Love Thursday

Up at Joshilyn's blog there's a post with Rebecca Flowers who wrote Nice To Come Home To, her first novel. It's about love and, I suppose, the aftermath. I haven't read her book yet, but I intend to.

Anyhooo, for Love Thursday I'm going to talk about something that Rebecca Flowers said on Joshilyn's blog:

Hold out for true love. ‘Cause it’s just too hard to live with someone, under any other circumstance. And because yes, yes, YES!, it exists. It’s not what Lori Gottleib seems to think it is, however. True love is NOT the thing that gets you what you want out of life – a house, a baby, a family, perfect and unerring happiness. True love is the thing that complicates life, that makes it messy. And wonderful. And joyous. And profound. But will it get you what you’ve always wanted? Certainly not. Certainly, certainly not. It’s just like prayer, you know.

I so believe that. How could I not? I met my husband when I was 18 and I KNEW he was the one. Knew it in my marrow. He, unfortunately, didn't realize this. He was very career focused and a dedicated bachelor. But I knew.

We dated only briefly. He lived in Germany, I was in Austria... I moved back to Canada and he moved back to the US. We lost touch. In between I married and had a wonderful son. And got divorced.

My son was about two and a half when I started reading Diana Gabaldon's book, Outlander. Perhaps you've read it? Well I was head over heels in love with Jamie Fraser, her main male character. I stayed up until 3 am reading some mornings...

Suddenly, mid-passage I realized that the reason I loved Jamie Fraser was because he was the literary equivalent of Major Man. I knew I had to find him. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could either walk through or close that door. I knew he was the one.

So I stalked tracked him down and called him. It started off a little shaky. I called him twice in a week and got the definite "you're crowding me" vibe. Dedicated bachelor, remember? And I'm not exactly subtle.

We emailed for about a year before I called his bluff. Was he scared to see me, did he think that I was a crazy stalker? He called my bluff, saying that I could just as easily come and visit him in the US.

I booked a flight for the long weekend in September 2004. We married in September 2005.

It's been a rough few years, true love doesn't guarantee smooth sailing. Far from it. And we have made things extra difficult for ourselves by having a baby without waiting for his permanent resident card, getting in and out of debt, living in a city that's too expensive... But I can say, without any reservation, that he's still The One. He's still the rudder in my life, the one that can calm me with a touch the same way he used to calm our daughter. It was incredible, when she was still in the womb she'd start kicking and he'd put a hand on her and she'd stop instantly.

He's patient beyond belief. He'd have to be to live with me... I'm a control freak and most of the time he's waiting out some issue I've manufactured. (Where is the plastic thingy for the apple slicer, where the heck is it... it's supposed to be Right Here. Did you touch it? Did you move it? Did you see it? Why can't anything stay where it's supposed to?! Oh, here it is, uh, um, I think I left it there after getting an apple for M earlier. Okay... moving on...)

I think our rough patch is evening out though. We see where the waves are, we know the shallow pools and deep still waters. We know what we need to do to make this work. We can do it together now.

Happy Love Thursday!