Dear:_______

When you follow around after me and re-clean everything I've cleaned, you make me feel a little bit inadequate.

Also, I might just as well not clean, so when you are ready to stop, I'll start cleaning again.

Let me know!

H

The sun is shining just a bit brighter today!

The last few days have been horrible. I've felt overwhelmed and tired. I couldn't write, I couldn't create, I could hardly parent.

A few things helped:

1. I had a free half hour of coaching with online for some support and they came to my resuce with cyber-hugs and letters of support.
   
2. I discussed this with my husband. He and I worked out a new schedule so that my mornings are less stressful. If my mornings are easier then I can start out on the right foot for the rest of the day!

Some days you're the bug

Some days the sun is shining and life is good. Some days you can't get enough of the smell of your children and the sound of your husband's voice. Some days the words flow freely and the writing is easy.

And then there are days like these.

Crying baby. Financial worries. Unfulfillment. Pounding headaches. Family health issues.

What do you do to get past it?

(No. Really. I need suggestions!!)

Books I've Read

Got this list from Kim. I've bolded the ones I've read, I wish it were more:

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (J.R.R. Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (J.R.R. Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (J.K. Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (J.K. Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (J.K. Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (J.K. Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (J.R.R. Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (George Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Scott Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J.K. Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Helen Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (John Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In the Skin of a Lion (Michael Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (William Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Queen of the Kindergarteners

I've been volunteering regularly at Kindergarten and am getting to know many of the kids in M.'s class. I take the baby with me, she's now 6 months and if I'm not carrying her, she's in her carseat being accosted by kindergarteners - which she quite enjoys.

The kids are a riot, I'm amazed at the variety of maturity levels... some kids look and act like they are much older than they really are. The teacher assures me that the 'more mature' ones have older brothers and sisters, so they have learned to act older.

I worry, though, about my older influence on them.

They were making Spotty Snakes, using white socks, markers and some buttons for eyes. About 6 kids were putting on a puppet show for me and the eye fell of one of the snakes. That's ok, I said, you can just be the one-eyed snake.

Yeah. You have to have your mind in the gutter for that one.

I might not have, but the teacher had just told me a story about her first year of teaching when she told a group of grade five gym students to "grab their balls".

I am learning. Like saying "wonderful!" instead of "perfect" when someone shows me their work. Using the word perfect may create mini-perfectionists.

Energizing Days

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like your fingers are flying across the keyboard so fast your brain can't keep up?

Many call this a visit by the muse. I don't really believe in muses, but whatever works for ya'! I do love these days, when the writing seems easy and the ideas are all around. When the words form nice little sentences on their own and I don't feel like I'd be better off tongue painting jello on the refrigerator.

I don't usually write to music. Mainly because it's usually me and the kids at home and I don't want to be bopping to the latest tunes and not hear my son calling me to tell me he's cut his leg off or the baby's head is stuck in the stair railing. But today I have blessed childcare and I can crank my tunes up.

It's one of my favorite ways to write. Turning up the music loud enough that I can't hear the keyboard. I don't know why it feels so good, it just does. There's something that distracts me by the clickety-clack of the keyboard. I like the sound of it... when I'm not writing. But there's an intense drive that it triggers in me and when I'm already looking at the deadline and driving towards it, that extra boost doesn't always help.

What am I listening to you ask? Shania Twain's Up album. It's been a long time since I listened to it. As soon as I put it in I realized that the last time I bopped to its funky toons I was newly divorced and had just gone on the first few dates post-divorce. They weren't successful, thank goodness.

Chorus from 'Nah':

You won't find me
Naked and cold justa sittin'on the doctor's table
Waitin' to be told justa why
I'm no longer able
To feel my heart beatin'--give me
a good reason why!
I kinda went numb
just around about the time you told me
You were movin' on, and yousaid that you were gonna phone me
It's been so long, and there ain't nothin' wrong with the line

The whole album was really a soundtrack for my life at the time. Just listening to it reminds me how far I've come.

Chorus from 'She's Not Just a Pretty Face':

She's -- not -- just a pretty face
She's -- got -- everything it takes
She's -- mother -- of the human race
She's -- not -- just a pretty face

Chorus from 'I Ain't Goin' Down':

I'm gonna hold on--
'cause what I believe in is so strong
No matter how long, no one
Can tell me I'm wrong--I ain't goin' down

All these songs are written by Shania Twain and her husband Mutt Lange. I look forward to her next album...

The Break

I have started a new policy in my home office. As soon as I make my deadlines, I take two days off. Two.

The first one is usually full of me pacing around trying to figure out what I should be writing. The second is actually relaxing. I always have something that I could be writing, but I don't think it's healthy for me to always be working.

Husband starts his job full time next Thursday. He's been home for almost 18 months while getting the proper visa to work here in Canada, so it's new for us. The other day my son asked "why is it just me and mommy and E at home all the time now?" Hubby has been going to the coffee shop to study for this test he had to take last Saturday before he could be employed.

The test that he practically ACED by the way. If you need a Financial Planner in Calgary, he's your guy!

I'm sitting in bed right now, typing on my laptop. I should probably be asleep... but it's nice to get some uninterrupted writing time. Kids are asleep in their room and it's quiet in the house. This is a good time to write. Of course it's even better if you've had a chance to take a nap in the afternoon!

Finding the WHY

Poynter Online has an excellent article up about finding the meaning behind our writing.

What's the "Why" in Your Work?

No matter your career path -- journalism, PR or others -- it's possible to find meaning in your work. But how arenewsrooms, caught in the rush of transition, searching for that meaning?

It's focused on journalism and non-fiction and really spoke to me this morning. We all have jobs that we do that feel small or feel unimportant. We need to be really connected to why we write to get that satisfaction each day.

The litany of challenges facing newspapers, broadcast TV, and yes, the Internet, too, is familiar to us all. And every day, the urgency to respond to those challenges intensifies.

It's in all of that urgency that I worry we'll leave meaning behind.

We must learn to shoot video, learn to record audio, learn to blog, learn to podcast, learn to chat online, learn to file multiple times for the Web and then file for the paper and our newscasts, learn to point our stories forward because so much of our audience "already knows," learn to post content produced by our users, learn to publish news reported by the public.

Are we clear about why?

There are plenty of days that I'm unclear. Here's to working on the WHY!

The Perils of Competitive Parenting

Found a wonderful article online:

You and your squirmy 3-year-old walk to the neighborhood playground, glad to get out of the house. Near the swings, two intense, confident mothers compare notes, each bent on proving her progeny's precocity.

"Little Ashley knows her shapes and colors already," one mom says, pushing her 2-year-old prodigy on a swing. "And she's taking French classes, so she knows them in both English and Français."

"Well, Jeremy knows his colors, but he really was having a hard time with the shapes," another mom laments. "But the flashcards have really helped. Now he's nearly got his numbers and letters as well."

You look over at your child, who is sitting in the sandbox. He's placed his plastic bucket on his head and is hitting the bucket with his toy shovel in one hand, shoving sand in his mouth with the other. Because of your obvious neglect, he's never even looked at a flashcard, and he barely speaks English, let alone French. I'm a failure, you think.

Parenting has become a highly competitive venture. The pressure often
comes from seeing what other parents and children are doing and thinking, I'd better catch up, without ever stopping to question the wisdom of that. Or it's derived from reading too many ads for "developmental" products—most of which are unnecessary but play on our insecurities.

Go on... read the whole thing.

Even if I don't want to admit it, I worry about these things. I was struck completely dumb the other day when I was told that three boys in my son's kindergarten class were already on a hockey team. My son has yet to learn to skate. We're Canadian, aren't we just supposed to know?

I worry. Oh I worry some days if I'm up for this challenge of parenting. I think I have 'second baby syndrome'. That's when you have a second child and it's so different from the first that you think "oh, gee, I guess all the good things I've done with child number one didn't really matter a hill of beans because this wonderful personality he's got was just his from birth. I don't matter as much as I thought I did!!"

Prompt

Courtesy of this week's Absolute Write Newsletter:

You have the chance to re-live one memory in your life. Which one do you choose
and why?

Now that is a good question!

When I was growing up we would visit my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) in small town Saskatchewan. As a child with divorced parents, life seemed a little topsy turvy, but life in the small freckle on the prairie was safe.

My brother and I would stay at either our cousins' house or our grandparent's house. At my cousins' house was a wonderful aunt who brushed her daughters' hair and put them in pigtails and who gave us squishy hugs. We would stay up late watching the Cosby Show and Diff'rent Strokes.

During the day we'd go up the hill to our grandparent's house. They had a pool and we would live on its edge. The eldest cousin and I were only 3 months apart and we'd race our way through books. Who could finish the Sweet Valley High books first. Or Trixie Belden.

This was my biggest worry: that I'd finish last in the book race.

There were no parents fighting, no traipsing between bedrooms, no mother's boyfriends. There was only diving to the bottom of the pool and seeing how many laps I could swim while holding my breath.

The little town was more village than town. Less than 200 people in a town that barely registers as a pin point on most maps. We had the run of the town, everyone knew who we were and waved to us as we rode our banana seat bikes through the dusty streets.

Life was sweet and good.

Parenting is not for the judgmental

I was taking a break tonight from ... well from a mish mosh of writing and trying to rock the Incredible Farting Baby... and I perused all the blogs I've been missing.

The Marvelous Mir had a great post up today:

There’s little I dislike more than a parent—particularly a mother—who judges her worth based upon her children’s conduct. I never want to be one of those people. It’s too big of a burden for the kids, and it's pitiful besides.

How true. I was reading other blogs and it occured to me that there are people out there that have a self esteem so low that they must build it up in damaging ways. Like comparing their child to all other children, or making fun of other mothers who just aren't as smart as they feel they are. And in the end, their children will pay the price. They will feel that their own mother's love is tied up in what they do, not who they are.

I am not a perfect mother. I constantly forget to take enough pictures of them. I'm a writer and I can hardly ever remember to write down their special moments. My children are not likely perfect children... but much like moms like Mir, we only expect them to do their best. Not the best that other kids can do, not the fastest on the team or the best at drinking out of a sippy cup.

One of the things being a mom (for, holy cow, six years) has taught me is compassion. It can be very easy once you are past a certain stage in your child's life, to assume you know all about the that time period. All the answers about feeding your child, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, choosing babysitters... they all seem so obvious now that we're past them.

I've learned that I do not have all the answers. More importantly, I've learned that I'm not a better mother because I have more answers than someone else. I've learned that compassion is the single best attribute that a mother can have. Not just compassion for their own children, but for other mothers, for the children of other mothers.

If we do not model compassion for our children, they will not learn it. Compassion is not a skill they can learn because they are just so goshdarn smart. They can't learn it like their ABCs. It must be modeled for them.

When you hear a mother cutting another mother down, when you hear her building herself up by tearing others down... compassion is the only option. It's hard. But parenting is not for wimps. And it is always harder to be the bigger person.

We're #10

The Writing Mother - the Forum was named one of the Internet's Top Ten Writer's Forums in the recent Preditors and Editors Poll!

Yippeee!

Not too shabby for being around just 14 months!

The Preditors and Editors site is an excellent resource. Bookmark it.

An encouraging word...

On one of my writer's lists, we discussed controversial writing. Many spoke about writing about abortion, same-sex marriage, religion, sexual abuse...

I write about horses.

And yet, there are still controversies. Who is right, who is wrong, who said what... it's rather tiresome. But I have often written about these controversies. The mistake I have made is to take a side. I should not do that. I didn't really think I had, but in hindsight, my opinion was clear.

And I've paid for that. Have you ever experienced the same?

Marcia Ford of Post Modern Misfit, sent me the following, and agreed to let me post her words:

I was a reporter at a suburban NY newspaper, so I understand your struggles. God has us where we are, writing what we write, for a reason,but as Christians, we feel we should be doing something more orsomething in a different way or something else altogether.

The way I see it, what God wants you to do is the same thing your editors want you to do: write fair, balanced articles that thoroughlyand accurately report on the controversy. That won't let your readership know that you're a Christian, but it's ethical, so the writing reflects who you are as a Christian.

And it may be that God has you where you are not for your readership but for the editors, the people you interview, and others you come in contact with. Even in our secular writing, God gives us wisdom and insights we can't get anywhere else. That prompts us to ask the right questions, go to the right people, look beyond the surface problem to get at the real issues, and present the facts in a balanced way. That may not get us known as Christians who write, but God may not be concerned about that at all. We can't always (or ever) know God's ultimate purpose in having us do whatwe're doing.

Be encouraged!

I certainly was, and I hope you are too.

I write because...

Do you ever ask yourself this question? Or have you ever had someone say "Why do you write?" There are many answers available and as many reasons as their are writers in this world.

I recently read an account of Bodie and Brock Thoene who have produced a bundle of books by teaming up to write and reseach.

"No little elves come out of my closet to write 650 manuscript pages," Bodie
says. "Some mornings I don't feel like writing, but I do it out of obedience to
God."

Many people write for money, they write for fame, they write to please themselves and these are all very valid reasons - reasons I call my own as well.

I had not considered, until recently, that my calling may be to write. Would God have given me a gift (oh, ho, hello ego!) if he didn't want me to use it? I've been one of those people who has never really been sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. Nurse, vet, paramedic, teacher... but the reality is, I'd always be a writer outside of my regular work.

So why not just call myself a writer and be done with it.

So I do.

I write because it's my calling.

CONTEST: ARE YOU A WRITER MAMA (OR PAPA)?

Writing's hard; parenting's harder. Only the strongest souls would consider doing them both at the same time, and we applaud that spirit.Writer's Digest wants to hear from you on the topic of: "When Parenting and Writing Collide."

Write your best original, unpublished parenting-and-writing story in a 500-word essay and e-mail it to publicity@fwpubs.com with "Writer Mama contest" in the subject line. Christina Katz, author of Writer Mama, will select the top three entries. The first-place entry will be published in an upcoming issue of Writer's Digest magazine; second- and third-place entries will be posted on thewritermama.com.

All winners will receive a signed copy of Writer Mama. All entries must be e-mailed to publicity@fwpubs.com by March 31.

The entry must be written in the body of the e-mail; attachments will not be accepted or opened. Each entry should include your name, address, telephone number and e-mail address. Only the winning writers will be contacted, and entries will not be returned. Writer's Digest retains first-time rights to run the winning entries in the magazine and/or on our website or associated websites, after which all rights return to the author. The decisions of the editors are final.

I will do it!

I have set my mind that this is the year I'm going to get organized. I'm going to do it. I have to do it. Oh sure, this is also the year I'm going to lose 20 lbs. I'm sure you've heard all the lines before.

This is serious. (LOL, ok, it's not THAT serious!)

I am the mother of two children. I have a lot on my plate. I have a book due and a freelance career. I'm also a part time (slacker) student (darn distance courses make it so easy to slack!).

So I want to start this year out right. I think I have found the program to do it. (Note: I'm not getting paid to endorse this... when I land a sweet deal to endorse products for money, y'all will be the first to know!)

Julie Hood, The Organized Writer (I think the title 'The Writer We Love To Hate' was taken) has written the ebook 'The Organized Writer: 30 Days to More Time, More Money, and Less Frustration' and I'm going to check it out. I've been following her weekly plan this week and I like the format. Plus her ebook has pages you can print out to keep track of a multitude of things like submissions and manuscripts and queries and invoices.

Also, I've found an e-zine that I love. Writers On The Rise: Inspiration, Insight and Ideas For Emerging Writers. I admit it... at first I was banging my head on the table because she has a new book coming out called Writer Mama... and it practically mirrored the book proposal I had.

Onward and upward though, there are always new ways to look at things and I'll just buy her book and learn from it and come up with brand spankin' new ideas. Meanwhile, her e-zine looks fabulous.

This week was a little helter-skelter. I was chasing photos down for an article and cursing myself for not starting the project earlier - like early December. It always seemed that I was busy. This is the reason for my desire... my need to become Queen Organization.

Plus that title fits in with my Extroverted-Judger-Outer-Focused-Perfectionist personality. I like to write things down, I like to take notes, I like the hard copy versus the soft copy. I love blue binders and bright dividers and I love, love, love day timers.

I bought the Bylines 2007 Writers Desk Calendar and every other page has a neat little story from a writer. It's a good one. (Again, still not paid to endorse, lol.)

The Resolutions

1. Write Rookie Reiner (yeah, I should think so... I'm contracted to do it now!)
2. Increase writing income by 10-15%
3. Learn to do my own taxes
4. Reach the milestone of 300 published articles (I'm at about 210)
5. Finish my ICEA coursework and attend the September convention.
6. Finish two more Book Proposals (one horse book and one non-horse book)
7. Set up new accounting system.
8. Pay off two credit cards, the line of credit and cancel one card.
9. Move. (as in... out of this house...)
10. Write more about common things people care about and less about politics.

Out with the old..

It's been a tumultuous year. (Note to self: check for spelling of tumultuous)

Full of change in my home, in the organizations I volunteer with, in the industry I write about. Some changes have been good and some bad. Before I write my resolutions (or 'aspirations' as I've heard them called), I feel I must look over 2006 to see just what has gone right and what has gone wrong in my writing career.

1. Right: Signed with my agent.
2. Right: Worked on my proposal with my agent and sold my book to the publisher.
3. Right: Gave birth in the middle of doing #2.
4: Right: Increased my income by 10%, right on plan.

1. Wrong: Didn't take enough time to write That Editorial that got me in so much trouble, just a sentence or two to explain one point MAY have saved me some headache.
2. Wrong: Let myself be bothered by the pettiness of others.

So the rights are winning, two to one. This is ok. More good has come of 2006 than bad. I think that next year I'll try to be less opinionated. Not to avoid controversy, but because I really don't care as much about the politics in the industry anymore.

I want to focus on the people that love the industry, the new people coming in with their squeaky clean, brand new enthusiasm. The people who give back to the industry, the ones who love the horses and not just the sport.

On one of my lists someone made a very good comment: People involved in some sports are so passionate about the sport because it's all they have. It's like their religion.

That made a pile of sense. People who can become so nasty when involved in the politics are to be pitied - that they have lost the ability to see past the commandments of the political arena. Thou shalt not break bread with those you disagree with. Thou shalt not listen to any opinion other than those that support your own.

I vow not to be this person.

I learned this year that you can be unbiased, but if you appear to be biased then you are biased. People who perceive you as biased will always do so.

I have learned a great deal from the husband: Major Man. He's helped me see that sometimes people will dislike me just because I do my job. He's helped me to understand my own biases and helped me to overcome them.

It was a good year. Here's to a new year with all the love of last and less of the heartache.

Didn't he go to college?

The other day I caught my husband doing something very, very odd.

He was following the directions on the Kraft Mac & Cheese box. I mean... does ANYONE do that?

Tis the Season to be BUSY!

The other Sunday our pastor spoke about the song, Joy to the World. It begins "Joy to the World, the Lord has come.." and yet we often feel no joy at this time of year. It's stressful to be buying Christmas presents on a budget, to welcome family into the house so that all the stressors can be right on top of one another.

I'm trying very hard this year to be relaxed. To remain calm, to find the joy in my life. Some days are harder than others.

I've been reading a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" and part of the book involves doing a little quiz on behalf of your child to determine his level of 'spiritedness'. M. scored quite high... but when it came to the parent's quiz... I scored even higher! Yes, I'm a spirited parent.

This apparently comes as no surprise to my family who laugh and say "Tree. Apple." while drawing a straight line in the air from head to toe.