The Whys.

If you are a part of my Writing Mother Yahoo Group, then you may have already heard... I'm officially, officially a full time freelancer. But weren't you already? Yes and no. Yes, I freelanced full time. But I had this wonderful thing called Maternity Leave Benefits going on.

And at the end of this month, the benefits run out. So it was time to let my boss know that I wasn't coming back.

So I did.

Then he offered me a raise AND a promotion.

While I told him that I'd think about it... there really isn't anything to think about. I will still be mentally and financially better off staying at home. Truthfully, I might be a bit financially ahead if I went back, but is a couple thousand dollars a year worth the sacrifice mentally?

Today I helped my daughter stand on her own. She's ten months and can only do it for a few seconds before she's over come with giggles and she either starts to topple or she flops down on her butt.

I was here when the neighbor kid came over for the first time to ask if my son could come out to play. My son's face lit up because he's been quite leery of the boys in the neighborhood and now it seems they are buddies.

I was here to stack blocks with my daughter and giggle with my son as she smashed the blocks down with a mighty baby roar.

When my son splashed water all over the bathroom, I had enough energy left to accept it calmly and deal with it rather than get frustrated because it was another job to do before I could go write for the day. I'd been writing all day, I wasn't pressed for time.

I was worried about giving up my RRSPs and DPSP (deferred profit sharing plan) until I realized that I don't have to share my profits with anyone. And yesterday I signed up for a new RRSP with a really hot financial consultant... who happens to be my husband.

A fellow writer cautioned me about leaping into the freelance pool too soon. I understood her concerns, she'd tried to do it before. I did too... as a single mother with hardly any writing credits to my name. I wasn't in a good place emotionally as I'd just come out the "sunny" side (supposedly) of a divorce. I was too stressed to be a good writer or a good mother. Now I have five years experience with both.

And some savings... that's important. I've known this day was coming for over a year... ever since I got pregnant with my daughter I knew that I'd stay home when it was time. And I know WHY I'm staying home, deep in my heart and soul.