Choosing Happiness

I am watching a program this afternoon about being happy.

Travelling across the country, using surveys to determine the extent of the average Canadian's happiness, Sonja and Jon meet people from all different social-economic levels including a cheery funeral director who loves his work and a disabled single mother who happily spends her free time volunteering. Sonja and Jon find that money and prestige are not a reflection of a person's happiness. In fact, many people who are lower on the social-economic scale rank much higher in terms of happiness than many high-income professionals. Sonja reveals that the life traits adopted by satisfied people are the ones that contribute to a truly happy existence and are lessons that everyone can learn in order to live a more fulfilled life.

They say that 50% of your happiness quotient comes from genetics, 10% from life experiences and 40% from ... ?

Leaving many to think that 40% is choice. Can you imagine? They interivewed one woman who says she wakes up happy every morning. And looking at her, you truly believe that she is happy. She shows us a prime example of the "Duchenne smile". Another woman has used that smile to actually predict the lives of her students. The ones who have that smile are more likely to be married longer, sometimes into the decades, where the others either aren't married or are divorced.

You can find out more at Happy Canadians.

What does this have to do with being a Writing Mother? I'm not always happy. Big surprise there to friends and family ;0).

But starting today I'm going to choose to be happy more. I'm going to say thank you more to my friends rather than complain that no one comes to my parties. I'm going to delete emails that upset me or make me want to react in anger. I'm going to smile and laugh when I am frustrated or tired.

The key is... choosing to be happy isn't about faking it. It's about letting go of anger. Yes, there are deadlines to meet and kids who won't sleep. And there are days I oversleep and rush to work horrible hair. There are piles of laundry and kids who would rather throw spaghetti than eat it.

But there's also the promise of income and children who make the days worthwhile. There are days when I have a wonderful job full of opportunities and hair with it's own personality. We have enough clothes on our back and food in the cupboard.

These are the things I'm going to focus on. These are the choices and opportunities I'm going to seek.

I'm Thankful For...

1. My Father, who hears me.
2. My husband who knows me
3. My son who shows me how to live
4. My daughter who teaches me to smile
5. My parents to whom I owe much
6. My in-laws who gave me my husband
7. My ex-in-laws who have left an enduring mark
8. My ex-husband, who taught me the messy, practical side of forgiveness
9. My friends who inspire me
10. My job, it comes with responsibility and teaches me humility
11. The opportunities I have in life
12. My childhood, as dysfunctional as all childhoods are
13. My agent, the quiet little pitbull
14. My publisher, for continuing to have faith in me
15. Soldiers
16. My country (kind of vague... but I'm thankful I was born here)
17. My writing ability, I'm never going to be done learning how to be better at it
18. My husband's financial acumen
19. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
20. This breath. Right now.

Today's sermon at church was all about being thankful. A thankful heart is the gateway for so many blessings, I hope I can remember to be thankful year round.

It is far too easy to complain about things in life. How easy is it to say "I don't like that, or that, or that..." Instead I choose to be thankful for something every day. No, every hour... every minute.

Energizing Days

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like your fingers are flying across the keyboard so fast your brain can't keep up?

Many call this a visit by the muse. I don't really believe in muses, but whatever works for ya'! I do love these days, when the writing seems easy and the ideas are all around. When the words form nice little sentences on their own and I don't feel like I'd be better off tongue painting jello on the refrigerator.

I don't usually write to music. Mainly because it's usually me and the kids at home and I don't want to be bopping to the latest tunes and not hear my son calling me to tell me he's cut his leg off or the baby's head is stuck in the stair railing. But today I have blessed childcare and I can crank my tunes up.

It's one of my favorite ways to write. Turning up the music loud enough that I can't hear the keyboard. I don't know why it feels so good, it just does. There's something that distracts me by the clickety-clack of the keyboard. I like the sound of it... when I'm not writing. But there's an intense drive that it triggers in me and when I'm already looking at the deadline and driving towards it, that extra boost doesn't always help.

What am I listening to you ask? Shania Twain's Up album. It's been a long time since I listened to it. As soon as I put it in I realized that the last time I bopped to its funky toons I was newly divorced and had just gone on the first few dates post-divorce. They weren't successful, thank goodness.

Chorus from 'Nah':

You won't find me
Naked and cold justa sittin'on the doctor's table
Waitin' to be told justa why
I'm no longer able
To feel my heart beatin'--give me
a good reason why!
I kinda went numb
just around about the time you told me
You were movin' on, and yousaid that you were gonna phone me
It's been so long, and there ain't nothin' wrong with the line

The whole album was really a soundtrack for my life at the time. Just listening to it reminds me how far I've come.

Chorus from 'She's Not Just a Pretty Face':

She's -- not -- just a pretty face
She's -- got -- everything it takes
She's -- mother -- of the human race
She's -- not -- just a pretty face

Chorus from 'I Ain't Goin' Down':

I'm gonna hold on--
'cause what I believe in is so strong
No matter how long, no one
Can tell me I'm wrong--I ain't goin' down

All these songs are written by Shania Twain and her husband Mutt Lange. I look forward to her next album...