Emily has been here for five days. As she is a second baby, the culture shock has not been as severe as with my son. I have an idea about what to expect and going about my day slightly sleep deprived is nothing very new.
And yet there's a different kind of change I'm noticing.
When I had my son, I wasn't really 'a writer'. Oh sure, I wrote, but I had no real deadlines. No one expected anything from me. I just wrote to write. Now I have editors, and agent and deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! And the last thing I want to do is write.
I want to lay on the couch with my son and daughter and discuss the softness of her hair. I want to smell her sweet breath and watch her as she sleeps. My son is the greatest help. He plays peek-a-boo with her and loves to stroke her hair. I allow myself the maxium amount of cuddle time with both of my children, more than my 'career' would like me to.
I just keep waiting for the pull of the keyboard and it's not happening.