Choosing Happiness

I am watching a program this afternoon about being happy.

Travelling across the country, using surveys to determine the extent of the average Canadian's happiness, Sonja and Jon meet people from all different social-economic levels including a cheery funeral director who loves his work and a disabled single mother who happily spends her free time volunteering. Sonja and Jon find that money and prestige are not a reflection of a person's happiness. In fact, many people who are lower on the social-economic scale rank much higher in terms of happiness than many high-income professionals. Sonja reveals that the life traits adopted by satisfied people are the ones that contribute to a truly happy existence and are lessons that everyone can learn in order to live a more fulfilled life.

They say that 50% of your happiness quotient comes from genetics, 10% from life experiences and 40% from ... ?

Leaving many to think that 40% is choice. Can you imagine? They interivewed one woman who says she wakes up happy every morning. And looking at her, you truly believe that she is happy. She shows us a prime example of the "Duchenne smile". Another woman has used that smile to actually predict the lives of her students. The ones who have that smile are more likely to be married longer, sometimes into the decades, where the others either aren't married or are divorced.

You can find out more at Happy Canadians.

What does this have to do with being a Writing Mother? I'm not always happy. Big surprise there to friends and family ;0).

But starting today I'm going to choose to be happy more. I'm going to say thank you more to my friends rather than complain that no one comes to my parties. I'm going to delete emails that upset me or make me want to react in anger. I'm going to smile and laugh when I am frustrated or tired.

The key is... choosing to be happy isn't about faking it. It's about letting go of anger. Yes, there are deadlines to meet and kids who won't sleep. And there are days I oversleep and rush to work horrible hair. There are piles of laundry and kids who would rather throw spaghetti than eat it.

But there's also the promise of income and children who make the days worthwhile. There are days when I have a wonderful job full of opportunities and hair with it's own personality. We have enough clothes on our back and food in the cupboard.

These are the things I'm going to focus on. These are the choices and opportunities I'm going to seek.

I've been tagged!

My gigglyness (totally a word) at being tagged for a meme can be directly connected to my desire to avoid working on an article that is vexing me tonight. So score one for the readers. Score nada for my writing career.

Thanks Lori. Thanks a LOT. :0)

It's a pretty simple meme... I am to identify five writing strengths.

Clearly avoiding procrastination is not one of them.

1. I can find a theme in almost any situation. I think it's my high 'intuitive' score on my Myers-Briggs test... I see big picture, I see forest. I don't see the individual trees so much.. oh, wait, we're working on my strengths. This means that I am really good at taking a theme, and like a ribbon, weaving in through a story and tying off with a nice bow at the end. And I love finding that ribbon, I love being able to see the bigger picture and presenting it to a reader like a big fancy package.

2. I never miss a deadline. Ok, never is a strong word. I despise missing deadlines with every molecule of my being. I may rub up against a deadline with such urgency that it seriously begins to question my intentions, but I don't often let it slip from my grasp. This is one of the most important ways you can prove to an editor that you are a professional. If you just do this one thing... you'll be ahead of half the writers out there.

3. I do what I say I'm going to do. Related to numero 2, when I have an assignment I do the assignment. I ask my questions up front and I turn in what my editor expects. If there are changes, or if research leads me in a different direction, I keep my editor informed. There are no surprises here.

4. In invest in other writers. How does this make me a better writer? Because by supporting the community at large by teaching and guiding other writers, I learn more about myself as a writer. I've learned about my own procrastination by writing emails to other writers about it. I've learned to query by crafting a query to post to my Writing Mother group. It's sort of a 'know why you believe' theory. As I explain writer to others, my knowledge of it expands.

5. I tell the truth. Well, duh, what the heck does this have to do with being a better writer? I'll tell you. I write with the same dedication to telling the truth whether I'm doing event coverage, explaining a concept, writing about politics or crafting an essay on motherhood. I don't use shock language to make a point or make a story more effective, I trust that the truth and the story are effective when mixed with some elbow grease to take out all the unneccessary parts and to leave all the working parts in tact. I don't spruce up quotes to make a point, I don't insert off color jokes so that someone else might find me funny, I don't take liberties with the stories of others. I'm just the scribe and I'm ultimately telling the story of someone else.

I Have Broken the Flux Capacitor

At this moment in my life I believe I am operating at full capacity. I don't think I have room for one more thing. Perhaps that's why Jordan Sadler's article, An Open Letter to My Son's PTA really struck a chord with me.

Some of us need to work full time. Some of us even need to work more than full time. For the past year and a bit I've been revelling in my abilities to work from home while raising my kids. You could say that I might even have been smug about it. I tried hard not to be. After all, I'd been a full time working single mother for a while so I knew that we all do the best we can at the time.

But even last year as I wrote my book and I juggled a full slate of columns and articles, I squeezed in a piddly four or five volunteer mornings in the Kindergarten classroom. The teachers were very accomodating and let me bring my daughter in while I volunteered. But it became apparent that we were more of a distraction than anything.

And I tried to get to the PTA meetings, I did. But, um, they coincided with my Thursday night off. And I love my Thursday night TV line up, it's my night to relax and veg and maybe even drink a beer glass of wine while hanging out with my husband.

And I admit, that activity had priority over listening to moms with pet projects complain about the lack of funding for security cameras/rubber bits for the playground/paint for walls... It seemed that there was already a clique of moms who had either raised their kids next door to each other, had their kids on the same team or volunteered at the same preschool. I did not fit in.

I tried. But I couldn't get revved up about their projects. I asked questions about why they were necessary or why we needed to paint the library wall two months before the end of school when a) the walls are covered in posters and b) the unionized maintenance staff will get around to it one of these years.

Anyways. I thought maybe I'd get involved this year.

But now I have n+1 projects on my plate where n = the maximum amount I should have and remain sane.

I now work from 6 am to 2 pm and let me tell you... me going around and saying I had "better hours" is somewhat of a pipe dream. Sure it's nice to leave the office at 2pm... but it's not so nice to leave the house at 5:45 am. They say I'll adjust.

I have one proposal sitting at four publishers. I have a query into my current publisher and I'm waiting to find out if they want a detailed proposal or an outline.

I have an article due on the 12th.

I also fly away for four days on the 12th.

I got sucked into going to a golf tournament for work on Monday. Forgetting that it's been four years since I've golfed...

I just begun my Pampered Chef training.

I am late in sending out my eNewsletter.

My juggling act is wobbly. My hold on sanity is tenuous. My veneer is cracking. I may be at maximum velocity, Captain.

(Cross posted at Mama Needs A Book Contract)

I AM FREAKING OUT

Deadline approaching, deadline approaching....

ACK!

Not just a regular deadline either... ACK!

Book Deadline!

Six weeks out!

Must get photographs organized!

I think the biggest surprise of this entire project has been the incredible amount of work that it takes to organize all the photos, line drawings and graphics.

And here you thought publishing a book was about WRITING!