knowing who Darwin was and what his beliefs were. That's sad, because I think he was really on to something beautiful and complex and I think that if HE could have finished his work fully without the illnesses and hear problems, Darwinism would have meant something different from what it does today.

At the very least, it's helped me win a few arguments with my athiest friends and family members. :)

Now where was I... oh yes, doing your research. I think that now that we have Wikipedia and Google, we forget about the vastness of what came before. We forget to actually READ Origin of Species before we start referencing it. We think we know what it's about because we read the Coles Notes version in high school. Or skimmed it. We know that the people with the fish on the back of their cars are Christians and the people with the walking fish on the back of their cars, are not.

But I challenge you to go beyond. To not research by way of the wikis and the search engines. Actually read the books. Wade through their thick pages with their complex sentances and read what the writers before you actually said.

You can start with Origin of Species if you like. It really is fascinating!

(Crossposted at MamaNeedsABookContract.com)

Cattitude

My cats are kind of ... cat-like and weird. Their names are Ziggy and Zorro and they have pretty good lives when they aren't running from Army Toddler.

Except, the other night I was trying desperately to finish some edits and the kitten would NOT let me have any peace. He'd climb up and pat-pat-pat at the screen, following the typeing or the blinking cursor. I stopped him when claws were involved.

He has an amazing ability to get himself into situations above his pay grade. Witness photo on the right here where the kitten decides he wants to play inside my son's jacket. So much fun. Oh, look, there's a light at the end of this tunnel... oh, wait, now I'm stuck.

I could hear some swishing and movement behind me and when I looked back, he was just staring at the back of my head. "A little help here please?" Of course I offered help after I brought out the camera.

Your Uterus is Your Uterus... or is it?

We've all heard by now that a woman in California had 8 kids. She's apparently unemployed and she had 6 kids aready. Last week in my city a 60 year old woman gave birth to twins. Everyone is upset by both doctors because ethically they should not have a) implanted any thing in the 60 year old's uterus because she's "too old" and b) should have only implanted one (maaaybe two) into the other mother's uterus because she's unemployed.

But here's the thing. Many might know that I'm anti-abortion. As a Christian, I think life starts at conception. Or, to be more specific, I can't say it doesn't start at conception and I think that we're unable to tell when that's a small human life or not. I think we need to protect it.

Now let's have a little side bar here about terminology. The terms "pro life and pro choice" are often thrown around because the people who do not want abortions to occur want to insinuation that the pro-abortionists are "anti-life" and the people who are ok with abortions occuring want to insinuate that the anti-abortionist want to strip away all choices. I want to be really clear... I don't know what the answer is for the world. I do not like abortions, I think that we have no idea when life starts and to say that it's not life because it can't exist outside a uterus (a fetus' natural habitat) is like saying if you put a man on Mars and he dies then he's not human becuase he was supposed to stay in his natural habitat where he could live and breathe.

So anyway. My thesis statement today is that if you are pro-choice and you believe a woman has a right to an abortion, then I believe you cannot criticize either of these women for their choices.... because it was her uterus and she used it the way she wanted to.

But what about the babies? Yes, what about them? I think that it will probably be tough. Not nearly as tough as, say, being aborted.

What about the cost to society? Yes, the treatments for fertility probably cost society and so did taking care of the babies in a hospital after they were born. How much do you think abortions cost society each year? I can tell you. In Canada there are approximately 100,000 abortions each year. Each abortion costs about $1000. That's $100,000,000.

Now, I'm not saying I'm right... I'm open to being wrong, so please have a smidgen of compassion if I've offended you and offer a contradictory opinion, I do want to hear it.

But my question is this... why is it ok for a woman to have an abortion (in the quantity she chooses and whenver she wants) because it's her body (her uterus) and not ok for her to have kids in the quantity she chooses, whenever she wants? And question two... why are the doctor's in trouble? Why are they investigated for doing what both women wanted?

Side effects

I've found a side effect of doing one of those "25 things" lists is that you start remembering all the crazy little things from your childhood or young adulthood that you had long since forgotten. Memories beget memories I guess.

I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit. I think. I always thought that if I had a skill, then I'd just go DO that and I was certain someone would pay me. Now, that didn't mean I always had the courage to take risks, or the smarts to know what to do to make my business stay afloat. I am horrible at bookkeeping and accounting. And though there may be some mental block created when you say "I'm horrible at..." I think it's more that, well, I hate numbers. They didn't really do testing when I was a child, but I'm certain I have a math disability of some sort.

As a child I lived briefly in a small town called Bradwell. It actually didn't really qualify as a town, I think that the correct term is "hamlet". There were less than 150 people living there and everyone knew everyone. We lived in a little trailer that was across the street from my cousins (who had a larger house) and down the street from grandma and grandpa's big house. One day I decided to set up a shop.

I was selling rocks. I had some sort of shelf and upon it I placed my carefully selected rocks. I am not sure if I painted them or not, though I do recall some kind of painting that involved mud. But this was small town Saskatchewan and we had enough mud to go around.

Now, understand that no one drove their car through town. You drove out of town, you drove into town, but you didn't exactly cruise the dozen or so streets that made up the village. No one passed by.

So, as you guessed it, that little venture failed. Or I became bored of standing in the summer sun. Not exactly a "little girl sells lemonade and makes a million dollars" type of story, but it does have a purpose.

You can try and fail and try and fail and try and fail and find success - as long as you keep trying. I have a family member who once accused me of hopping from thing to thing, job to job, infatuation to infatuation and expecting my family to care about every little venture. Now, he was trying to be hurtful and to some extent it worked. But when I thought about it later, I realized that what he was accusing me of wasn't all that horrible.

Yep, I've tried many different jobs, lived in different places and been going in many different directions in my life. I've been a horse trainer, office girl, feedlot worker, feed truck driver, cook, bartender, waitress, day care provider, teacher, student, sales person, manager. And to be honest, I'm never really satisfied with what I'm doing because no matter what job title I've held, for the most part you could add "and writer" onto the end of it - that's always been the suffix of who I am.

But I'm not sure I'll ever JUST write full time because at the moment I am quite enjoying my job and all it's benefits - never mind that I adore the company and think there's more for me there. It offers me the ability to exercise my entrepreneurial muscle without a whole ton of risk, I get to be creative and write, and (let's face it) I have a job that let's me have some sense of responsibility. (read: I get to be in charge of my little corner)

And it took me a while to realize that sales is a part of who I am. My husband doesnt quite understand this as he despises sales and salespeople. But really, he just hates to be sold, which is quite different. Sales, to me, is simply providing for others what they need. Or meeting the needs of others.

Which is why I feel that being a writer - especially a freelance writer - is so much more about SALES than it is about actually writing. Because you can be a writer and not be a freelance writer. There are millions of writers in this world from the teenager writing poetry in her diary to the best selling author with forty books under her belt. But to be a writer who SELLS her work, you must.... sell.

Now, it really goes without saying that all writers must have a focus on improving their writing. Good writing will always sell if the writer puts the words on the market. How do I know this? Because even bad writing sells when it's put on the market. Witness the transactions occuring on sites like elance.com where yes, yes, yes, some writers have gotten their start. But the vast majority of transactions that occur there are low-paying work for bad writing. Yes, I said it, bad writing. Because the vast majority of writers who start there, are newbies who are trying to get a foothold in the market, who think they have to sell some rocks before they can move up to selling a mountain.

But if you have a mountain inside you? Then just start there and sell that.

Huh. I think I have another book to write...

Random Bits of Life

The other day I stopped by my bank and as I was heading back to my van, I looked into the car next to me. There was an older couple in the little red Vibe and between them, on the centre console was a cat, just happy as can be looking out the window. In the back, was a very large bulldog. How odd, I thought, to travel around with a bulldog and a cat. I've never taken a trip with a cat yet that didn't involve it velcro'd to my face or head in some fashion.

***

A young girl stopped by the house some weeks ago asking to see my son. She is probably about nine and my son is seven. She was wearing lipstick. Despite this, I still think she's a nice girl. My son seems to think she's ok as well. Her dad owns a nearby store and I had stopped in to pick something up yesterday. Normally this girl is in there but this night, her sister or cousin was there instead. As I climbed back into the van my son said "I knew that wasn't her. Taylor is much wider than that girl."

Ummmm. Not sure how to have that talk with him. Might start with "here's a tip: never, ever describe a girl in terms of width."

***

25 Things You Don't Know About Me

I've avoided writing one of these... but I've been tagged several times now and my reluctance is being overshadowed by my guilt for not responding. Damn you fellow bloggers!

The reason I struggle is that I think I live my life fairly transparently. I'm a bit of an over-sharer to tell you the truth. I can always be counted on to say something that will result in at least one "oh no, she did NOT just say..."

I've been trying to curb that little habit.

So, off we go:

1. I've suntanned topless.
2. I've been kicked out of a country.
3. As a teenager I once got so drunk I peed the bed. "oh no, she did NOT just say..."
4. I've NEVER been that drunk again.
5. Except when Jim was pouring.
6. I do not have a drinking problem. Really. And I'm not bragging about being drunk either. I think stupidity can happen once a decade...
7. Six was kind of a cheater one, so is this. In keeping with this theme, I've never, ever cheated on a test.
8. I cannot stand to be late. For anything. Both my kids were born late. The little turds.
9. In the past week I've watched Transformers over ten times. I just like the movie and I have to have background noise, even when I'm sleeping and hacking on the couch.
10. There are days that I understand WHY someone could hit a child. It takes every ounce of effort to not smack one of mine.
11. Just after I wrote that, my daughter had a melt down. I did not smack her, don't worry.
12. I am a horrible housekeeper. I regularly have more laundry lying in front of the washing machine than I do in my closets. I think that's the only way I have room for all the clothes.
13. The only way I know to do things is by jumping in over my head.
14. I have two compression fractures in my back. Or had, I think they fuse or something. I don't have any pain.
15. I'm running my first 10k in March and I haven't been running in over a month. (see: jumps in over head)
16. I love writing and I hate writing, all at the same time. I love to hate or I hate to love. It makes me crazy and I can't NOT do it.
17. I did not cheat on my first boyfriend, but I wanted to. And that's why I broke up with him. And then I didn't do anything with anyone... I don't deal well with guilt.
18. My daughter is SO MUCH like me that I worry for her future. She's destined to make her life more difficult than it needs to be.
19. My second cousin, Keith, is very, very different from me. He's here on the left...
20. Many days I can go until 3 pm and only drink coffee.... it's not healthy at all and I'm trying to change that.
21. My biggest, most favourite "splurge" is an afternoon nap.
22. I suspect that I have ADHD-I. But then again, so does every other writing mother I think... I'm to afraid to get tested because I don't want to use it as an excuse. I just want to will myself to do better job at being organized and staying focused.
23. I think people that volunteer or give money to help animals are chickens. I think it's much more brave and compassionate to volunteer to help out the homeless or drug addicts or any other fallible human being. It's easy to love a puppy. Not so easy to hold the hand of a drug addict and say, "I care".
24. I can be very judgmental. I'm working on that.
25. I worry that I will end up alone and that all my friends and family will eventually leave me.

So, that's the list! Now... who to tag...

(On Facebook I did a second list, which I thought was much better.)

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I cry very easily. I cry when I’m happy, sad, frustrated, excited or angry. I cry every Sunday at Church because the music is always so beautiful.

2. I refuse to take the Lord's name in vain, but I will say the f-word when angry.

3. I think that the hardest job on the planet is being a GOOD MOTHER. You can be a mom with a uterus and a few too many shots of tequila, but to be a good mother is very, very hard and I’m never sure I’m actually doing it.

4. One of my biggest faults is that I’m convinced everyone else is happier than me, having more fun and doing more important things with their lives. I’ve always been afraid to be left behind.

5. I’m a huge procrastinator. I think it has something to do with part of my creative process as a writer, but that doesn’t explain why I fill the sink up with water and leave the dishes in there overnight. Procrastination makes me furious. I once bought a present for a friend and kept meaning to send it to her. And then she died. I can’t forgive myself for that.

6. I wish I were a kinder mother and person. Some of my employees nicknamed me The General. I’m also the disciplinarian at home.

7. I didn’t think I was a Type-A person until I said that to a friend and she laughed her butt off at me.

8. I have high expectations for people, but they are never as high as the ones I have for myself. I worry that I’ll accomplish something big and never be able to enjoy it. I think we should enjoy our successes.

9. I am inherently lazy. My biggest guilty pleasure is an afternoon nap. I would never finish anything without an external deadline.

10. Thank the good Lord that I have an internal editor because if I said have the things that were in my head … I’m sure I would be institutionalized.

11. I sort of cheated and wrote one of these already and then all my friends wrote theirs and I needed a second draft.

12. My parents used to live in a tent in the Northwest Territories. Or maybe the Yukon. I can’t remember (cause I wasn’t there).

13. I’ve lived in Canada, Barbados and Austria. But I’ve lived in Calgary, Alberta since 1988 and have lived in over 30 houses in this city alone. I finally bought a house last fall and I’m not moving for a good long time.

14. I almost joined the Army. I had applied for a job overseas and gone for an interview with the Armed Forces… I was 18 and couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do so I decided whichever job called me first would be the one I’d do. The job overseas called.

15. I met my husband while I was overseas because I got kicked out of the country I was working in (Austria) for not having a work visa. We went on a roadtrip to Italy and that’s where I met Randy. I loved him the moment I saw him.

16. Years later I read one of the letters I sent to him after I went back to work in Austria and I know why he ran screaming way.

17. I didn’t marry him until 9 years, another marriage and one child later. God Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts is our song.

18. I loved him for a long time and always wanted to be an Army Wife. And then when I married him (we eloped), he wasn’t in the army any more. Oh well, I’d take him over the army any day.

19. My mother calls my daughter “payback”. During the writing of these 25 things she has puked, thrown a temper tantrum, been sweet as an angel and now I’ve walked her back to her bed for the seventh time. Payback is a youknowhat, that’s for sure.

20. I think Obama is very attractive. I thought Clinton was a Pervy McPervyton the first moment I saw him. Canada has never had an attractive Prime Minister.

21. Of course, I’ve always found American men more attractive than Canadian ones. Canadian accents are never attractive.

22. My favorite movie of all time is Transformers. I cried in the theatre when they captured Bumblebee.

23. It’s been well over a year since I rode a horse and I’m afraid that I’ll never own one again.

24. I loved school. I would love to go back to school full-time. But I have no idea what I’d take. I’ve alternated between: veterinarian, war correspondent, journalist, photographer, nurse, doctor, teacher and politician. But the only thing I know how to do well is write.

25. I am absolutely addicted to buying books. I have close to 1000 and many I haven’t read yet.

Puppy Love

This is a cute little lovestory. I'm a sucker for cute little love stories!

Open Letter to Airlines

I'm writing to you because you are listed as a customer of Cascade Aerospace.

I am aware that Cascade Aerospace has had several health and safety violations and accidents at their Abbotsford hanger. In fact, their workers are constantly exposed to dangerous chemicals that leave them disoriented and sick *while working on aircraft*. The company has, at times, insisted that they keep working and has fired workers who leave when sick.

This situation was recently profiled on Kathy Tomlinson's Go Public show.

Please don't just read the article and watch the video but read the comments made my previous employees and current employees who are too afraid to leave their names. Note that WorkSafeBC also responded in the comments but did not even get the name of the company correct.

I would ask that you consider switching service providers or contacting Cascade and insisting that they fix the problems at that hangar. Do not believe them when they try to discredit the former employees that were featured on that program. My father, Paul Atton, is one of those employees and has lost everything: his health, his wife and his career. He was an aircraft maintenance engineer and passionate about his work. He was very, very good at it and has always had a high level of integrity.

Now he spends days in bed, sometimes cannot get out of bed in pain. He is homeless but chooses to stay in BC where he can continue his fight against Cascade and where his doctor is, the only one who has been able to get him to a semi-functioning state. However his mind still wanders, he still experiences rages and mood swings and he is half the man he once was. He has been told that he will likely be diagnosed with Alzheimer's in five years.

This is the man who used to bike miles to work in the snow or climb a mountain or rock wall. He learned to snowboard when he was 50. There are days he cannot walk to get the mail.

We grew up around the airport and I love to fly. My daughter few on 18 flights before she was 18 months old. I love the industry.

I hope to hear from you.

Heather Cook
403-569-1500
hlcook@shaw.ca

Ahhh that brings back memories.

Watching Law & Order and there's a character named Heather. She used to be a little chubby. She ran away from home after her sister called her a name.

I remember that name.

Heifer.

Boys and Girls

Army Boy is almost seven AND A HALF and he's all gangly arms, pseudo-cool moves, bruises and spacey teeth. I'm pretty used to having a gaggly gaggle of boys running around the house, down the block, at the park...

The other day the doorbell rang. When I opened the door, there stood a girl. At LEAST a year older.

Wearing lipstick.

To see my baby boy.

He wasn't home, so I gave her our phone number. Hey, it's cold here and no one wants to walk two blocks when it's -30C. Well. Now they sit on the phone and chat. Army Boy plays XBox while the phone sits beside him with the speaker on. They complain about little sisters. They talk about school.

And so it begins.

The making (or not) of goals

For the first time in a long time, I'm having difficulty creating any goals for 2009. It could be that I'm having a very rough week and my only goals at the moment are getting through the next 24 hours. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So I'm going to review some goals from past years.

2005

1. Credit Cards paid off by March 31st. This would effectively
take me out of debt - on paper. There's still a Legal Aid bill from my
divorce, but there is no interest charged so it can continue to be
paid off in pre-authorized payments. My car is in my name and registered to
me, but the loan is not - therefore it does not show up as
'my' debt.

2. 10% increase in income from writing. Rather than do 10% more,
I'm going to become more efficient (buying the laptop was a start) and more
effective (by charging more).

3. One more column. I have two: both horse related. I'd like to
develop one either online or in print that is not related to the horse
industry. Maybe writing related.

4. Finish 2 non-fiction books that are currently in the works and
start developing my fiction writing.*

*I finished one proposal and the other one was crap

2006

Apparently I made no resolutions!

2007

1. Write Rookie Reiner (yeah, I should think so... I'm contracted to do it now!)
2. Increase writing income by 10-15%
3. Learn to do my own taxes
4. Reach the milestone of 300 published articles (I'm at about 210)
5. Finish my ICEA coursework and attend the September convention.
6. Finish two more Book Proposals (one horse book and one non-horse book*)
7. Set up new accounting system**.
   
8. Pay off two credit cards, the line of credit and cancel one card.
9. Move. (as in... out of this house...)***
10. Write more about common things people care about and less about politics.

*still does not exist
** yes, if by "new accounting system" you mean, continue to throw receipts on to a pile called "ignore".
*** I did, into another rental...

2008

I didn't make any resolutions that I can find. I did write about 2008 being my Year of Hope though.

I did buy a house, finish my second book (and edits on the first), celebrate 3 years of marriage and my first year as a manager at work.

So I have tried a couple of different ways of resolving to resolve. I've made goals, I've set themes, I've NOT made goals. I can honestly say I do not know what works best for me. At the moment I can't see my way out of my little raincloud to decide what I want to do.

The skies will clear soon. I hope.

The Gratitude Dance

It's a bit of a steal from Where the Hell is Matt, but it's also cute:

Feeling Blessed

I'm off to feed the hungry and hand out hampers at St. Mary's today. I am feeling especially blessed in my life. Even though God knows my shortcomings and sins, he still loves me. Today the pastor spoke about three things to remember this Christmas...

1) BE a Christian (don't just go to church but live a joyful, fulfilled, blessed Christian life),
2) Be extraordinary (don't hide your light),
3) Forgive (even yourself).

It may sound silly to say that I'm looking forward to feeding the hungry today, but I am, I'm hoping that I receive as much blessing as I can and I give as much blessing as I can.

Feel the Fear and Write it Anyway...

Just found this post from the Word Strumpet and I found it very relevant. Especially this part:

I'm so used to the feeling of being nervous that I rarely even notice it anymore. Ratchet it up to terrified (say, book deal) and you'll get my attention, maybe. Meanwhile I go about my business being happily scared half out of my mind, doing it anyway: boarding the plane and hoping some kind gentleman will volunteer to lift my heavy laptop bag to the overhead compartment, meeting the new client, and opening up a new page to write on the computer or the spiral journal.

I'm finally beginning to realize that if you're not scared, you're not living. If you're not putting your nerves on the line on a regular basis, it is time to dial it up a notch. This is true in garden variety living life, and its true in writing.

Fear is the flip side of creativity. But you can--and must--harness it. Maybe there's a creative person somewhere on the planet who doesn't experience fear, but I don't know where that someone is.

Go on, read the rest...

Twitter - Great Resource for Writers

I've run across some writers that don't know what Twitter is, or look down on it as a crazy time-wasting energy-suck. And surely it can be... you can even track how many hours you've spent on Twitter with Tweetwasters.

But for writers looking for sources, subjects or media/PR, there are very few other sites out there that can beat the instantaneous nature of Twitter.

Here are some Twitter people, aka Tweeps to follow, other than ME of course:

http://twitter.com/BreakingNewsOn
http://twitter.com/skydiver
http://twitter.com/prnewswire
http://twitter.com/CopyrightLaw
http://twitter.com/InternetLaw
http://twitter.com/BlogSquad
http://twitter.com/readersdigest
http://twitter.com/Reuters
http://twitter.com/ckrewson
http://twitter.com/msnbc
http://twitter.com/cnn
http://twitter.com/foxnews

I use an application called Twhirl that pops up the “tweets” every few seconds. Because I follow a lot of other writers and media types I tend to know where the great blog posts are and if something is relevant to my current writing, I can include it… plus I try to never forget to tweet my own blog posts and I get more comments and my site hits go up. I’ve noticed my ad revenue go up as well.

There are some netiquette rules to follow of course, just like any other online tool. You don't want to break them, but it's ok if you make a few mistakes... just get out there and try it!