Greetings from Allergy Hell

I am an allergy sufferer. I feel like one of those commercials. I actually took a picture of my eyes the other day and considered posting them so you could feel my pain. But it was so awful that posting a picture of me in a bikini would be less stressful.

Sleeping for only two hours at a time, popping pills in the middle of the night that make it a chore to get out of bed in the morning, spending the whole day reminding myself NOT TO TOUCH MY EYES. Because woe unto me if I do because it will take an hour for the irritation and itching to die down. I think my left eye is actually raw.

Feel my pain?

Or even better, WHICH DRUGS WORKED FOR YOU????

Being at work all week is actually the easiest part because I have some make up on and I know i can't touch my face or they'll all be "hey, who invited KISS" as I'll rub all the make up around my face and be oh-so attractive. Plus, I work inside so I'm not assaulted by nature.

At home though we keep windows and doors open to let the cool air through. And I have to go weed my garden plot at the community garden, and these darn kids don't want to hole up in the dark basement, which is blissfully free from most allergens.

Yesterday I figured that if I had to be out in hell then I'd best be as comfy as possible, so I bought me one of these:

An anti-gravity chair from Canadian Tire. It is the bomb dot com. I love it. My kids call it my "favourite chair" because I love it so much. It's very easy to move back and forth from upright to reclining with just a shift of your body.

Last night, as I was propped up on my couch, trying to breathe properly without one side of my face stopping up like an old faucet, I considered bringing this chair into my living room to sleep in it.

Elizabeth Gilbert on Creative Genius.

Writers much watch this video.



"Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk."

I really loved watching this talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, she of the Eat, Pray, Love fame.

She talks about "genius" and how our society has moved from "having" genius to "being" genius and the problems that can occur because of this. As a Christian, I really liked her take on the "genius" being "on loan" to us. It's not that "I" am the smartypants, it's that something smart was created through something I did.

She's currently getting ready to publish her second book. Could you imagine writing the follow up book to Eat, Pray, Love?

What do you think about creative genius? Do you think that some people are more creative than others or do you think that creativity flows through a person instead of from a person?

What can you do to increase your creativity?

Interview: Christina Katz

Today I'm featuring a Guest Post by author Christina Katz. I have been inspired and encouraged by Christina's writing for many years now and love her writing! So enjoy...


Get Known Before the Book Deal, Use Your Personal Strengths to Grow an Author Platform



Bio:

Christina Katz is the author of Get Known Before the Book Deal, Use Your Personal Strengths to Grow an Author Platform (Writer’s Digest Books). She started her platform “for fun” seven years ago and ended up on “Good Morning America.” Christina teaches e-courses on platform development and writing nonfiction for publication. Her students are published in national magazines and land agents and book deals. Christina has been encouraging reluctant platform builders via her e-zines for five years, has written hundreds of articles for national, regional, and online publications, and is a monthly columnist for the Willamette Writer. A popular speaker at writing conferences, writing programs, libraries, and bookstores, she hosts the Northwest Author Series in Wilsonville, Oregon. She is also the author of Writer Mama, How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids (Writer’s Digest Books).



Q: What is a platform?

CK: Long story short: Your platform communicates your expertise to others, and it works all the time so you don’t have to. Your platform includes your Web presence, any public speaking you do, the classes you teach, the media contacts you’ve established, the articles you’ve published, and any other means you currently have for making your name and your future books known to a viable readership. If others already recognize your expertise on a given topic or for a specific audience or both, then that is your platform.

A platform-strong writer is a writer with influence. Get Known explains in plain English, without buzzwords, how any writer can stand out from the crowd of other writers and get the book deal. The book clears an easy-to-follow path through a formerly confusing forest of ideas so any writer can do the necessary platform development they need to do.



Q: Why is platform development important for writers today?

CK: Learning about and working on a solid platform plan gives writers an edge. Agents and editors have known this for years and have been looking for platform-strong writers and getting them book deals. But from the writer’s point-of-view, there has not been enough information on platform development to help unprepared writers put their best platform forward.

Now suddenly, there is a flood of information on platform, not all necessarily comprehensive, useful or well organized for folks who don’t have a platform yet. Writers can promote themselves in a gradual, grounded manner without feeling like they are selling out. I do it, I teach other writers to do it, I write about it on an ongoing basis, and I encourage all writers to heed the trend. And hopefully, I communicate how in a practical, step-by-step manner that can serve any writer. Because ultimately, before you actively begin promoting yourself, platform development is an inside job requiring concentration, thoughtfulness and a consideration of personal values.



Q: How did you come to write Get Known Before the Book Deal?

CK: I already had a lot of momentum going when I got the deal for a very specific audience. I wrote a column on the topic for the Willamette Writer’s newsletter. Then I started speaking on platform. When I gave my presentation, “Get Known Before the Book Deal,” at the Writer’s Digest/BEA Writer’s Conference in May 2007, Phil Sexton, one of my publisher’s sales guys, saw it and suggested making the concept into a book. Coincidentally, I was trying to come up with an idea for my second book at that time and had just struck out with what I thought were my three best ideas. My editor, Jane Friedman agreed with Phil. That was two votes from people sitting on the pub board. They converted the others with the help of my proposal, and Get Known got the green light.



Q: Why was a book on platform development needed?

CK: Writers often underestimate how important platform is and they often don’t leverage the platform they already have enough. At every conference I presented, I took polls and found that about 50 percent of attendees expressed a desire for a clearer understanding of platform. Some were completely in the dark about it, even though they were attending a conference in hopes of landing a book deal. Since book deals are granted based largely on the impressiveness of a writer’s platform, I noticed a communication gap that needed to be addressed.

My intention was that Get Known would be the book every writer would want to read before attending a writer’s conference, and that it would increase any writer’s chances of landing a book deal whether they pitched in-person or by query. As I wrote the book, I saw online how this type of information was being offered as “insider secrets” at outrageous prices. No one should have to pay thousands of dollars for the information they can find in my book for the price of a paperback! Seriously. You can even ask your library to order it and read it for free.



Q: What is the key idea behind Get Known Before the Book Deal?

CK: Getting known doesn’t take a lot of money, but it does take an in-depth understanding of platform, and then the investment of time, skills and consistent effort to build one. Marketing experience and technological expertise are also not necessary. I show how to avoid the biggest time and money-waster, which is not understanding who your platform is for and why – and hopefully save writers from the confusion and inertia that can result from either information overload or not taking the big picture into account before they jump into writing for traditional publication.


Often writers with weak platforms are over-confident that they can impress agents and editors, while others with decent platforms are under-confident or aren’t stressing their platform-strength enough. Writers have to wear so many hats these days, we can use all the help we can get. Platform development is a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Anyone can do it, but most don’t or won’t because they either don’t understand what is being asked for, or they haven’t overcome their own resistance to the idea. Get Known offers a concrete plan that can help any writer make gains in the rapidly changing and increasingly competitive publishing landscape.



Q: What is the structure of the book and why did you choose it?

CK: Writer Mama was written in small, easy-to-digest chunks so busy new moms could stick it in a diaper bag and read it in the nooks and crannies of the day. Get Known is a bit more prosaic, especially in the early chapters. Most of the platform books already out there were only for authors, not writers or aspiring authors. To make platform evolution easy to comprehend, I had to dial the concepts back to the beginning and talk about what it’s like to try and find your place in the world as an author way before you’ve signed a contract, even before you’ve written a book proposal. No one had done that before in a book for writers. I felt writers needed a context in which to chart a course towards platform development that would not be completely overwhelming.


Introducing platform concepts to writers gives them the key information they need to succeed at pitching an agent either via query or in-person, making this a good book for a writer to read before writing a book proposal. Get Known has three sections: section one is mostly stories and cautionary tales, section two has a lot of to-do lists any writer should be able to use, and section three is how to articulate your platform clearly and concisely so you won’t waste a single minute wondering if you are on the right track.


Q: At the front of Get Known, you discuss four phases of the authoring process. What are they?

CK: First comes the platform development and building phase. Second comes the book proposal development phase (or if you are writing fiction, the book-writing phase). Third, comes the actual writing of the book (for fiction writers this is likely the re-writing of the book). And finally, once the book is published, comes the book marketing and promoting phase.


Many first-time authors scramble once they get a book deal if they haven’t done a thorough job on the platform development phase. Writers who already have a platform have influence with a fan base, and they can leverage that influence no matter what kind of book they write. Writing a book is a lot easier if you are not struggling to find readers for the book at the same time. Again, agents and editors have known this for a long time.



Q: What are some common platform mistakes writers make?

CK: Here are a few:

• They don’t spend time clarifying who they are to others.
• They don’t zoom in specifically on what they offer.
• They confuse socializing with platform development.
• They think about themselves too much and their audience not enough.
• They don’t precisely articulate all they offer so others get it immediately.
• They don’t create a plan before they jump online.
• They undervalue the platform they already have.
• They are overconfident and think they have a solid platform when they have only made a beginning.
• They become exhausted from trying to figure out platform as they go.
• They pay for “insider secrets” instead of trusting their own instincts.
• They blog like crazy for six months and then look at their bank accounts and abandon the process as going nowhere.
  

I’ll stop there. Suffice it to say that many writers promise publishers they have the ability to make readers seek out and purchase their book. But when it comes time to demonstrate this ability, they can’t deliver.


My mission is to empower writers to be 100 percent responsible for their writing career success and stop looking to others to do their promotional work for them. Get Known shows writers of every stripe how to become the writer who can not only land a book deal, but also influence future readers to plunk down ten or twenty bucks to purchase their book. It all starts with a little preparation and planning. The rest unfolds from there.


Q: Couldn’t any author have written this book? Why you?

CK: I have built a career over the past decade empowering writers. I’ve developed and built my own platform as a writing-for-traditional-publication specialist, and I’ve worked with others as a writing and platform-development instructor. Many of the people I’ve been working with are landing book deals and while the other hundred-or-so writers I work with a year are developing their skills, I notice patterns of behavior—what leads to success, where writers get stuck, and how I can be helpful in these rapidly changing times in the industry.


I’ve witnessed too many writers, who were off to a great start, hopping online and quickly becoming very lost. I started to write about platform in Writer Mama, How To Raise A Writing Career Alongside Your Kids, but I quickly noticed that more details on platform development were desperately needed. My platform is based on helping others. I have a vested interest in seeing the people I work with—and those who read my book—succeed. Writers are my tribe.

Thanks Christina! (Cross-posted at MamaNeedsABookContract.com)

It's Good To Be Bad

Great video from CNN that features Her Bad Mother. (Who is from Toronto!)

They mentioned some things she'd blogged about, but of course they only chose the ones that would be MOST controversial. I went to find The Whole Story and here's a paragraph from her site:

I have left my children alone in the bathtub. I have spanked my daughter. I have turned my back on my crying son. I have had intrusive thoughts. I drink. I curse. I have put my own needs first. I have thought that I love my husband more than my children. I have had moments of resenting my children. I have thought that motherhood is boring. I document all of these things and lay them bare for the world to see. I have been called an exploitative mother. I have wondered whether that might be true.

I get what she's saying. I really, really do. Just about every mom I know knows a Super Mom. A person who not only Does It All, she knows it. She knows that she's doing a better job than you and she's not afraid to mention just one more thing that you are doing that she isn't.

But it's in a subtle way, like "the other day, I found the perfect glue stick in the craft section at Superstore." And she knows that you didn't even know there WAS a craft section at superstore.

I'm far from innocent here. I wonder if there's a mom out there thinking these things about me. When M first started school, one mom said she thought I was the "mean mom". I had a kindergartener and a baby who was just a few weeks old... I showed up in my big Dodge truck (with the Hemi, sigh, I miss her.) and climbed out and walked M in and then walked out. Apparently when I'm sleep deprived and working on a book, I look "mean". No shock there.

Thankfully this mom and I are now fast friends and she could tell me this. I now hang it over her head mercilessly everytime we gather to guzzle some wine.

I sometimes hold things back because I don't want to share all the stuff that I do. I know I'm over-committed:

• Chairpeson of PTA/School council
• director with community association & communications committee chairperson
• board member of my MLA's riding association
  
• Chairperson of PWAC Chapter in my city & gov't action committee member
• Beaver leader (thank goodness that's over!)
• writer/author (book comes out in less than 6 weeks!!)
• full-time sales manager & team leader
  

This means that I have no less than 4 monthly meetings to attend and sometimes one meeting a week for M. And I haven't started anything with E (though riding appears to be something she might like!)

What it comes down to, is that there are moms I know who are handling things MUCH more difficult than I have on my plate. Health concerns, children with cancer, divorce, money problems.

What do I have? A great system of family support. Encouragement. Love. With a handful of ambition and a desire to DO STUFF. And there's so much stuff to do! I'd love to start going back to school part-time, volunteering at school more often, writing more, doing more team building at work, speaking more, presenting more.... there are awesome causes out there: early literacy, anti-bullying, city issues... I know I can't do everything, but there's so much to do.

Do other moms see me as a Super Mom because of those things above? The problem is that very few things in that list have anything to do with parenting.

When it comes to parenting I'm as good/bad as the rest. I've yelled at my kids, I've said "shut up", I've had a glass of wine too many when they are asleep, I've left them at childcare later than normal so I could have a coffee alone for a few minutes, I've let them watch too much TV, I've left them in the car while I ran into 7-11 (they could still see me, I could see them!) and I've been less than patient.

But I've also devoted hours each week to working with and for my son, to advocating for his educational needs, to reading about ADD so I can help the school, to learning about who he is so I can help him, to playing referee in school yard squabbles, to talking to him about all his childhood issues. I've read hundreds and hundreds of books to my kids, put a high value on reading, kicked them outside on good days, taken days off work to take them to the zoo, I'm the one who stays home when they are sick.

So what's the judgment? Even if it sways one way or another, it is rarely as harsh a judgment as in my own mind. It's almost as though one can never be good enough.

That's one of the reasons I love this quiz, Are You a Good Mom or Bad Mom, because it really speaks the truth.

Equine Bankruptcy

Today was E.'s first pony ride. My best friend has bought a pony for her kids (since we go waaay back to the days when we were young, flexible and wild cowgirls) and we took him for a test-ride today. He is the most awesome pony.

This first photo was of E when she first got on. Something was wrong. She was not a happy cowgirl. We walked around, I told her how to guide him. She continued to pout.


Then I realized what the problem was - we were walking. She is the "go fast" type of cowgirl. So off we went. This required jogging on my part, in arena dirt, which is not easy!


Below is one of my favourite pictures because I can remember exactly what this felt like, to be going fast enough that it makes you giggle.


As one of my friends commented.... I sense equine bankruptcy in my future.

Stop. Go. Stop. Go. SLOW

Ever have the feeling like the word is not going slow down any time soon? At my full time job we work at a hectic pace, always feeling a little bit panicked. (Or, maybe that's just me!)

My writing continues to grow, I'm getting more opportunities and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel... it's less than 6 weeks until my first book comes out. But I feel like life is moving too fast. Almost like I'm speeding around a racetrack, BlackBerry in hand and I know a really good email has just come through and I want to read it, but I don't want to stop driving.

Um, yeah, not like that never happens in real life, right?

Sidebar: sometimes I KNOW a really good email has come through.... or *gasp* an important BlackBerry Messenger Message.... and it is actually REALLY HARD for me to NOT try read it. But I don't. I don't want to be THAT IDIOT who crashed her vehicle while reading a text message.

After coming home from the PWAC Writer's Conference, where I didn't learn whether it's writer's or writers', I have had a great idea for a book, but I know it needs more time to germinate. Yet, my brain doesn't seem to slow down enough to germinate.

So I've done this: I've joined the community garden and I have a plot to tend to now. I'm looking forward to hanging out in the sunshine with my friends in the garden. That feels.... slow. These days, I look for things that are slow. :)

Sometimes it's Ok to Procrastinate

Hey, head over to Jo Knowles blog and read about how it's OK TO PROCRASTINATE sometimes. There is a fine line between my productive procrastination and lazy procrastination. I know my writing process starts with STOPPING and letting the idea simmer in my brain. But when I find myself blog surfing... I know I am dangerously in the lazy procrastinating territory.

Ignoring the Sun

Of course the weekend that I'm to finish the edits on RR, the sun is out there shining for all she is worth. The kids do not want to stay inside and it would be mean to make them.... yet I'm stuck in here. Editing editing editing. Truthfully I could probably be done. But the biggest task left is going through the text and referencing forward and back.

Because the subject matter is kind of big. It was supposed to be 50K and it's closer to 65K. One of those issues when you sell your first book and you don't have a clue how to guesstimate the word count.

I'm watching Coronation Street (shut up, it's cool and so am I) and one character is obsessed with his manuscript. He's stopped shaving, he's drinking, he is snappy to his family.... yeah, not familiar at all. Ok, at least I'm not drinking. And I did shave my legs. So, wait, all that leaves is "snappy to family". Yeah, that fits.

Be Ye Not Afraid

Recently I attended the AGM of my MP (Member of Parliament for my American friends...). Well, technically his riding association, but he was there to speak and I was fortunate enough to get to ask him a question. (I asked about Canada's archaic libel laws and whether there were going to be any changes... it was a moot point I suppose since the gov't doesn't change laws, but still... I want my gov't to know that writers are being hamstrung here in Canada by "libel chill")

Afterwards I approached him and asked some further questions. I explained that I had actually backed off of political writing because of the threat of libel. Maybe that implies that I was some super-politico-powerhouse (which I was not) but that's not really the point... the point is that in Canada, anyone can sue anyone else for libel and it onus is on the PERSON BEING SUED to defend themselves.

Back-ass-wards.

Most writers in Canada have heard about Ezra Levant and his fight against libel lawsuits and being dragged into a kangaroo court where he spent millions defending his right to publish "the Danish cartoons".

I realized that it wasn't about what I wrote, it was about someone with a bad case of The Crazies taking offense. At times we seem like a country about to put "the right to NOT be offended" in our charter. But as I spoke with my MP, he encouraged me to keep writing, keep voicing opinions. He was right that there had been recent court wins that defended free speech (an american term, not Canadian) so I should not be afraid. This is true, but still, I'm no Michelle Malkin, I struggle with concerns about whether voicing an opinion in the overpopulated political blogosphere really matters as much as my actions in real life.

Winning on Twitter

I love being on Twitter, it's an eclectic, wild, fascinating place where you can find just about ANYTHING.

I happened to be tweeting tonight and saw a quick little contest... "RT @TwilightEarth: Wanna win Disney's DVD "Earth" (when it comes our?) Be the the 31st person RT this. DVD to our 10,000th Follower too!"

So I re-tweeted, and won!

The great thing is that Twilight Earth is a site I hadn't previously been familiar with. It's a site dedicated to "saving the environment through shared news, discussion, advocacy and activism". JUST the kind of site I need to find when I'm getting ready to start the Green Guide for Horse Owners and Riders blog!

Let's test that theory...

So yesterday I posted all about optimism.

Today? Yeah, today tested that theory like double mocha chip ice cream tests my willpower. It was the trifecta of trouble. A day that makes you want to scream What The F.... fudge.

Work? Sideways accounts.
Kids? Worst behaviour in a long time.
Writing? Way behind.
Family? Ok, not so bad... hubby picked up some slack.

I was at my wit's end. I even called a prayer line, a really great one Crossroads Ministry has a 24-hour prayer line. A very nice lady read my Psalms 121:

¹ I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

It helped, a lot. And it brought something home for me. Sometimes optimism isn't enough. Sometimes we have to surrender completely. The other day I read an essay by Max Lucado about how we don't have any control or authority over the powers of evil. That kind of took me by surprise because all these years I've been all 'get the behind me Satan' in my rough patches.

Oh no, we don't have authority at all.... God does. Our job is basically to draw closer to Him and THEN evil will flee. Kind of like a kid running closer to her parent and the bully thinking "yeah, I can't take that big one". We are told we have the power and authority to RESIST. Just not the

So that's what I tried today. I have tried willing myself to perform better as a mother, I've tried willing the evil away, I've tried all except surrendering, throwing my hands up and saying "I can't".

Today I tried. Today it worked. Even my husband complimented me on how I handled things. It was the hardest thing I've done in a long time, NOT reacting. But I did it. I hope next time is just a little bit easier. My inner optimist hopes it will be.

Optimism

Just finished watching a documentary with Michael J Fox and his take on optimism. It was quite inspiring because he's simply an uplifting, beautiful person. I'm sure he has his dark moments, but overall, this is a guy who has taken what many might see as a death sentence and turn it into something to work towards.

(I recently purchased his book, Always Looking Up, but I haven't had the chance to read it just yet.)

In the documentary, they spoke about Bhutan, a country that focuses quite a bit of energy on their Gross National Happiness. While it has a lot to do with Buddhist values, I can still appreciate the value of choosing happiness and optimism above the alternative. I don't know if I'm a pessimist or optimist, I am hopeful, but at the same time, I always need to know what the Worst Possible Outcome is so that I can be prepared.

But it did get me thinking about the choices we make in our life and how they might define if we are optimists or pessimists.

Take freelance writers. We work at a career that is not guaranteed to leave us rolling in the dough. Quite contrary... most freelancers are earning below the poverty line in North America. But we still do it.

Or look at the 36,000 jobs that were added to the Canadian economy last month. A pessimist might say "oh yeah, but they were self employed jobs..." an optimist might say "these people choose to go start their own businesses rather than sit on social assistance".

I think that it might be our choices in life that reveal how we think. Do you keep writing query letters despite the rejections? Do we keep pitching book proposals despite the lack of response? Do we push the limits of what we can do, trusting that we will have the resources to finish what we start?

(x-posted at Mama Needs A Book Contract)

My own brand of crazy...

The other day my husband and I were having a "discussion" about my writing. Normally I don't post anything about our "discussions". (If you're reading those air quotes correctly, you'll know I mean "argument".)

He says I'm a bear to live with when I'm on deadline. I say that they only time I can convince him to watch the kids so I can write is when I'm on deadline. When the deadline is farther away (wait... further?) there's no NEED to write. Just the want. And we don't ask our husbands to watch the kids so we can go off and do something we want. Right? Right?

Maybe it's just me.

This was a tough argument because he felt that writing has an "emotional withdrawal" from our family bank account with less "emotional deposits".

And this is because the emotional deposit goes only into MY emotional bank, he says. I tried the "when mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy" bit. And there's some truth to that, I am happier when I'm more fulfilled. But how much does the family need to give for my happiness?

But wait, how much are they actually giving?

Yes, I'm a bear when I'm on deadline and I'm insistent upon getting time to write whether it's downstairs in our basement, out at a coffee shop.... wherever. Is me not being there THAT much of a drain?

He says "the woman's traditional role is to nurture".

After I took off my corset and burned my bra, I asked him what the traditional man's role is... and why *I* was doing that too. You know, out earning money in the workforce.

No answer.

I love winning "discussions".

What are your thoughts?

(Cross posted at MamaNeedsABookContract.com)

Everything's Amazing. Nobody's Happy.

This is a great clip about how SPOILED we are in this generation.

Things I'm Sad About

My Starbucks has closed. It was located in my Chapters store. The one I have gone to for ten years. I'm sad, I loved Julio - my favourite coffeemaker who used to work at my favourite 7-11 before making that career jump to the Big Store. And despite the fact that I love that Chapters and know the manager, I'm considering changing stores because I am so First-World-Self-Absorbed that I can't walk around the book store without a Venti Soy Tazo Chai in my hand.

CBC Sunday is shutting down. I admit to not being a very big CBC fan, but I did love CBC Sunday. (For my 'merican friends, CBC is our public broadcasting company) Mostly because they cover topics I'm not interested in - in such an interesting way that I can't help but watch.

The fact that everywhere I turn there are people who are hurting... lately every other blog I click onto has a sick child, or they know someone whose child is sick or who has even died. It's horrible. I try my best to donate a few dollars here and there, but mostly I can just pray and be sad.

Book Review: Superparenting for ADD

After a psychologist told us that M had ADD, I struggled greatly. In fact, I still do. It's almost as though I'm split right through the middle. One half saying "yes, this makes sense" and the other half saying "no, he's just a boy, this is just the way he is". It wasn't until I picked up this book that I realized both could be correct.

The book had me from the jacket cover description, which left me in tears in the bookstore aisle. It spoke about "unconditional love", "viewing the mirror traits", "the cycle of excellence" and "identifying and tapping the source". I have long known that when a child is born, they are born to their parents... I feel that God gives us the children we are meant to have, and I have always felt that I was meant to be M's mother.

In parenting him I've learned about myself. Even reading the "problems" with his ADD I see myself and it is now so easy to see the mirror traits.

Stubbornness = Persistence
Impulsiveness = Creativity
Intrusiveness = Eagerness

Within the covers of this book I learned about the three core symptoms of ADD: distractibility, impulsivity, restlessness or hyperactivity. M isn't hyperactive, his version is the "inattentive" type of ADD or ADHD. He has what the author calls "a Ferrari brain with bicycle brakes" and I've used that description to talk to M about his ADD gift.

Because that's what the authors - Edward Hallowell, MD & Peter Jensen MD - see ADD as being. It's the way his brain works and it's not "bad", "wrong" or in need or "fixing". Now at this point I expect some parents to say "yeah, but my son/daughter had issues much bigger than your son" and that's going to be true because there is no ONE way to have ADD. That's the point. That's why it takes "superparenting".

The book is overwhelmingly positive. From encouraging parents to "always listen for the song your child is trying to sing" to asking them to finish the book with a "cheer and a smile". The authors don't come across as patronizing, but supportive and caring.

Dr. Hallowell himself has ADD, as do two of his children. Dr Jensen is a world renowned child psychologist. Together they have written a book that is like a light to parents who to find their role as parents of children with ADD.

One of the best things I found in the book was the Kolbe Y Index that was created by Kathy Kolbe to determine what sort of learner your child is. M is still too young for that test, but I'm considering doing the "IF" test they offer.

I wish the psychologist had sent us home with this book. But then again, all he wanted to send us home with was instructions on where to get a prescription.

Teh new sleeping routine!1!

Every night. Every. Single. Night both of the children crawl into bed. Sometimes M brings his own blanket and pillow (he's seven. SEVEN). E on the other hand, sneaks in and wiggles between us. Most of the time I don't even notice until E is kicking me or attempting to stick her feet down the back of my pants for warmth.

The "family bed" was kosher for a while. I'm ok with the family bed as long as it works for everyone. It no longer works for me.

It's taken me a while to actually STOP FEELING GUILTY for kicking the kids out of bed. Because - obviously - it means I do not love them.

And let me admit to another one of those horrible parenting habits... E still has a bottle. Yes, she's 2 and a half. Yes, me, the crazy breastfeeder.... M was still nursing at this time but E weaned early (where early = 18 months). She also had a milk allergy early on, but now loves milk. She only gets one bottle at bed time.

And... (it gets worse) I still rock her to sleep. Yes, the great trifecta of crazy parenting. Bottle, rocking, co-sleeping.

Factor in potty training. Now I'm cutting back her milk so she can stay dry at night.

So, do I stop rocking her and cut out the milk at the same time? Do I cut out just the rocking, just the milk? Cold turkey?

Tonight I gave her the bottle, rocked her for one song and put her in bed. That was an hour ago and she's still up and down. I'm not a patient woman and this whole supernanny-walk-them-silently-back-to-bed routine is wearing thin.

I'm hoping that if she goes to sleep without being in my arms, she'll somehow stay sleeping longer. At least that's what the "experts" said would happen if I let her cry it out as a baby. Not that she's crying now... oh no, she's playing with stuffies, reading in the dark, asking for the potty so she can pee a teaspoon full (I swear, she's holding it in for more trips), needs tissue for a perfectly dry nose...

My main problem is in the middle of the night. My love of sleep and inherantly lazy nature means that I can hardly bring myself to get up and put her back to bed or deal with fussiness. It's always "fine, climb in, lie still."

But mama needs her sleep.

Being a Leader

In the paper this past week there was an article "Seven People a Leader Should Avoid". I'd given it a cursory glance but hadn't really read it. My main thought was "Hm". I'd given it about 0.7 seconds thought.

Until my husband walked by. Let's remember he's been practically dead for a week. Sleeping as many hours as he can, sick as all get out. I swear his version of strep must be worse than mine because it really knocks him on his butt. He simply cannot eat.

I hear an exclamation. A scoff. He asks me if I read it and I say no, not really.

"A leader never avoids people."

I try to say that I think the writer means that these are the people to avoid when creating your team, but Major Man is having none of it. You don't avoid people, he says, you manage them or you deal with them. Sometimes you fire them. But you don't avoid them.

This is the Army speaking, I know. I see nothing wrong with that. I have to admit, my leadership training has consisted mostly of reading the Art of War, asking my husband's advice and stocking up on books that might guide me. I stopped short of buying "Management for Dummies". Because I don't so much want to be a manager as a leader.

I don't often post about my job here because a) I don't want to get fired and b) it's not writing related. But Monday to Friday from 730 ish to 330 ish I'm a Team Leader of about 10 sales people. As much as I love writing and identify myself as a writer... I love my job. I don't love some of the administrivia, but I love being a Team Leader.

There are days I feel like I have everything under control and days where I can barely keep my chin above water. But when I think about it, Major Man is right. There are many personalities out there, many flaws (just like mine) and many opportunities for growth - and avoiding them is not an option. You can defer until tempers cool, you can give space, you can wait for things to calm down... but you can never avoid.

There was a time...

There was a time I thought I knew what kind of mother I'd be... and then I had M.

There was a time I thought I knew what my priorities were.... and then I had M.

There was a time I thought I knew how to be a parent.... and then I had M.

This weekend he learned how to ride his bike. It seemed like it would take him forever. He's seven and a half and we used to see 5 year olds riding around on their bikes and I'd think "He'll never learn! He'll be shunned! He won't get into the right college!!"

But I soon realized that with M the rules are clear: don't push.

No matter what the task - bike riding, skating, swimming, homework - you have to let him work at his own pace and encourage without pushing. Eventually he'll figure it out, but on HIS time.

Yesterday he was riding on a bicycle with training wheels. We looked out the window and he was holding the handlebars and standing on the middle bar (whatever that bar is between the handlebars and the seat!). I had already vowed not to suggest he take off the training wheels, so I suggested instead that he try the two-wheeler that we had in the shed.

He did. It took 5 minutes for him to figure it out.

There are days I feel a little guilty that E has a better mother simple because her brother has gone down this path before her.

No One Said It Would Be This Hard

Back when I was in school, life felt really hard. There was pressure from parents, teachers, fellow students. Conform. Be creative. Do what I say. Study hard. Pay attention. Add in a cup of divorce and a pinch of bullying and you have your sterotypical crappy school years.

But.

I loved school. I loved the learning and the teachers and finding out things I was good at. I still keep in touch with at least two teachers. (Grade Two and Grade Ten teachers)

But now that I'm a mom, I see this whole other side and it's HARD. It took me a year or more to learn the names of the other moms. My daughter was two weeks old when her brother started school so I couldn't volunteer as much as the rest of them. Then I went back to work and had even less time.

Just this year I started on the PTA/School Council and I am getting to know a lot of other moms. And they are all great. I've missed a few meetings and I feel bad about that, but getting to know the other moms has been great. As well as getting to know the teachers a bit better.

Yet still. There's politics on and off the playground. Which teachers are doing great, which aren't. Who is the best teacher to get next year and who to try avoid. Conflicts that I know are THERE, without actually knowing what they are about <- that's a big one. I'm heavy on the intuition and I can usually tell when I walk in a room who likes who, who doesn't like who... and sometimes that's helpful. But sometimes I feel the stress and strain and there is nothing I can do about it.

I want to be a peacemaker. I want people to get along and I do believe that every parent, volunteer, teacher, administrator, etc... is in this to help the kids. None of us would have chosen to be together if it weren't for our children.

But it's so .... emotional.

Something happens in a classroom or on the playground or after school and feelings get hurt or egos get bruised. And I'm just talking about adults here. Nevermind the underlying pulse of "your kid doesn't like my kid" that can happen occasionally.

I'm never sure where I fit in. I like my child's teacher a lot, but when I hear another parent say "none of the kids in that class are happy", I want to scream. Because no one can make a blanket statement like that and it's SO frustrating to hear. I don't have to be a teacher to know that every classroom is going to have kids that click with the teacher and kids that don't. Parents are going to click with one parent and not with others. Administrators are going to rub some people the wrong way and others not at all. Kids are going to love each other one day and hate each other the next.

But we have to remember that despite the fact that we are all the main characters in our own stories... when it comes to school, we are the supporting actors. It's the KIDS who are the main characters. Each one of them starring in their own show with us all behind them. Can we stay focused on that?

I struggle because I want to do the best I can for my son. What does that mean? Does it mean I have to be on the PTA or Council? Does this have to be my experience? I want to help out and do my part for all the kids... but there are days when I forget that I'm doing something for my son. There's a fundraising letter or an event or a topic of discussion and we start talking about fiduciary duty and casino funds and AGMs and budgets, and I think "where do the kids fit in here?"

I loved school. I thought it was going to be like that. That I'd be loving it. I didn't think it would be this hard.

Amazon Deleting Reviews Online

Recently, I was forwarded an email from Cheryl Kaye Tardiff, Author and Book Marketing Coach. It seems that she started to notice some of her reviews were being deleted. Not just ones for her books, but reviews for other books.

I am sending this to ALL writing associations I belong to because I really want you to have this information before Amazon deletes all your reviews.

A week ago I found that all 85 of the reviews I've written for other books had been deleted. It has been a very difficult and stressful week dealing with Amazon. They are not very accessible and I was given at least 3 different reasons for why my reviews had been deleted. After numerous emails, this is what it's come down to:

Their final ruling: "Please know that our participation guidelines don't allow customers to promote their own titles in their reviews."

If you sign your review with anything other than your name, your reviews could be deleted. If any of you are in the habit of signing your reviews with something like ".., author of Whale Song", which has been common practice for years, Amazon has deemed this as "inappropriate" and will be deleting them. It seems they're on a campaign to go through reviews posted. They recently made changes to the Amazon Connect program and all our blogs were temporarily gone too. Most are back up.

They also will delete your reviews if you have added the book link (that they supply) and directed it to your own book title's Amazon page. Many authors have used that in their signature line. It can lead to deleteion and suspension, according to Amazon's latest email.

I argued the fact that thousands of authors sign their reviews like this, and that it's common practice in our inductry. I was told by my last publisher to sign my reviews like this; he even wanted us to include the ISBN, which I only did a couple of times then stopped. It made no difference to Amazon that this is what my publisher wanted me to do; they aren't accepting signatures with titles.

Amazon is starting to take note of such practices and you'll get no notice; they'll just pull all the reviews you have written. That's what they did with me, even though many of my older reviews were signed with just my name.

So to clarify, according to Amazon, when posting a review, you are not allowed to have a signature of anything more than your name, and NO links to or mention of your books whatsoever in the review or sig line. I am giving you the heads-up now so you can go in and edit your reviews if you choose. That's what I'd do, to be honest, because fighting with Amazon is not easy. There is no one who will talk to you by phone, and waiting for their response is not easy. This rule also applies to any comments you leave on a book review. Amazon does not want authors to mention their own books anywhere on the reviewpages.

I haven't heard from Amazon.ca yet, but I expect this will be funneled over to all the Amazons, so I'll be working on editing my reviews there next week.

Please forward this on to all authors you know and any writing organizations or associations you belong to.

Thanks for letting us know, Cheryl! By the way, you can find out more about her latest book, Whale Song, over at her web site!

Pretty Things

Sorry that my photos are substandard, they don't adequately show the beauty of these pieces. One of the fellow moms from school makes these and had a jewelry party at her home last night. I indulged.

So there ya go...

So the other day I had that yearly physical that we all dread. I actually think it's a bit of a blessing to be able to say "nope, no health concerns" because you can never be sure about when something might pop up and change your life.

Now I know why I am so mellow in a crisis (like my daughter knocking herself out, the economy, cheques - not mine! - bouncing... etc...). I like to say "all is well with my soul" because, honestly?, you can't worry and pray at the same time.

But also, according to Ms Dr, I have low blood pressure and a low heart rate. Something, she says, she expects with really "fit" people.

Implying, um, that I'm not? Haha... I'm definitely not.

However, my question is this... does low blood pressure and a low heart rate mean something for my health? I know I should have asked the doctor, but it didn't cross my mind at the time.

Raising Her

This past Friday we had the Beaver Sleepover where 15 or so kids (and most of their parents) slept over at the local community centre. It was quite fun (for the most part) until the kids decided that sleeping was NOT going to happen and their respective adult guardians were either asleep or pointedly ignoring their lovelies traipsing around the room. I'm going for the latter.

A few of the moms have boys only and they sign and say how lucky I am to be raising a boy and a girl. "Oh you're so lucky... to have a GIRL." They cast long looks over to their boys, rough-housing and making 'spisht' noises with spittle flying. Pow! Zap! Zing!

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE raising my daughter. Just as much as I love raising my son. I can't believe how similar and how different they are. How unique. Gee, almost like they are two different people.

After I'd had my first child, Army Boy, I used to marvel at the excellentness of my parenting. He was a good kid. Therefore, I was a good mother.

Then my daughter came along and Pow! Zap! Zing! I was pretty useless.

She's had her head glued twice, stitches once. She knocked her tooth backwards in her mouth and this past week she actually knocked herself out. She's two and a half, people. I should have known that it would go this way... when she was 3 months old she fell off the bed. I swore that would never happen again, except it did... three weeks later.



I've taken her in to get her head checked out and the doctor said all the accidents were just a product of her walking early and having an older sibling to keep up with.

But the grey-hair inducing accidents aside, raising E is like raising myself. My mother calls her "payback". She's stubborn (stick-to-it-ive-ness), loud (extroverted), demanding (sure of what she wants) and never stops moving (energetic). Sometimes Major Man just looks at the two of us and shakes his head. "Apple... Tree."

Which of course means she's going to grow up to be most awesome. :)

She loves books, running around naked, refuses to say sorry when she's in time out, can stare a hole in your forehead when she's mad, believes completely that you WILL do what she wants and never goes down without a fight. She's also tough as nails physically and soft and mushy inside.

When the other moms look at me and tell me how lucky I am I know they are thinking pink bows and princesses. Yeah, I got your princess right here.

My Favourite Colour

... is pink Camo.

Last weekend I was at an event for the Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters and I bid on a gorgeous pink camo down jacket. Now, many may not think that "gorgeous" and "camo" don't ever go in the same sentence. (I submit that those who say that may not have my Army-Guy crush either.)

But as I was cruising OFAH's web site, I saw that it's included in their online Auction for Wildlife. You can see the complete auction here.

A person-who-shall-not-be-named recently made a snide comment about how "anglers and hunters" could be conservationists, because, you know, they hunt and fish and kill things. After I picked my head up from my keyboard (appalling ignorance gives me a headache) I asked him how he thought that a hundred thousand hunters and fishermen could continue to hunt and fish every year and still leave us with any animals left at all.

Fun with the RCMP

So here I am in Mississauga, at a "work thing". Actually, the company I work for was receiving an award and it was to be presented by none other than the Prime Minister of Canada. My boss was the one actually receiving the award and despite my deep, abiding love for the PM, it was really my boss who started the account I now own that resulted in this award.

But, I did have fun, got my hair done, had a pretty dress on and was shoe throwing distance from the PM. He did the keynote and then zipped out of there... my fellow seatmate and I were most intrigued by his bodyguards.

No, no, not in that way. (Though, admittedly, they were quite good looking.) But in the way they had the Serious Mad Face on and constantly scanned the crowd for do-no-gooders. We didn't know whether they were CSIS, RCMP or some other group. (We were smart enough to know they weren't the 'secret service'.)

After the awards and the very yummy dinner my seatmates and I headed to the pub. Well, who should walk in but the bodyguards! Now, I can recognize an interesting opportunity with the best of them and who wouldn't want to talk to the PM's bodyguards?! I think my new friends were surprised when I jumped up and invited them over, but this is only because they don't know me.

We had some cosmos and there may have been a shot of tequila. Two of them had to work the next morning (taking the PM to church I think) and so they went to bed early and drank water. But the remaining two were a blast, talking about travel with the PM and the crazy guys they encounter and how they have to stay calm and let people have their space as long as they don't get in the PM's "bubble". They were all regular RCMP officers who applied for this special posting.

Recently some freelancers I know were talking about how soul-killing a full time job is, but it's opportunities like this that make me love it!

How I do it.

Every once in a awhile someone says "how do you do it". And I'm not going to brag... because I don't really "do" anything. But if you mean work full time and write... my answer is: naps.This is what we look like after a full day of work, daycare and school... well, for the boychild it would have been school if he hadn't been up until 2 am puking. He's feeling better now.

E can hardly take her eye off of Kung Fu Panda, which is how I get her to sit still (while sitting ON ME) while I take my catnap.

I'm not stupid enough to nap while the children are in another room. That's crazytalk.

Apologies All Around

I know, it's been a month. I have never taken a month off like this. Truthfully it's not a month "off" and over this month I've tried to start writing this post. Six times if I've tried once.

But my energy level has allowed for the odd tweet or Facebook post still. Perhaps my writing endurance has been affected by only being allowed 140 characters. :)

I've been writing quite a bit offline. I edit profiles for an online dating site, I have written and edited portions of my work's training manual, finished one round of edits on the 85K manuscript that's out this spring. Now I sit before a list that includes TWO large manuscript edits (one due tomorrow), more profiles and two articles.

I worry that I'm burning out. My passion for writing is waning. I'm still "a writer" but there's so much else in my cup right now that it all seems like a chore.

Part of the problem is that I don't know how to sit down and relax. Even when I appear to be relaxed, I am not. I'm either planning what I'm doing next or avoiding something with forced relaxation. ("No, I'm just lying here. I refuse to do anything. Nope, not moving. Maybe if I just pull these covers over my head.")

The weekends are the worst - it seems that when I'm at work I can get things done from moment to moment because there's a definite structure. Sales reports. Check customer accounts. Prepare sales flyers. Manage staff. (They are always good for a quick emergency or two a day.)

But on the weekends I feel like I'm 500 pounds and unable to move. I sit and stare out the window or I putter around, feeling exhausted by a task like taking the laundry downstairs. (It never manages to get folded.)

But, I'm off to church now. The only place that I do find some rest and relaxation. (It's just the 'getting ready with kids' part that takes up the energy.)

Doing Your Research

How do you research an article or a book? Do you research before or after you write the proposal? Do you know your 'stuff' inside and out?

With my second book, the one on Green Horsekeeping, I admit, I did not know the topic inside and out. I knew quite a bit, but during my research, I learned A LOT.

The first part of the book talks about the history of horses on the planet. This can be a tough subject to navigate when you're a creationist, believe you me. But being a "creationist" does not necessarily mean I don't believe in natural selection and some forms of evolution. I don't believe that there's one camp or the other and that you have to plant your flag in your chosen belief camp forever.

So I did some research. I'm curious, for those who believe in evolution, have you ever ACTUALLY READ Darwin's Origin of the Species? I mean cover to cover. You can download it here. It's a fascinating read and even starts off quite good. He references God in the early quotations and says, paraphrasing, that man should be as knowledgable about God's book as he is about God's works. I like that.

He also goes on to say in the very introduction that Origin of the Species is not a finished work. It's his abstract - his initial insights - and that the fullness of his work will take many years. In the introduction he states clearly that there are errors, that it's imperfect and that he has basicially no references to back up some of his statements. He doesn't go anywhere near human evolution except to say that we'll know more later as we learn... He was not an athiest, but more of an agnostic. He questioned God, as I believe we all do at many times in our lives. He saw God as a bit more of a programmer of laws than a creator.

Now Darwin's research has been discussed at great length for many years, it has evolved (har har) and people use the term Darwinism without really knowing who Darwin was and what his beliefs were. That's sad, because I think he was really on to something beautiful and complex and I think that if HE could have finished his work fully without the illnesses and hear problems, Darwinism would have meant something different from what it does today.

At the very least, it's helped me win a few arguments with my athiest friends and family members. :)

Now where was I... oh yes, doing your research. I think that now that we have Wikipedia and Google, we forget about the vastness of what came before. We forget to actually READ Origin of Species before we start referencing it. We think we know what it's about because we read the Coles Notes version in high school. Or skimmed it. We know that the people with the fish on the back of their cars are Christians and the people with the walking fish on the back of their cars, are not.

But I challenge you to go beyond. To not research by way of the wikis and the search engines. Actually read the books. Wade through their thick pages with their complex sentances and read what the writers before you actually said.

You can start with Origin of Species if you like. It really is fascinating!

(Crossposted at MamaNeedsABookContract.com)

Cattitude

My cats are kind of ... cat-like and weird. Their names are Ziggy and Zorro and they have pretty good lives when they aren't running from Army Toddler.

Except, the other night I was trying desperately to finish some edits and the kitten would NOT let me have any peace. He'd climb up and pat-pat-pat at the screen, following the typeing or the blinking cursor. I stopped him when claws were involved.

He has an amazing ability to get himself into situations above his pay grade. Witness photo on the right here where the kitten decides he wants to play inside my son's jacket. So much fun. Oh, look, there's a light at the end of this tunnel... oh, wait, now I'm stuck.

I could hear some swishing and movement behind me and when I looked back, he was just staring at the back of my head. "A little help here please?" Of course I offered help after I brought out the camera.

Your Uterus is Your Uterus... or is it?

We've all heard by now that a woman in California had 8 kids. She's apparently unemployed and she had 6 kids aready. Last week in my city a 60 year old woman gave birth to twins. Everyone is upset by both doctors because ethically they should not have a) implanted any thing in the 60 year old's uterus because she's "too old" and b) should have only implanted one (maaaybe two) into the other mother's uterus because she's unemployed.

But here's the thing. Many might know that I'm anti-abortion. As a Christian, I think life starts at conception. Or, to be more specific, I can't say it doesn't start at conception and I think that we're unable to tell when that's a small human life or not. I think we need to protect it.

Now let's have a little side bar here about terminology. The terms "pro life and pro choice" are often thrown around because the people who do not want abortions to occur want to insinuation that the pro-abortionists are "anti-life" and the people who are ok with abortions occuring want to insinuate that the anti-abortionist want to strip away all choices. I want to be really clear... I don't know what the answer is for the world. I do not like abortions, I think that we have no idea when life starts and to say that it's not life because it can't exist outside a uterus (a fetus' natural habitat) is like saying if you put a man on Mars and he dies then he's not human becuase he was supposed to stay in his natural habitat where he could live and breathe.

So anyway. My thesis statement today is that if you are pro-choice and you believe a woman has a right to an abortion, then I believe you cannot criticize either of these women for their choices.... because it was her uterus and she used it the way she wanted to.

But what about the babies? Yes, what about them? I think that it will probably be tough. Not nearly as tough as, say, being aborted.

What about the cost to society? Yes, the treatments for fertility probably cost society and so did taking care of the babies in a hospital after they were born. How much do you think abortions cost society each year? I can tell you. In Canada there are approximately 100,000 abortions each year. Each abortion costs about $1000. That's $100,000,000.

Now, I'm not saying I'm right... I'm open to being wrong, so please have a smidgen of compassion if I've offended you and offer a contradictory opinion, I do want to hear it.

But my question is this... why is it ok for a woman to have an abortion (in the quantity she chooses and whenver she wants) because it's her body (her uterus) and not ok for her to have kids in the quantity she chooses, whenever she wants? And question two... why are the doctor's in trouble? Why are they investigated for doing what both women wanted?

Side effects

I've found a side effect of doing one of those "25 things" lists is that you start remembering all the crazy little things from your childhood or young adulthood that you had long since forgotten. Memories beget memories I guess.

I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit. I think. I always thought that if I had a skill, then I'd just go DO that and I was certain someone would pay me. Now, that didn't mean I always had the courage to take risks, or the smarts to know what to do to make my business stay afloat. I am horrible at bookkeeping and accounting. And though there may be some mental block created when you say "I'm horrible at..." I think it's more that, well, I hate numbers. They didn't really do testing when I was a child, but I'm certain I have a math disability of some sort.

As a child I lived briefly in a small town called Bradwell. It actually didn't really qualify as a town, I think that the correct term is "hamlet". There were less than 150 people living there and everyone knew everyone. We lived in a little trailer that was across the street from my cousins (who had a larger house) and down the street from grandma and grandpa's big house. One day I decided to set up a shop.

I was selling rocks. I had some sort of shelf and upon it I placed my carefully selected rocks. I am not sure if I painted them or not, though I do recall some kind of painting that involved mud. But this was small town Saskatchewan and we had enough mud to go around.

Now, understand that no one drove their car through town. You drove out of town, you drove into town, but you didn't exactly cruise the dozen or so streets that made up the village. No one passed by.

So, as you guessed it, that little venture failed. Or I became bored of standing in the summer sun. Not exactly a "little girl sells lemonade and makes a million dollars" type of story, but it does have a purpose.

You can try and fail and try and fail and try and fail and find success - as long as you keep trying. I have a family member who once accused me of hopping from thing to thing, job to job, infatuation to infatuation and expecting my family to care about every little venture. Now, he was trying to be hurtful and to some extent it worked. But when I thought about it later, I realized that what he was accusing me of wasn't all that horrible.

Yep, I've tried many different jobs, lived in different places and been going in many different directions in my life. I've been a horse trainer, office girl, feedlot worker, feed truck driver, cook, bartender, waitress, day care provider, teacher, student, sales person, manager. And to be honest, I'm never really satisfied with what I'm doing because no matter what job title I've held, for the most part you could add "and writer" onto the end of it - that's always been the suffix of who I am.

But I'm not sure I'll ever JUST write full time because at the moment I am quite enjoying my job and all it's benefits - never mind that I adore the company and think there's more for me there. It offers me the ability to exercise my entrepreneurial muscle without a whole ton of risk, I get to be creative and write, and (let's face it) I have a job that let's me have some sense of responsibility. (read: I get to be in charge of my little corner)

And it took me a while to realize that sales is a part of who I am. My husband doesnt quite understand this as he despises sales and salespeople. But really, he just hates to be sold, which is quite different. Sales, to me, is simply providing for others what they need. Or meeting the needs of others.

Which is why I feel that being a writer - especially a freelance writer - is so much more about SALES than it is about actually writing. Because you can be a writer and not be a freelance writer. There are millions of writers in this world from the teenager writing poetry in her diary to the best selling author with forty books under her belt. But to be a writer who SELLS her work, you must.... sell.

Now, it really goes without saying that all writers must have a focus on improving their writing. Good writing will always sell if the writer puts the words on the market. How do I know this? Because even bad writing sells when it's put on the market. Witness the transactions occuring on sites like elance.com where yes, yes, yes, some writers have gotten their start. But the vast majority of transactions that occur there are low-paying work for bad writing. Yes, I said it, bad writing. Because the vast majority of writers who start there, are newbies who are trying to get a foothold in the market, who think they have to sell some rocks before they can move up to selling a mountain.

But if you have a mountain inside you? Then just start there and sell that.

Huh. I think I have another book to write...

Random Bits of Life

The other day I stopped by my bank and as I was heading back to my van, I looked into the car next to me. There was an older couple in the little red Vibe and between them, on the centre console was a cat, just happy as can be looking out the window. In the back, was a very large bulldog. How odd, I thought, to travel around with a bulldog and a cat. I've never taken a trip with a cat yet that didn't involve it velcro'd to my face or head in some fashion.

***

A young girl stopped by the house some weeks ago asking to see my son. She is probably about nine and my son is seven. She was wearing lipstick. Despite this, I still think she's a nice girl. My son seems to think she's ok as well. Her dad owns a nearby store and I had stopped in to pick something up yesterday. Normally this girl is in there but this night, her sister or cousin was there instead. As I climbed back into the van my son said "I knew that wasn't her. Taylor is much wider than that girl."

Ummmm. Not sure how to have that talk with him. Might start with "here's a tip: never, ever describe a girl in terms of width."

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25 Things You Don't Know About Me

I've avoided writing one of these... but I've been tagged several times now and my reluctance is being overshadowed by my guilt for not responding. Damn you fellow bloggers!

The reason I struggle is that I think I live my life fairly transparently. I'm a bit of an over-sharer to tell you the truth. I can always be counted on to say something that will result in at least one "oh no, she did NOT just say..."

I've been trying to curb that little habit.

So, off we go:

1. I've suntanned topless.
2. I've been kicked out of a country.
3. As a teenager I once got so drunk I peed the bed. "oh no, she did NOT just say..."
4. I've NEVER been that drunk again.
5. Except when Jim was pouring.
6. I do not have a drinking problem. Really. And I'm not bragging about being drunk either. I think stupidity can happen once a decade...
7. Six was kind of a cheater one, so is this. In keeping with this theme, I've never, ever cheated on a test.
8. I cannot stand to be late. For anything. Both my kids were born late. The little turds.
9. In the past week I've watched Transformers over ten times. I just like the movie and I have to have background noise, even when I'm sleeping and hacking on the couch.
10. There are days that I understand WHY someone could hit a child. It takes every ounce of effort to not smack one of mine.
11. Just after I wrote that, my daughter had a melt down. I did not smack her, don't worry.
12. I am a horrible housekeeper. I regularly have more laundry lying in front of the washing machine than I do in my closets. I think that's the only way I have room for all the clothes.
13. The only way I know to do things is by jumping in over my head.
14. I have two compression fractures in my back. Or had, I think they fuse or something. I don't have any pain.
15. I'm running my first 10k in March and I haven't been running in over a month. (see: jumps in over head)
16. I love writing and I hate writing, all at the same time. I love to hate or I hate to love. It makes me crazy and I can't NOT do it.
17. I did not cheat on my first boyfriend, but I wanted to. And that's why I broke up with him. And then I didn't do anything with anyone... I don't deal well with guilt.
18. My daughter is SO MUCH like me that I worry for her future. She's destined to make her life more difficult than it needs to be.
19. My second cousin, Keith, is very, very different from me. He's here on the left...
20. Many days I can go until 3 pm and only drink coffee.... it's not healthy at all and I'm trying to change that.
21. My biggest, most favourite "splurge" is an afternoon nap.
22. I suspect that I have ADHD-I. But then again, so does every other writing mother I think... I'm to afraid to get tested because I don't want to use it as an excuse. I just want to will myself to do better job at being organized and staying focused.
23. I think people that volunteer or give money to help animals are chickens. I think it's much more brave and compassionate to volunteer to help out the homeless or drug addicts or any other fallible human being. It's easy to love a puppy. Not so easy to hold the hand of a drug addict and say, "I care".
24. I can be very judgmental. I'm working on that.
25. I worry that I will end up alone and that all my friends and family will eventually leave me.

So, that's the list! Now... who to tag...

(On Facebook I did a second list, which I thought was much better.)

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I cry very easily. I cry when I’m happy, sad, frustrated, excited or angry. I cry every Sunday at Church because the music is always so beautiful.

2. I refuse to take the Lord's name in vain, but I will say the f-word when angry.

3. I think that the hardest job on the planet is being a GOOD MOTHER. You can be a mom with a uterus and a few too many shots of tequila, but to be a good mother is very, very hard and I’m never sure I’m actually doing it.

4. One of my biggest faults is that I’m convinced everyone else is happier than me, having more fun and doing more important things with their lives. I’ve always been afraid to be left behind.

5. I’m a huge procrastinator. I think it has something to do with part of my creative process as a writer, but that doesn’t explain why I fill the sink up with water and leave the dishes in there overnight. Procrastination makes me furious. I once bought a present for a friend and kept meaning to send it to her. And then she died. I can’t forgive myself for that.

6. I wish I were a kinder mother and person. Some of my employees nicknamed me The General. I’m also the disciplinarian at home.

7. I didn’t think I was a Type-A person until I said that to a friend and she laughed her butt off at me.

8. I have high expectations for people, but they are never as high as the ones I have for myself. I worry that I’ll accomplish something big and never be able to enjoy it. I think we should enjoy our successes.

9. I am inherently lazy. My biggest guilty pleasure is an afternoon nap. I would never finish anything without an external deadline.

10. Thank the good Lord that I have an internal editor because if I said have the things that were in my head … I’m sure I would be institutionalized.

11. I sort of cheated and wrote one of these already and then all my friends wrote theirs and I needed a second draft.

12. My parents used to live in a tent in the Northwest Territories. Or maybe the Yukon. I can’t remember (cause I wasn’t there).

13. I’ve lived in Canada, Barbados and Austria. But I’ve lived in Calgary, Alberta since 1988 and have lived in over 30 houses in this city alone. I finally bought a house last fall and I’m not moving for a good long time.

14. I almost joined the Army. I had applied for a job overseas and gone for an interview with the Armed Forces… I was 18 and couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do so I decided whichever job called me first would be the one I’d do. The job overseas called.

15. I met my husband while I was overseas because I got kicked out of the country I was working in (Austria) for not having a work visa. We went on a roadtrip to Italy and that’s where I met Randy. I loved him the moment I saw him.

16. Years later I read one of the letters I sent to him after I went back to work in Austria and I know why he ran screaming way.

17. I didn’t marry him until 9 years, another marriage and one child later. God Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts is our song.

18. I loved him for a long time and always wanted to be an Army Wife. And then when I married him (we eloped), he wasn’t in the army any more. Oh well, I’d take him over the army any day.

19. My mother calls my daughter “payback”. During the writing of these 25 things she has puked, thrown a temper tantrum, been sweet as an angel and now I’ve walked her back to her bed for the seventh time. Payback is a youknowhat, that’s for sure.

20. I think Obama is very attractive. I thought Clinton was a Pervy McPervyton the first moment I saw him. Canada has never had an attractive Prime Minister.

21. Of course, I’ve always found American men more attractive than Canadian ones. Canadian accents are never attractive.

22. My favorite movie of all time is Transformers. I cried in the theatre when they captured Bumblebee.

23. It’s been well over a year since I rode a horse and I’m afraid that I’ll never own one again.

24. I loved school. I would love to go back to school full-time. But I have no idea what I’d take. I’ve alternated between: veterinarian, war correspondent, journalist, photographer, nurse, doctor, teacher and politician. But the only thing I know how to do well is write.

25. I am absolutely addicted to buying books. I have close to 1000 and many I haven’t read yet.

Puppy Love

This is a cute little lovestory. I'm a sucker for cute little love stories!