Love Thursday for Mrs. L.

Dear Mrs L,

When my son was in Kindergarten it was your first year as principal at our school. I was a little weirded out by you because you were simply too sweet. You seemed to be patting me on my head and smiling just past me all the time. I was never really sure that you knew what was going on in the trenches.

But M had a great and wonderful teacher who had been teaching for three decades. I didn't really have to worry about anything because Mrs S had things covered.

And then this year things with M really seemed to take a bit of turn for the worse.

But, Mrs L, you've been a surprising new discovery. You love children. When I had to come in to the office and talk to you and I got all weepy because if M's difficulties, you saw right through me like my skin was made of glass. You started telling me about how it was when your kids went to school and you were so busy working full time and trying to manage kids and how now you just hired a wonderful teacher and you didn't even know until she brought it up that she taught your kids grade one during that first difficult year of being a working mom.

The compassion you've shown for my son is simply unmatched. You're so concerned about his self-esteem and you see this amazing brightness in him that I thought perhaps I was the only one to see for a while. You see his compassionate side and his desire to be liked and you are the first to stop me in the hall and tell me that he's had exactly 3 wonderful days in a row at school. When he has bad days you make sure you note down the time and what was happening, not just to tell me, but to try and determine what exactly is causing it. Could it be food related? Transitions? Just being tired?

And knowing that you raised five children (one that just graduated from Harvard) is just another reason that I know you get it. Having five kids turn out well isn't a fluke. You did something right. At the literacy night this week, your stories of the way you read with your kids was inspiring and made me want to scoop up an armful of new books and sit down with my son and read until we fell asleep.

Yes, this year I've gotten to know you and I'm so very thankful that you're in M's life.

So you can understand why I'm taking your retirement so very hard. I can't even talk to you about it without getting big fat stupid tears in my eyes. I hate that. But I hate that you are leaving even more. I don't want you to go. Don't go, ok? Please? Yes, you have more than earned your retirement, but in just two and a half more years we'll be moving up to the next school and you can leave then, ok? Because we need you here.

We need your passion. We need to hear how excited you get when you are telling the kids about the play coming up and when you are extolling the virtues of newspapers and their role in literacy to a handful of parents and when you are congratulating a child on just getting through a week without a major incident.

Just please don't go, we still need you.

Love Thursday is Enough

So many things to love this Thursday!

Grey's Anatomy is back! My week is complete!

Found out today that next week Hubby goes to pick up "pre-course material" from the job-that-isn't-yet-officially-his-yet-but-why-else-would-they-enroll-him-in-the-training-class-job.

The baby slept for six straight hours last night. She's finally getting over her sickness. No one puked last night either. Woot!

Granny is better. She's happy. She's awake. She's excited to still be here and I'm happy too.

I already love my new editor because she was awesome on the phone today. I think she's used to more... sensitive... writers, but she has me loving the editing process already. AND she said they were very happy with the photography I did! YAY! I can now justify the dollars I spent on camera equipment.

Desperate Housewives and LOST and ER and Grey's Anatomy and Brother's and Sisters were ALL NEW this week. It's like a trifecta, no a ... what's five? A quintecta. A pentatecta. Five perfect hours of TV watching where all I had to think about was "why does Christiana have 'intestines in hand!' and will Luka leave Abby? and who is the father and I can't believe Ben denied his daughter!"

My new credit card has a 1.9% balance transfer rate until October. Take that stupid mastercard that won't lower its interest rate.

There is almost nothing that can't be cured by LOLCats.

I have been going to the gym and feeling it - this is good. This is progress.

I have enough. Enough love. Enough time. Enough people. Enough.

Love Thursday

Up at Joshilyn's blog there's a post with Rebecca Flowers who wrote Nice To Come Home To, her first novel. It's about love and, I suppose, the aftermath. I haven't read her book yet, but I intend to.

Anyhooo, for Love Thursday I'm going to talk about something that Rebecca Flowers said on Joshilyn's blog:

Hold out for true love. ‘Cause it’s just too hard to live with someone, under any other circumstance. And because yes, yes, YES!, it exists. It’s not what Lori Gottleib seems to think it is, however. True love is NOT the thing that gets you what you want out of life – a house, a baby, a family, perfect and unerring happiness. True love is the thing that complicates life, that makes it messy. And wonderful. And joyous. And profound. But will it get you what you’ve always wanted? Certainly not. Certainly, certainly not. It’s just like prayer, you know.

I so believe that. How could I not? I met my husband when I was 18 and I KNEW he was the one. Knew it in my marrow. He, unfortunately, didn't realize this. He was very career focused and a dedicated bachelor. But I knew.

We dated only briefly. He lived in Germany, I was in Austria... I moved back to Canada and he moved back to the US. We lost touch. In between I married and had a wonderful son. And got divorced.

My son was about two and a half when I started reading Diana Gabaldon's book, Outlander. Perhaps you've read it? Well I was head over heels in love with Jamie Fraser, her main male character. I stayed up until 3 am reading some mornings...

Suddenly, mid-passage I realized that the reason I loved Jamie Fraser was because he was the literary equivalent of Major Man. I knew I had to find him. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could either walk through or close that door. I knew he was the one.

So I stalked tracked him down and called him. It started off a little shaky. I called him twice in a week and got the definite "you're crowding me" vibe. Dedicated bachelor, remember? And I'm not exactly subtle.

We emailed for about a year before I called his bluff. Was he scared to see me, did he think that I was a crazy stalker? He called my bluff, saying that I could just as easily come and visit him in the US.

I booked a flight for the long weekend in September 2004. We married in September 2005.

It's been a rough few years, true love doesn't guarantee smooth sailing. Far from it. And we have made things extra difficult for ourselves by having a baby without waiting for his permanent resident card, getting in and out of debt, living in a city that's too expensive... But I can say, without any reservation, that he's still The One. He's still the rudder in my life, the one that can calm me with a touch the same way he used to calm our daughter. It was incredible, when she was still in the womb she'd start kicking and he'd put a hand on her and she'd stop instantly.

He's patient beyond belief. He'd have to be to live with me... I'm a control freak and most of the time he's waiting out some issue I've manufactured. (Where is the plastic thingy for the apple slicer, where the heck is it... it's supposed to be Right Here. Did you touch it? Did you move it? Did you see it? Why can't anything stay where it's supposed to?! Oh, here it is, uh, um, I think I left it there after getting an apple for M earlier. Okay... moving on...)

I think our rough patch is evening out though. We see where the waves are, we know the shallow pools and deep still waters. We know what we need to do to make this work. We can do it together now.

Happy Love Thursday!

Dear Family and Friends: This is how you know I love you....

(It's Love Thursday...)

If I feel you're upset and I ask what's wrong - it's because I care.

If I make an assumption it will be that you are doing the best you can with the best intentions, because I care about you.

If I'm upset with something you've said or done, I'll address it right away rather than let it fester inside me. This is because I value our relationship.

If I hear that you said something against me, I won't believe it until I ask you and look into your eyes.

I will apologize if I feel I am wrong because I care. If I don't think I'm wrong I'll still apologize for the situation and for your hurt.

Love Thursday

There's this Love Thursday thing that I learned from Mir. I've always seemed to miss it, but here I find myself on Thursday with a few minutes to kill before LOST starts and I zone out and let my inner couch potato out for... a sit on her arse.

I'll start off my first Love Thursday with an easy one. I love my kids. And I really love my kids together. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my brother when I was growing up, and it's been a goal of mine to raise my kids to trust and depend on one another. To appreciate each other and look out for each other.

I've told M every day that this is HIS sister. She is his. And when E grows up, I'll be sure to tell her that he is HER brother. They aren't adversaries (yet...), they don't need to compete, they are each unique and I want them to know that about themselves and about each other. But there may come a day when they only have each other. When other family members have fallen away and they are the keepers of each others' memory.

M is very protective of his sister. When she was just a peanut he'd hover around her bath and say "keep a hold of her mommy", "don't let her head go under mommy", or he'd make faces at her and then laugh hysterically when she giggled back at him.

I can remember him cupping his hands and yelling into my belly "Hellloooo baybeeeee!". I can remember him pressing his ear to my belly and E kicking him in the side of the head. I remember being in labour with E and looking up to see M sitting at the foot of my bed, right beside the midwife, watching his sister being born.

This is why I wanted children, to see love grow and grow and become something real that they could put their trust in and know it would be safe.