Edits!

You know . . . when I'm writing I swear I like editing better.

When I'm editing I swear I like writing better.

Let's face it, I'm a grass is greener writer.

And Now... Something that makes me cranky.

Most Canadians Would Grant Permanent Residence to U.S. Military Deserters

Albertans, males, and those with a high school education or less are least likely to agree.

A majority of Canadians would agree with the decision to let American military deserters stay in Canada as permanent residents, an Angus Reid Strategies survey revealed. Earlier in June, the House of Commons passed a non-binding motion calling on the federal government to grant residence to all U.S. soldiers who fled to Canada after refusing to take part in the Iraq War. In the online survey of a representative national sample, three-in-five Canadians (64%) say they would agree to give these U.S. soldiers the opportunity to remain in Canada as permanent residents. Click here to read more.

See, I took this poll... it was an online poll that asked a bunch of different questions. I noticed that when this question came up, it was rather ambiguous.

What most Canadians don't realize is that the US Army is 100% volunteer. No one made anyone sign up; no one made anyone sign a contract. But they did. They signed a contract. Some had their education paid for.

They are not the same "deserters" from the Vietnam War era. I could have some sympathy for those who were drafted back then. But the biggest problem I have is my government granting "residence to all U.S. soldiers who fled to Canada after refusing to take part in the Iraq War" because my family spent several thousand dollars and two years working to get my law abiding husband permanent resident status here in Canada.

We went into debt doing it. We turned down opportunities for him to work under the table because that wasn't right. We would wait, we would fill out all the paperwork, we would follow the letter of the law.

And all these "deserters" have to do is change their minds about something they agreed to do, buy a flight and bingo-bongo they get to be permanent residents of Canada.

Not in my Canada.

Someone pat me on the back... please?

I came across a blog today written by a very rich mommy and detailing her trials and tribulations of motherhood. Like, flying first class without a change table in the first class bathroom.

And I came THIS CLOSE to leaving a troll-ish comment. THIS CLOSE people. I was so very irritated.

But I backed away slowly, reminded myself that it would be WRONG to do that and now I'm going to put my head down and work while the baby FINALLY naps.

I just had to confess it out here so that I can feel a bit more accountable.

Dear Jerk Face

Dear Jerk Face:

I'm going to guess that when you sideswiped my car sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning, you didn't know everything that we have been going through.

You didn't know how hard it's been, climbing slowly out from under debt accrued living in this expensive city.

You didn't know that this car represented something for me. It was just about to become 'my' car, as we sold my beloved truck to save money on fuel and car payments.

Last month we put over $1000 into it, getting the brakes done. We bought it last year from my former in-laws. It was my former father-in-law's car and he and I havent' always gotten along, but you know what? When I drove this car I thought nice thoughts about him because it had been maintained very well.


I even harboured these secret feelings that in a way he'd passed it down to me. We were going to take care of it. The two car seats nestled in the back might have given you an idea that this is a family car. This is our family's car.

And yet, now we face the possibility that it gets written off. Because the damage is enough that we need to inform the insurance company and they get to decide what to do.

I can't very well drive around without a side mirror, can I? And the damage sticker is good for only so long.

Thankfully I did not find out about this yesterday when I was having A Day From Hell. It might have pushed me over the edge. But this morning when I drove the kids to school there was a wonderful song playing: "on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, I will not be moved."

And so I won't be moved. I won't give in to the anger that I feel right now. I won't Lose. My. Shit. I won't let this dissuade me. I know that people are fallible. I know that if you were in a good place, you would have left a note.

So I forgive you.



Love,

Heather

What Would You Do?

I have a question, I've posted it at my Canadian Parents blog, would you mind comin' over and answering it for me?

When you see a copyright violation....

So you're on a group, a Yahoo group or some kind of listserv. Consistently you see articles being posted - full text, copy and pasted. What do you do?

First, there's the chance that the offender has actually asked permission to post those articles. So you can't go in guns a blazin' and yelling fire. But you can ask if permission has been granted.

I belong to a Yahoo group used for Crockpot recipes... and I've been turning a blind eye to the posting of entire articles to the list. But a few weeks ago the list mom posted something about how she knows all about copyright and nothing she's been doing has been violating copyright because of the rules of copyright regarding recipes. (Ingredients can't be copyrighted, some descriptions can, but with crockpot recipes the descriptions are very often "put it all in, turn it on")

I emailed her off list and politely informed her that while the recipes might be ok, the posting of the full text of articles was actually not. She seemed irritated. An excert from her missive:

"But as I know that Wednesday's food section becomes Friday's fish wrap...I don't see any harm in posting articles from newspapers. In case you don't get the metaphor...newspaper articles are ephemeral...they exist for a day and are gone. I just don't believe anyone is harmed with me or anyone else sharing them. If you disagree with my policy, you are welcome to leave the list. Just because you are a writer, doesn't mean you should *get your undies in a bunch* over copyright. Some people take themselves WAAAY too seriously."

I tried not to get offended. I was really only trying to mention that she might be better served posting links rather than full text, since technically posting the full article was a copyright violation.

She followed it up with "Cooking is NOT an artform that is protected under copyright. Recipes and cooking information are shared quite freely on the Internet. You may not agree...and again, you are welcome to NOT be a part of the list. I'm a writer myself, and believe that bigger works (magazines, books, etc.) deserve full protection. But a couple of articles from newspapers....really, you find this bothersome? Seriously, Heather, get a life!"

Oops, there I go again, me and my no life and taking things too seriously, almost like it were my job! Oh, wait, it is.

It can be really easy to respond in a snappy manner when someone is so ignorant of the laws and how they apply. It's very black and white. If it's yours, do what you want with it. If it's not yours, you have to get permission. We don't get to choose where copyright should be enforced and where it shouldn't - it's a simple matter of ownership. I responded in a polite manner, I didn't tell her she's an idiot (because she's not, she's just ignorant of the rules).

"I apologize for offending you. I simply wanted to ensure that you were aware of the copyright violations. As a writer, I do make my money from selling the "right to copy" my articles. My "undies" were not in a bunch, I was simply engaging in a little exercise of education in case it was required. Writing is writing and copyright is in place as soon as words are in a fixed format. I'm sincerely sorry that you do not understand that and I hope that as a writer you do not ever have your work used without permission. I am a professional and do tend to take writing seriously as it's how I feed my children. I'm sorry that offends you."

I guess I just struggle with what to do as a writer when you see something "wrong". I'm going with "point it out politely, let go, move on". Or as my husband says "Acknowledge and move on". I actually would feel very bad if this individual had her work used without permission, but I think that would probably be the only way she'd learn that her writing is hers and hers alone. and she deserves to be paid for it.

And I believe she's a writer, whether she's published or not. But I want to tell her, "how do you think your future publisher will view your lack of respect for copyright?" I know that my publishers would drop me quicker than I could say 'intellectual property rights'.

The correct way to point someone to an article is:

Copyright on the Web seems to be a difficult concept for people to understand. If you did not write or create the article, graphic, or data that you found, then you need permission from the owner before you can copy it. Remember, when you use someone's graphic, HTML, or text without permission, you are stealing, and they can take action against you.
Read more ...

Springtime in Alberta

So this is what springtime in Alberta is like. Earlier this week I was wearing a skirt and a tank top. M was learning to ride his bike without training wheels. We were kicking the ball around and you could smell the old grass as the afternoon sun baked it. This is why I haven't put the winter boots away yet!

Lonely Planet writer "supplements" income

Well, guess I won't be buying any Lonely Planet titles anytime soon!

The gist of the story is this: the guy said they didn't pay him enough so he didn't actually visit the countries he wrote the travel guides about and he supplemented his income by dealing drugs.

Nice.

But it gets better. Then he has the absolute gall to pitch his book:

Kohnstamm's book, "Do Travel Writers Go to Hell?: A Swashbuckling Tale of High Adventures, Questionable Ethics and Professional Hedonism," is set for release next week.

Uh, so if you have questionable ethics... why am I going to pay you more money? Because this time you're telling the truth. Thanks. I'll pass.

When I'm feeling judgy

Have you ever had a moment when you are just feeling judgy? You know, when you just want to smack someone or your eyes are rolling so far back in your head that if the wind changes they'll stay that way?

Today was one of those days.

We went to the zoo. (Note, brother carrying his sister's coat and sister saying "get me out of this flippin' contraption, there are animals to squeal at!!)

We did have fun, we had a lot of fun. The kids wore themselves out and they both love the zoo now. M was never a zoo kid, but in the last year he's started to love it. E is a total zoo kid because there are Animals! With fur! And they are cute! Her favourite is the warthog, I swear. She goes nuts when she sees him.

It would have been perfect if it weren't for ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE. I don't mind the kids running around, it's just some of those parents. The lady yelling at her son because he wasn't pushing the stroller right ("you just about ran into that lady!") who five minutes later nearly ran over E with her crazy stroller-pushing-while-dragging-kid maneuvers.

I did feel bad for the one mother who was trying to jam her stroller up a hill and thought she was ramming it over a bump, until she realized that the reason it wouldn't go forward was her child's leg was caught against a fence. Yeah, that sucked for her, I did feel bad.

And the people who STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD or, in the middle of an exhibit without pulling over to the side. What is with that? You are not the only person in the zoo today.

But the zoo was fun for the kids. It was a bit chilly off and on, about 6 degrees celsius. Even I needed a nap when I came home.

But the judgy feeling was still there.

I was watching a show, one of those reality shows where contestants try to lose weight. (It's called X-Weighted, I tried out for it once, but was rejected because there wasn't enough conflict in my life!) This woman is stressing about going back to work after her maternity leave (which in Canada is one year).

She's crying and saying "I don't know how people do it! I don't want to leave my baby!" Which translates to me as "all you other women must be heartless". Which, let's face it, probably wasn't what she meant.

But my inner judge said "suck it up princess".

Which I find really sad! I find it sad that when I'm in uber-PMS, judgy mode because it means that my capacity to love anything and anyone is compromised. And my capacity to receive love is compromised.

So this is what I do:

I clear my mind and pray, asking that the spirit of strife leave me.

I imagine the person I'm judging is sitting in a room with me and it's just them and me... then I try to imagine the words I'm thinking actually coming out of my mouth. I imagine what their face would look like if they heard those words.

I ask forgiveness in my heart for thinking those things. (There but by the grace of God go I.)

I receive the forgiveness (crucial step!!) and I move on.

It can be hard to stop being judgy. I think I mentioned earlier that I was diagnosed with Premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD a few months ago. I take a daily dose of vitamins. Or, rather, I am supposed to. But sometimes I forget. Luckily I have a job that has the side benefit of just enough stress to remind me each day to take my Happy Pills.

But more than a physical reason, being judgmental (well, I call it judgy because it sounds nicer!) can be a habit. And I don't want it to be MY habit any more. The first step is stopping the words from coming out of my mouth. The second step is stopping them from forming in my brain.

I'm a work in progress.

One more time. Nice and Slow

I'm going to type nice and slow so that the people who don't get it might finally understand.

As writers, we MUST respect the copyright of other writers.

That means:

1) No posting articles anywhere in any forum, online anywhere, photocopied for your whole class to read, or used in any public forum at all. Yes, that even includes Yahoo Groups.


2) Just because the article is helpful and good and inspiring and wonderful... doesn't mean you get to give it away for free without the RIGHT to do so. Only the author has that right. (Oh and by the way, just because you like a picture doesn't give you the right to repost it either... go find a free photo site... see that pic up above? Free photo site.)


3) All those wonderful stories that you forward on, beautiful poems and essays.. they were actually written by someone. Take the time to either ensure that you have the RIGHT to forward it on or that the author has allowed it to be forwarded at will by people who can't come up with something that briliant. Oh and pegging "anonymous" on the end does not absolve you of the responsibility of respecting another writer's copyright. I can forgive Uncle Larry and Sister Sue and Papa Fred for forwarding something on... they aren't writers. It's like if you hear of someone forging cheques... how much WORSE is it if that person also works at a bank? (Now, forwarding jokes is another matter... see below... but you have to ask yourself, is this a funny essay that someone deserves payment for, or is this a joke. Here's the test: can you memorize it and retell it at the water cooler? No? Then it's an essay.)


4) Learn the proper definition of PUBLIC DOMAIN. It does not mean "out there in the world". It means "Material that is uncopyrighted, whose copyright has expired, or is uncopyrightable" this includes government publications, many jokes. Here's a refresher for you.


5) Know the different between copyright and assigning rights. When you create a work, you always have the copyright, UNLESS you are an employee and creating that work for your employer. If you are not an employee, then the copyright is yours to ASSIGN THE RIGHT TO COPY. That's where we get into first rights, all rights (which isn't giving away your copyright, you've just given them the right to do what they want with the work, but the copyright is still yours... think of it this way: You own the cow, but you've sold all the milk), web rights, archive rights... and while we're at it... that copyright only passes to the purchaser (the publication) when they PAY YOU.


6) Plaigiarism = BAD WRITER. It is defined as taking anything that you didn't write YOURSELF and claiming that you did write it.


Ok. I'm done my rant. I was just set off once again today by seeing yet another writer copy and paste an entire article in an email and send it to a list of writers.

WTH People?!?!

Freedom of Speech in Canada Under Attack (again)

A publisher I happen to know was recently called to the Canadian Human Rights Commission to answer for his actions to publish something that someone found offensive. There are three videos available of his testimony. I’d suggest watching them in order though the first and third are particularly impressive.

http://tinyurl.com/3b6fgg

While I hope not to offend anyone… the fact remains that as North Americans we have the absolute right to publish our opinions in print and online and NOT be questioned by our governments. It’s perfectly legal for me to say “All blue eyed people are inherently dumb.” It’s not ok to incite someone to inflict violence on another. “Kill all blue eyed people.” But the latest thing to do – at least in Canada – is to complain to the HRC and cause the person you don’t like to have to jump through legal hoops at their expense. If you listen to the first video you’ll hear the publishers comments about the Human Rights Commission and how its intent was to be the ones standing up for people who had deeds committed against them (not allowed to rent an apartment because they are Chinese, fired for their religions beliefs…) but it has now become the place where complaints that don’t stand up in a court of law go to be heard.

Hell Thy Name is Airline Travel

Okay. I've been up since 4:45 am. It's now ... shoot, I don't know what time it is! It's either after ten or after eleven at night.

Last night I booked a taxi for 5:15 am as I had to be at the airport by 6:00 am. It was a no-show. So I had to drive the truck to the airport and leave it there, unlocked, with the keys hidden inside so my husband could pick it up. We have one key for it.

I board my flight. I'm supposed to go Calgary -> Minneapolis -> Oklahoma City. But Calgary weather has other ideas and we sit on the tarmac for two hours waiting for de-icing. But, tis better to de-ice than not de-ice, right?

So I'm still in a good mood because I'm going to make the best of this trip and look on the bright side. I'm choosing happiness, remember?

When we land in Minneapolis, my connecting flight is taking off. Ok. So they bump me to the next flight.. I'm going through Memphis, TN. Cool, I've never been to that airport, or Tennessee for that matter!

Still in a good mood.

In Memphis, things started to go downhill. Drunk guy in the bar fell on me. Irate American started going off on America because he thought "hey, she's Canadian, surely she must hate America." Yeah, if you are going to bash your own army, please make sure you are not talking to someone whose husband is a former US Army Major. You will not win and you will stomp off like the big bawl baby that you are.

I got on the next flight and the one flight attendant was ker-anky. I was sitting with this very nice lady and her sleeping toddler. My seatmate was of Asian descent, but was from New Orleans. Flight attendant comes over and says, "I need to give you some instructions on holding your baby. Can you speak English?"

Dude. I was offended on her behalf. My mouth even dropped open, which attracted the attention of cranky stewardess who I think might have realized that she was rude. Maybe it's just me, growing up in a multi-cultural area, living overseas... your color does not dictate what you speak.

Finally arriving in Oklahoma City to find that for the third time (out of three trips) Northwest Airlines has lost my luggage.

Then I head to pick up my rental agency and they tell me "you are late, we gave away your car." What the heck? So all that entering my flight information and the insinuating that it was so that they would know if my flight was late? What was that? Just for the heck of it? I had a hard time not losing my temper. It was the last straw.

Oh, no... wait, it was paying $600 for a car rental at another company rather that the $200 that I had reserved a car at... yep, that was what broke me. Crying at the airport again. Nice.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Brand new day.

The Strike

I am naturally averse to unions. I am. I dislike big groups of like-minded people who all seem to swim the same way.

This could be because I'm not like anyone else in my family and I like it that way just fine.

So I was distrustful of the Writers Guild of America strike. Surely these writers are making a gazillion dollars already. Surely they aren't squabbling over cents here and there.

But I started to think about why I was opposing it. Does someone who makes more than me deserve to be paid less just because they already have more money? No.

After doing a little research, I realized that these writers aren't rich. They are writers. They are probably paid better than Joe Freelancer, but they are good at their jobs. If you've laughted at a sitcom or cried at a late night drama, it's because of the writers.

And they deserve to be paid for their work. Non-writers don't always understand, afterall, most people don't create something and then expect that thing to continue to pay them. But that's what writers do. They create a script, a plan, an outline, a guide.... and then it's used to create something in a different medium. It moves from paper to real life. So when it moves from real life to the internet, that is a continuation. Someone is using that original piece - words on paper - to make money.

At the moment it's not a lot of money. But it will be. Watch this video to learn about what happened the last time writers reached this crossroad. They didn't stand up and to date they have collectively lost MILLIONS.




Or, we can break it down into numbers:



I support them. I hope you do too.

Goodbye Norman Mailer. You Sucked.

Yes. You heard me. You sucked.

Norman Mailer died today.

I've never made it through a single one of Mailer's poorly written books so I was gritting my teeth as I read the tributes and the emails about losing a "great writer".

And then I stumbled along Roger Kimball's take on the passing of a "legend".

It is in his ideas about sex, especially as he relates them to the rest of life, that Mailer was influential and most destructive. It would be difficult to overstate the crudeness of his position. In 1973, in one of the countless interviews he has given, Mailer was asked for his opinion about legalized abortion. Mailer thought well enough of his answer to reprint it in Pieces and Pontifications (1982):

"I think when a woman goes through an abortion, even legalized abortion, she goes through hell. There’s no use hoping otherwise. For what is she doing? Sometimes she has to be saying to herself, “You’re killing the memory of a beautiful f***.” I don’t think abortion is a great strain when the act was some miserable little screech, or some squeak oozed up through the trapdoor, a little rat which got in, a worm who slithered under the threshold. That sort of abortion costs a woman little more than discomfort. Unless there are medical consequences years later. But if a woman has a great f***, and then has to abort, it embitters her."

Whatever else can be said about this statement, it is the declaration of a moral cretin.

I am disgusted. Goodbye Mr. Mailer. Full Stop.

Warning: Grumpiness Ahead

No one likes to read grumpy rants. I'm sure of it. But tonight I am irritated, grumpy and generally unbalanced.

It's been a long week at work. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I'm averaging 17 hour days between getting up and going to work, taking care of the kids, writing, studying and doing activities like the Beaver Walk this past week. By Friday, today, I'm pretty much done.

But I had a meeting to attend tonight. I sent a notice out to the members of my writing group, asking them to attend this Very Important Meeting. We were to plan the coming year. I wanted to know what they wanted, what types of meetings/speakers/locations... they pay to be a part of this national organization and they pay a chapter fee. I wanted to make it worth their while.

No one showed up. A possible attendance of almost 30... and no one showed.

Demoralized would be one word. Cranky another. I could even try mad on for a while. But the question begs to be asked: Why?

I really want this writing group to succeed. I really want to meet face-to-face with the writers, talk shop, learn, grow, develop. We've had some good meetings - web site copy, editorial panel, freelancing tips, marketing to editors - with very poor attendance.

What seems, for some reason, to be even worse is that I have several non-members on my email list. Lots of them show up and despite the note that it's $5 a meeting for non-members... in a year only one has ever paid. And then they request topics or locations... and honestly? Tonight I just want to say "pay your membership fee and then we'll talk".

Because in my work/life balance... this is unbalancing me. Major Man works from about 3 pm to 9 pm most days. I asked him to come home early (5:30) so I could attend this meeting. And no one showed. So not only did I waste my time, I wasted his as well.

The opinions on why people don't show vary from "the time doesn't work for me" to "the topics don't interest me" to "I have XYZ to do". Really, I think that the problem is that here in our city there's too much money, too much opulence, too many opportunities. A few years of making no money, barely scraping by or having to compete for work might change things... it might make the writers a little more willing to liaise with other writers, seek comfort from their kind.

But it doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon. People don't care. I'm starting not to care. I have my online group, they are enough.

Warning: Curves Ahead

I'm getting ready to be busy. Swamped. Distracted. Tired.

I'm headed back to my old job. Oh sure, I could look at it like giving up, like giving in... but those who might say that... don't live in Calgary. This place could surely be one of the most expensive cities to live in. And while I made the most ever in my last year of writing... It's not enough to survive. If surviving is ensuring I drive a safe truck, my kid can attend soccer camp and take gymnastics lessons.

In essence, I've put off my dreams just a little so I can give my kids a little more. I'm definitely not stopping writing, I have more books to write, more articles to write... but I'm just not doing it "full time". I tried to come up with reasons why I didn't do a better job over this past year and all I could come up with was "well, I just didn't... I had kids".

But this pending change has left me a little grumpy. I find myself sniping at friends and family. I find myself with a short temper.

Amidst this, my doctor believes I have premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD. The typical treatment involves medication. Something not practical for me and a breastfeeding one year old. So my doctor has prescribed me Vitamin E and a B-50 Complex. After speaking with the most wonderful homeopathic pharmacist you'll ever meet I also picked up some iamara and sepia officinalis.

Just what does PMDD feel like? For about three days a month it feels like I'm going insane. I feel unable to cope, I feel mean, I feel angry. I feel like the best thing for me is to slam my bedroom door, crank up some Pink and scream into a pillow.

I normally hope that the urge occurs when my son is playing and my daughter is napping. It doesn't work that way though.

Here are some comments from others:

It was as if the normal ‘sane’ me was inside watching a psychotic me take over.

I would go off on him for absolutely no reason, or overreact to the point of being really hurtful.

At first I thought my emotions were simply out of whack and that I just needed to deal with it somehow. The past few months have been terrible in the sense that anger has turned into rage, sadness into depression, normal irritations bring on great frustration!

There’s a dark rage that takes over, turning everything black. Triggering stupid, impatient reactions to things that I can normally laugh off. I don’t even know who I am sometimes. I watch myself behave terribly, but I can do nothing to stop it. I have tried. I have tried so hard.

I’ve been trying to control my outbursts at others by going somewhere and crying until my eyes are swollen, then when I get home I scream at my son for no reason.

Ten days before my period I start to suffer severe anxiety and I can barely sleep or eat, I feel physically ill and I have the most awful panic attacks to the point where I just want to escape from my own mind. At these times I sincerely believe I have a terminal illness and that I am a bad, ugly person.

Associations and Advocacy Groups

You know. I'm really getting tired of associations and advocacy groups. Not that I feel that they are unneccesary, I know that they are. And sometimes they have great networking opportunities and professional development. But lately I am just finding them tiring!

I tend to 'feel' when I read. If someone is writing an email about the wrongs of an association, I start to feel really anxious, I start to react to what they are saying. In reality, nothing has changed, someone is just relaying information. And what is very often the case is that it's a minute group who has a problem and they sound like a herd of elephants.

Some associations are more fractious than others and some go through periods of difficulty before finding their feet, again. Sometimes that happens over and over.

I'm involved in several organizations and it seems that they swap stressful times. When one has settled down... the other starts up. It is becoming really tempting to walk away and say "you know, I look out for me, that's it, that's all." But the problem is that I have a feeling like I need to give back. I feel like I *should* volunteer.

Lately I'm just wondering why. Why do I need to volunteer for a professional or sport organization?

How about Child Find Canada? How about groups that help rid the world of poverty and homelessness? How about a crisis line?

Why am I concerned about these other organizations when it would be so much more fulfilling and worthwhile to volunteer for a cause that matters in this world?

That is the question.

Back from vacation

Just got back this afternoon from a week-long vacation in the mid-west. Indiana to be exact. Now I'm a Canadian prairie girl so the mid-west feels very homey to me. It's different than home, of course, being that it isn't home... I love the huge trees that seem plucked right off of a romance cover and the humidity that does loverly things to my hair. (I kind of like it curly and unruly!)

One of the highlights of my trip was getting together for lunch with Shirley Jump. We actually didn't talk shop a lot, but she was very helpful with advice on family matters!

Sometimes family matters can really get you down. If perfect strangers were doing the same things our family did, we could let it slide. But because it's family, it's close to the bone.

I learned an important lesson this week. I am the most important advocate for my children. I can stand up firmly and draw the lines around my family so that my children know just how much I value them.

And to my former mother in law: I am SORRY. I had NO IDEA what I had in you. You are a wonderful grandmother, let me never take you for granted, I'm so happy you are in our lives. Granted, I wouldn't have stayed married to your son just for you (because honestly, we're better friends now than we were when we were married) but you are worth your weight in gold not just as a grandma, but as a mother in law. How precious it is to have an ally.

Now. I had so many ideas for articles while I was on vacation! I am just dancing at centre here, waiting to get some queries out the door. I put myself on a writing diet on vacation and did not write a word, didn't even start up my laptop! I wanted to some times, but I didn't... and it feels so good to be back at the keyboard today!

The kids had fun as well... getting to know their cousins. I think their cousins are sweethearts and I really enjoyed getting to know them as well!

Emily took her first steps this past week. Actually the first couple of steps were on a boat and we kind of looked at each other and said "now is that because the boat moved and she rebalanced herself, or did she just take a couple of steps?"She's taken to grinning at people with MY OWN CRINKLY GRIN. This face is identical to about fifty of my baby pictures. Major Man calls it the "who farted grin".

And the almost-six-year-old wouldn't get off the pool steps on day one, but was dog-paddling all over the pool by the last day! I have plenty of smiling pictures of him, but I feel like showing you the "I pout, therefore I am" one that I got when he decided that is cousin wasn't being fair.

I had no idea it was so hard to teach the rules of fairness and sharing. He's a conundrum, my son.

What the heck...

So... my blog was locked by Blogger's "spam-prevention robots"... what the heck does that mean!

What it meant was I was unable to post anything!

I had to fill out a form to get my blog reviewed by Blogger... unfortunately Blogger doesn't tell you anything about WHY your blog has been locked... just that "On behalf of the robots, we apologize for locking your non-spam blog."

And yet... I have to wait for some real person to come and unlock my blog! Grrr....