A few weeks ago while watching a Christian program I heard the phrase "Break my heart with that which breaks Yours". I prayed that phrase, hoping that God would show me the things in my life that I was glossing over or ignoring. The pain of others. The saddness of others. The hurt in my own family. And He sure has.
Today I had to go in to talk to my son's teacher about an incident at school yesterday. It was no biggie really, he's has so many good days that we expected some kind of regression. Especially since his teacher has been away for a week and then my son had been sick for several days. He needed to get back into his routine...
Anyways. The teacher was out of the class for a while yesterday because she had to go down to the Children's Hospital to talk with a host of other experts about a child at the school who was being taken away from his family by Social Services. It really hit me... a child in my son's school was being taken away. This child had spent the last 8 weeks at the school at the Childrens's Hospital, and now that he or she has recovered from whatever abuse, Social Services needed to step in. And it broke my heart. I sat in the truck and cried.
How can these lives swirl around us and we have no idea? I look out at the playground and it's easy to see kids screaming, playing, running. But there are wars being waged. There are hearts being broken, children fighting their way to the top of the heap. Friendships made now may colour their lives forever. Lessons learned now will play out over and over for the rest of their lives.
A group of boys ran by, a trio followed by a straggler. The straggler met my eye and I was struck by what I saw there. He was at least Grade Five, older than my Kindergartener, but as he looked at me I saw the soft roundess of his face, the eager cut of his hair, the blue eyes that laid on me with a little fear because of my adult status. Not yet hardened by a desire to strike out at what scares him, but a softness that said "I still believe that adults can save me".
God, please keep breaking my heart with what breaks yours so that I might be a better person in the eyes of children.