Alcoholic Bark

Do you want to taste the nastiness of the herbs I've been shooting back to make this baby pop out?

My midwife has given me the perscription of '20 drops of black cohosh' and '20 drops of blue cohosh'. Mix together and 'shoot them back'. May mix with juice.

May mix with juice? I should say so. This stuff is the epitiome of nastiness.

Take some grain alcohol.

Pour it on a tree.

Lick.

Yummmmmm.

But, between this and the accupuncture, maybe this bean won't be so overdue.

I may have explained this before, but I'll go again...

With my son there was a little date discrepancy. I said he was due at the beginning of the month but the ultrasound put him almost three weeks later than that. When he was born smack dab between the dates he popped out all dry and very obviously overdue. In fact the nurse exclaimed "oh! This one was overcooked!"

So I reveled in knowing that I. Was. Right.

Because that's what it's all about, right?

This little bean was planned. I went off the pill. I counted days. I determined ovulation. Things were, um, done. So I am pretty sure that I KNOW when I conceived. And in fact, I tested positive very early and that confirmed for me that I'd ovulated when I thought I did and I'd gotten pregnant when I thought I did.

Then along came technology and the ultrasound put my dates about two weeks later... I say August 2nd or 3rd was the due date, ultrasound says August 13th or 14th.

So I'm either a week late, or my due date isn't for another three or four days.

I believe I'm late, so does my midwife. Kind of. She keeps bringing up the second dates as a reminder that hey, nature may be smarter than you, honeybunch. I am willing to admit that she's right.

But I still want to be right.

It's an obsession.