Jodie Coston's Online Photography Course

Thanks to Miss Carolyn, I am trying out Jodie Coston's online photography course. Which you'll see is freeeeee. Awesome.





I have done a bit of photography over the last few years. In fact, I did all the photography for my book, Rookie Reiner. But I could use a lot of help. It was easy to take some of the pictures, in summer with the sun shining and one subject to take a picture of. But what about more creative pictures where you want to actually say something with your photo?





Assignment #1 was to take an abstract photo based on the compositional rules in the first lesson (rule of three, golden mean, triangle, etc...). Here are my first two attempts:

I welcome any feedback, opinions... etc...

A Quick Comment on all that Obama-Cover-Stuff

I don't know if it's because I'm Canadian or because I'm a writer or a combination... but I'm not sure I get the big kerfuffle about "the Obama cover" on The New Yorker.

Maybe it's because I'm from Canada and we had this huge controversy where a publisher DARED to print cartoons of Mohammed and was sent death threats, sued and hauled into a kangaroo court called the "Human Rights Commission". Since then I've felt strongly that the freedom of speech we need to protect is the most unreasonable speech.

Why?

Because women didn't get to vote by being reasonable.

Schools weren't desegregated because black people were reasonable about it.

Many things have been accomplished through unreasonable writing. This cartoon is a form of expression that should be protected. When we start to self-censor for fear of offending those with thinnest of skins then we lose something very powerful: the ability to change the world through words and images.

It's another countdown time!

Ok peeps, it seems that finishing a book under deadline while working full time, battling allergies and puking babies and juggling the big kid's summer schedule.... I soothe my stress with Food and Lots of It. All of It, apparently.

I say this because I am getting big... big ... big.. biggety big...

I'm going to be very open and honest here (mostly I am, really) and tell you all that I'm at my highest weight ever. Yes, this includes while being 9 months pregnant.

Yes really. And can you pass me those butter tarts please. I'm just going to stick one in my back pocket so that it has the shortest route possible to MY BIG BUTT.

So, here's the deal.

I signed myself up for (no, not weight watchers, that would be kind of smart) a writers' conference. Not just any conference by the Surrey International Writers' Conference. I'm signed up, my flight is booked, time is booked off of work and my roomie has booked the rooms.

And I don't want to go fat.

October 24-26th.

Averaging a pound a week is safe... so, 15 lbs.

Except OF COURSE I'd rather that it were closer to 30 lbs. Probably not safe. On the other hand... it's not dangerous.

Probably not going to happen if I continue my little relationship with Rickards White. But you drink it with an ORANGE so it's part FRUIT & VEGETABLE. And one part GRAINS. Hmmmmm.

So I've been at the gym Wed/Thurs and I rode my bike Thursday night. Today was a bit of a write-off but I did some weights/lunges etc.. at home after the baby went to bed. Yes, ok, so I had a beer. But I have not had a butter tart. Even though they call to me with their sweet voices. The bastards.

This was when I knew it would be ok...

I did it. I hit send.

I need a nap.

Or maybe beer.

Total word count is just under 73,000.

Yogurt. The Woman Food. (or, I Laughed Until Yogurt Came Out My Nose. Or I Pooped My Pants.)

ZOMG. TOO FUNNY!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

You call me as soon as you have the courage to."

If you have to tell someone "I'm a complete catch"... you may not be. If you have to say "there is nothing wrong with me", then there may be.

Oh, and abuse in childhood? Mother with cancer? Anxiety disorder?

Look up "passive aggressive"?

Now I can tell you the last time I cried...

Someone pat me on the back... please?

I came across a blog today written by a very rich mommy and detailing her trials and tribulations of motherhood. Like, flying first class without a change table in the first class bathroom.

And I came THIS CLOSE to leaving a troll-ish comment. THIS CLOSE people. I was so very irritated.

But I backed away slowly, reminded myself that it would be WRONG to do that and now I'm going to put my head down and work while the baby FINALLY naps.

I just had to confess it out here so that I can feel a bit more accountable.

The Nitty Gritty of The Debt

In March of this year I posted that Major Man and I had decided to do a little switcheroo with the money responsibilities. It was a little difficult for me to take, since I've always been the one in control. So it was a matter of letting go and trusting someone else. Something that should be easy with your husband, right?

Actually. Yes, it has been.

We've had a few bumps in the road but I wanted to tell you that we have gotten rid of $18,495 worth of debt. In four months.

I KNOW!

Part of that was selling my truck, which (despite the doom and gloom prognosis) sold for more than I owed on it. I've also had good luck with sales at the Day Job and Major Man has put most of his paycheques towards the debt.

Want to know how we did it? We just followed Gail Vaz-Oxlade's advice to the letter. She's one straight-talking lady!

Schooools Out For the... oh nevermind...

In honour of The Last Day of School for Army Boy, I bring you:

Emily Dickinson's Kids Are Home For The Summer by Wendi Aarons.

And as a bonus, Wendi pointed us in the direction from some other verra, verra funny ladeeees:

Christy the Writer
BernThis

Something to distract you from something else.

I'm at critical mass at the moment. Even my boss is telling me "you need to slow down" when he's usually saying "Pile on more! You can do it!" And his way of telling me this is to tell me a big story about a woman who had kids and worked really hard and then had some kind of breakdown and now she looks old and really skinny.

Wait, skinny would be cool...

Anyways. Here are some nifty sites to peruse:

To freelance for trade magazines, be a team player over at Word Count by Michelle Vranizan Rafter.

How to get your clients to pay invoices promptly by WikiHow... which is really a weird web site because clicking the "Random Article" link in the right hand corner can take you in directions you don't want to go... I got "how to form the word blood with your fingers" and then "how to panhandle online" and now I'm feeling so icky that I almost don't want to link to them... except the paying invoices article is actually pretty good.

Harness the writing process to become more effective (and efficient) writer by Paul Lima who gives verra verra good advice.

Don’t quote the AP… or else? by Carolyn Erickson... who really does hit the flat bit with the hard thingy.

Back shortly after these messages.

Finding Sources

If you start writing in a niche industry and you are even the littlest bit successful then you'll find yourself using the same sources over and over again. I wrote a Q&A column for several years, it was focused on horses and each month I had to find four experts to answer questions. After the first year I'd used everyone I knew who had any kind of good level of expertise!

When seeking sources, you need to get creative. Here are some examples:

• Mom Groups – postings on bulletin boards at the local gym or YMCA
  
• Mass emails to family members and close friends (you know, the ones who aren’t going to report you as spamming!)
  
• Professional Associations – email a request to the communications of a non-profit asking them to forward your request for sources to their membership, often they have regular newsletters
  
• Emailing the “Investor Relations” contact at a related company
  
• University Professor listings – every university or college I’ve looked at has bios and contact info for their staff members
  
• Craigslist, Kijiji.ca, Facebook or any other site that offers you to post an “ad” for free
  
• Set up a google alert for the phrase “is a mom who” because Google will send you an email each day every time that phrase appears. I’ve done it for my name, blog name and specific phrases like “a veterinarian specializing in lamenesses” to find vets with specialties…

The BEST resource I've seen, by far, is Help A Reporter Out. During a recent posting I received over 60 emails in response.

Thank You Hillary

I know I'm not American, and I try to be multi-partisan on my blog.... but I felt I had to comment on Hillary's "bowing out" speech.

It was well done, inspiring and graceful.

I felt proud to be a woman when I listened to her. Proud to identify as a "third wave" feminist. As she mentioned, I've grown up with the assumption that women get to vote, that all colours of children can go to school and that we are equal under the law.

"All this talk about women's rights is moonshine. Women have every right. They have only to exercise them. That's what we're doing." Victoria ClaflinWoodhull, first woman candidate for President of the United States, 1872

Too True

Place Five Arrows in Your Marketing Quiver By Paul Lima

Freelance writers like to write. Freelance editors like to edit. Few like to get out there and sell their services. I find that ironic, because most sales efforts require writing and editing. Think telemarketing scripts, sales letters, promotional e-mails, advertising copy, direct mail brochures, Web copy, media releases, and so on.

Why is it, as writers and editors, we can so easily do for others what we struggle to do for ourselves?

The answer is simple. Many freelance writers and editors, even those who work for corporate markets, don’t understand that they are in business and they fail to apply basic business principles to their freelance business.
Once you accept that you are in business and that marketing is part of what makes a business successful, it is easier to use basic sales and marketing tools to develop your business.

Like any business, I have five arrows in my marketing quiver. I shoot them all a planned and systematic manner to generate new and repeat business. The five arrows include:
* Maintain my website
* Generate repeat business, testimonials and referrals
* Network with friends, relatives, associates and organizations
* Advertising and promotion
* Cold calling and mailing

Website
You can be in business without a website, but it is becoming more difficult.
My website contains information about me and my services and books as well as testimonials and examples of my writing. When I promote my books and services, I always include my website address (http://www.paullima.com/) so that those interested in buying what I am selling can find out more from me. In addition, my website is optimized for search engines so it shows up in search results based on key words such as “copywriter Toronto”, “freelance writer Toronto”, “media interview trainer” and others. Over half my new business comes from searches, so it pays to have a website and optimize it for search engines, as I explain in my book, "How to Optimize Your Website for the Best Possible Search Engine Results" (www.paullima.com/books).

Repeat Business
As any retailer can tell you, their next customer is most likely to be a previous customer. But they don’t wait for repeat customers to walk through the door. They use direct mail and other means to invite them to return.

When was the last time you asked previous clients if they needed your services? Out of site is out of mind, so contact previous clients once every few months – a short email message will do – and make generating repeat business one of your marketing strategies.

Most businesses also know that positive word of mouth is their friend.
Deliver the goods and happy customers are likely to tell others about you.
You can sit back and hope your clients will tell others about you, or you can motivate positive word of mouth by asking your clients – by phone or email – for referrals and testimonials.

Networking
You can also ask people you know to tell others about you. This simple but powerful marketing tool is known as networking. Make a list of all the people you know – friends, relative, associates – and make sure they know what you are doing and who you are doing it for. Ask them if they can pass on your name, email address and website address.

A number of organized groups – chambers of commerce, boards of trades, and trade associations – stage formal networking events. If you are not at those events, you are not meeting potential new clients.

Advertising & Promotion
Why not advertise? That’s right, pay to promote your services. Whenever I suggest this to freelance writers and editors, they look askance – as if it were a sin to spend money on marketing. I am not suggesting your run a full page ad in the Toronto Star. However, if you write for the automotive or financial services industry, why not take out a small ad or classified ad in a trade publication that reaches your audience? Consider advertising in the Yellow Pages and on websites that reach your target market. Also, look into running targeted Pay Per Click ads on Google. It’s what other businesses do to reach their target markets.

Why not promote your services? What do you specialize in? Writing or editing proposals for the not-for-profit sector? Writing or editing IT training manuals? Writing or editing legal, financial, healthcare, government, or other documents? Whatever you do, let the editors of publications that reach your target market know that you are willing to be interviewed for articles that deal with communication issues or strategies. You may even be asked to write a short article on your area of expertise for the publication. That is solid exposure for freelancer writers or editors who are targeting the corporate sector.

Cold calling
Use the Web or business directories to source business contact information and promote your services using cold calling or direct mail. Since marketing is, in many ways, a numbers game, you should be sending out five or more direct mail pitches per week or making five or more cold calls. Your goal here is to land new clients you can convert into repeat business.

Not every arrow in the marketing quiver will hit the target every time, but if you are not taking shots in a controlled and systematic manner, you will never hit the target. So remind yourself that you are in business, and start marketing like it matters. Because if you are in business, marketing does matter.

Copyright, 2008: Paul Lima is a Freelance Writer, Writing Trainer, and author of "The Six-Figure Freelance: How to Find, Price, and Manage Corporate Writing Assignments" and seven other books and short reports (www.paullima.com/books). Visit him online at http://www.paullima.com/ or email info@paullima.com.

How Do I Do It? Really? You Really Wanna Know?

Ok, I'll tell you.

First, let me say... I don't think that you should do it this way. It works for me, but that's all I can say.

Second, I just poured a cup of coffee and it's 9:45 pm.

Third, that's about it. Coffee and lots of it.

Oh... dear... French Maids, UR Doin' It Wrong

I swear, I don't watch these kinds of videos all the time, or, ever actually. But I laughed and laughted and even LOL'd with How to Give CPR at FrenchMaidTV.com.

I totally blame Peter Shankman at HelpAReporterOut.com for mentioning the how-to videos at this site. Baaad Peter, Baaad.

And I thought a strong will was a good thing...

I’ve discovered my least favourite word is “will”.

As I edit, I’m finding it crossed off everywhere. It’s an indicator of a weakly phrased sentence.

“You will find that this gets easier.”

Or

“This gets easier.”

Just remove the will!

Chicken Soup sold, new project on the go...

According to the recent Publishing Syndicates newsletter, the Chicken Soup anthologies have been sold to an East Coast publisher. Publishing Syndicate has always had a great reputation, they pay on time, they are good to their writers, they have been writers themselves.

Now they are getting set to announce a new anthology:

Publishing Syndicate is proud to announce a new anthology series. At this time, we
are discussing this series with several publishers and for this reason cannot release the name of the project just yet.

This book series is the brainchild of friend Kathleen Partak. With the changes in
Publishing Syndicate’s direction, Kathy’s idea for a book series is now becoming a
reality. Of course, Kathy will have top billing, followed by the two of us, and Publishing Syndicate will act as the managing entity.

Even though we can’t share the name of the series with you at this time, we can
give you a sneak peek at the structure: It will be an anthology series (with stories from you!) combined with interviews from experts, inspiration on par with that found in books such as The Secret, and how-to tips and advice, similar to the Dummies series. These books will allow our readers to “read, identify, and do” and become an active participant.

So make sure you have their web site bookmarked and stay tuned!

I'd like some blood, please.

Via fellow PWACer, Marijke Durning.

Please take a moment to visit Heal Emru and consider getting tested as a bone marrow donor.

What The Heck Do You Want From Me???

I spoke with a few writers this past weekend about how to get into magazines. I spoke with one friend who has a great start on a writing career and just needs to up her game a bit, and another younger writer who is certain that This Is Her Career but needs to know how to get started.

I tried to give the best advice I could and thought I'd share some of it here, maybe a bit better written (I hope) than spoken.

You are a writer, but you are also a salesperson. You are selling a product that is part YOU and part WORDS. About 3/4 of your pitch is about the product. 1/4 is why you are the writer for the job. If you are less experienced, you may need a little less space for YOU, but don't discredit what you have to offer: personal experience, schooling, work history, awards, accreditation, letters behind your name...

When you pitch a query, think of it as, well, a pitch. You are getting ready to throw a ball to a batter and that batter can hit it or not. You want the batter to hit it, so get ready. Perfect it, make it a nice round package, then lob it carefully. It may fall flat, it may get knocked out of the park.

You cannot control what the editor accepts, you can only control what you put out into the world. So work hard on developing your queries first in your niche area (whatever you decide that is) and then broadening out.

What the editor wants, is a great writer who pitches a great story with a unique angle and written in a compelling voice (one that compels the reader to continue reading), even if the topic is somewhat dry.

Here's a great post (hat/tip WordCount/by Michelle Vranizan Rafter) on the topic of what editors want from freelancers. One of my favourite bits:

What’s The Value? Unfortunately, the law of supply and demand dictates the market for freelancers. There are tons of freelancers out there. (I didn’t say they were good, just that they’re out there.) Everyone wants to write and thinks they can write. So, how valuable are freelancers? Valuable if they deliver. That means they meet deadlines, the copy is tight and bright, they follow the assignment sheet, they keep you abreast of developments, especially problems, and they contact you early – not the day before – when a sticky point develops.

One of my freelancers should probably get more money from me. I don’t want to lose him, but there’s something called a budget. So I pay him within one week (or less) when he turns in the assignment. And I have only sent one assignment back for a minor touch-up in about five years. Any follow-up, I do. What I’m doing is keeping his workload to a minimum and paying faster than anyone in the freelance universe. He loves working with me, and I enjoy working with him. I’m also appalled that the freelance market doesn’t pay any better today (per word) than it did 25 years ago. Supply and demand. There will always be more supply than demand – and the wages reflect that reality.

Go and check it out and start pitching those editors!

Dear Jerk Face

Dear Jerk Face:

I'm going to guess that when you sideswiped my car sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning, you didn't know everything that we have been going through.

You didn't know how hard it's been, climbing slowly out from under debt accrued living in this expensive city.

You didn't know that this car represented something for me. It was just about to become 'my' car, as we sold my beloved truck to save money on fuel and car payments.

Last month we put over $1000 into it, getting the brakes done. We bought it last year from my former in-laws. It was my former father-in-law's car and he and I havent' always gotten along, but you know what? When I drove this car I thought nice thoughts about him because it had been maintained very well.


I even harboured these secret feelings that in a way he'd passed it down to me. We were going to take care of it. The two car seats nestled in the back might have given you an idea that this is a family car. This is our family's car.

And yet, now we face the possibility that it gets written off. Because the damage is enough that we need to inform the insurance company and they get to decide what to do.

I can't very well drive around without a side mirror, can I? And the damage sticker is good for only so long.

Thankfully I did not find out about this yesterday when I was having A Day From Hell. It might have pushed me over the edge. But this morning when I drove the kids to school there was a wonderful song playing: "on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, I will not be moved."

And so I won't be moved. I won't give in to the anger that I feel right now. I won't Lose. My. Shit. I won't let this dissuade me. I know that people are fallible. I know that if you were in a good place, you would have left a note.

So I forgive you.



Love,

Heather

The G Word. Like the G Spot But Less Fun.

I’ve taken off about ten days of work (started yesterday) so I can get some writing done. I have much to do. One book to write, another to edit.

I feel a bit like I’m cheating because my daughter is at day care and my son is in school. Well, the school thing isn’t really cheating. But having my daughter in day care while I’m at home writing – that feels a lot like cheating. It’s not like I haven’t put in my time of writing during nap times and after the kids go to bed. But a big shadowy part of me sits inside my chest saying “you should have your kids with you, you’re a writing mother, not a single lady, your kids neeeeed you.”

When Joshilyn takes off for a week sans children to write. I wonder if she feels guilty. When Shirley has cleaners come in during the week I wonder if she feels guilty. I don’t think that they should at all. I think that they have made very smart decisions to do what works for them so they can get their writing done.

So what makes me so special that I should feel guilty about this?

Nothing really, in fact, just typing that out made that little shadowy part of me shrink just a smidge. I don’t feel guilty when I go off to work – it’s something that just needs to be done. So I’m going to excise the guilt right now. The best way to do it is to get to work. Because if I’m sitting here eating bon-bons, then guilt might be called for. But I’m not. I’m working.

And may I just say: this is my ideal working environment. At home, in the quiet. Do you hear that husband?

Major Man and I have an ongoing discussion about the eventuality of me staying at home to write. I’m sure it will happen one day. But I have a Day Job that is kind of satisfying, a nice place to work with opportunities for advancement. But I wonder if it’s as satisfying as the job I have at home, as a writing mother. My instincts tell me it’s not.

Every day I come across something else I could be doing if I were writing at home. There are courses I could be planning and teaching. There are other books to write. There are articles zinging around in my head that I have no time to query.

I mostly lurk at a web site called Freelance Success, or FLX for short. It’s full to the brim with writers who are making good money at their trade. Some are in the six figures. To read their posts is like sipping on a cappuccino of inspiration. I feel the jolt of “I can do that”. Sometimes I actually feel my heart rate increase, or I get goosebumps.

But then there’s the safety of my job. The security. There’s the rub. Security. Ensconced in my cubicle farm where I can make decisions; where my ego is massaged daily with “I know who will know: Heather will know” and the almost weekly pats on the back from my boss. These keep me there. Should they?

Wouldn’t it be better to taste the unsecure freedom? Up until recently, I’ve been the breadwinner. Major Man has had one setback after another when it came to employment. Up here in Canuckistan they just didn’t understand his military background and that it prepared him for more that shooting at things in a tank.

But now he’s in a training class that – if he passes – could transition into a great job. If it does, he’ll shoot past me in the earning department. And if we’ve been able to survive on one income for three years…

Decisions, decisions.

What Would You Do?

I have a question, I've posted it at my Canadian Parents blog, would you mind comin' over and answering it for me?

Have I said this before?

I know I recommended the book before, but really... now I really, really want to recommend it. Between Interruptions is a book edited by Cori Howard and it's the first book in a good long while that has had me crying in the bathtub.

Normally I don't do that. Normally I read a book in kind of a rushed, sneak it in while you can before the baby wakes, sort of way. But there are essays or "momoirs" in this book got to me.

Writing Mothers should read this book.

You'll find yourself in its pages.

Wanna come to church?

My Pastor is now podcasting his sermons. And he's really funny....

Listen here.

I'm listening to the Mother's Day sermon right now and it's very good. Pastor Steve is very funny!

Spark your creativity

I don't know about you, but sometimes my creative juices have done dried up. (No, I'm not Southern, I'm channelling... ) But between the early mornings and late evenings, it can be hard to get anything written. Even blog posts. (Um, did you notice?)

But here's a cool little site to get you writing:

One Word

You have 60 seconds to write about one word.

Here's a great talk from Jodi Picoult on how she did research for her latest book. Honestly I have always been a bit pro-capital punishment.... but I waffle. It's not really a subject that the affected can waffle about, is it? Jodi's experience is quite dramatic, and she's a good storyteller:

Love Thursday for Mrs. L.

Dear Mrs L,

When my son was in Kindergarten it was your first year as principal at our school. I was a little weirded out by you because you were simply too sweet. You seemed to be patting me on my head and smiling just past me all the time. I was never really sure that you knew what was going on in the trenches.

But M had a great and wonderful teacher who had been teaching for three decades. I didn't really have to worry about anything because Mrs S had things covered.

And then this year things with M really seemed to take a bit of turn for the worse.

But, Mrs L, you've been a surprising new discovery. You love children. When I had to come in to the office and talk to you and I got all weepy because if M's difficulties, you saw right through me like my skin was made of glass. You started telling me about how it was when your kids went to school and you were so busy working full time and trying to manage kids and how now you just hired a wonderful teacher and you didn't even know until she brought it up that she taught your kids grade one during that first difficult year of being a working mom.

The compassion you've shown for my son is simply unmatched. You're so concerned about his self-esteem and you see this amazing brightness in him that I thought perhaps I was the only one to see for a while. You see his compassionate side and his desire to be liked and you are the first to stop me in the hall and tell me that he's had exactly 3 wonderful days in a row at school. When he has bad days you make sure you note down the time and what was happening, not just to tell me, but to try and determine what exactly is causing it. Could it be food related? Transitions? Just being tired?

And knowing that you raised five children (one that just graduated from Harvard) is just another reason that I know you get it. Having five kids turn out well isn't a fluke. You did something right. At the literacy night this week, your stories of the way you read with your kids was inspiring and made me want to scoop up an armful of new books and sit down with my son and read until we fell asleep.

Yes, this year I've gotten to know you and I'm so very thankful that you're in M's life.

So you can understand why I'm taking your retirement so very hard. I can't even talk to you about it without getting big fat stupid tears in my eyes. I hate that. But I hate that you are leaving even more. I don't want you to go. Don't go, ok? Please? Yes, you have more than earned your retirement, but in just two and a half more years we'll be moving up to the next school and you can leave then, ok? Because we need you here.

We need your passion. We need to hear how excited you get when you are telling the kids about the play coming up and when you are extolling the virtues of newspapers and their role in literacy to a handful of parents and when you are congratulating a child on just getting through a week without a major incident.

Just please don't go, we still need you.

Strangely enough, I'd probably NOT take the cash and run.

BOSTON - If a stay-at-home mom could be compensated in dollars rather than personal satisfaction and unconditional love, she'd rake in a nifty sum of nearly US$117,000 a year.

Read more...

Somedays it's intimidating out there...

I find it staggering ... simply staggering... the number of wonderful women writers on the web. (I was going to say 'female' but my favourite feminist on the planet says that We Are Women! not 'females')

The writing is there to be discovered on the web. So many wonderful writers that I might never have heard of if it weren't for the interwebs.

First, there's Dooce. Heather Armstrong. First woman blogger I know whose blog became a verb. If you got fired for blogging about work... you were dooced. She does this thing where she blogs each month of her daughter's life. She's up to 51 months and this last month was one of the best posts ever because it wasn't just to her daughter today... it was to her daughter in 12 years or so when she's on the internet, reading what her mom wrote about her.

Then there's Kira at Kiwords. I can honestly tell you that Kira has made me a better mom. I've never read anyone who could write so beautifully about the simplist things... soon I was looking at things differently. Small things became magnified. Raising my kids because more of an adventure than a task. Sometimes she comes up with lines like "Raphael is completely enthralled with his cup, and wore it most of the day on Saturday. It protected his young squishy boyness during a particularly brutal game of Wii baseball, and also kept him safe during multiple thunks with his own delighted knuckles." That made me smile so hard my son saw me and said "mommy, what is that face you are making!?" I do smile, really, just not normally that crazily.

And Mir, who is, like, the bloggy queen in my books. So many times I've laughed out loud at something she's said, even when it's as short as "I. Lost. My. Shit." which caused me to make another laughy face ... except I was at work and someone passed by and said "UH, what are you laughing at?" and I couldn't really tell them because, um, hello web surfer at work....

No list would be complete without Joshilyn who - I think - invented The Mental Illness Number along with the term Best Beloveds (which is how I sometimes want to address my team at work, 'cept it's not really appropriate for the work setting!) But I love how she makes me feel ... the same, and yet, sane.

And there are new ones that I'm finding all the time. Motherhood Uncensored, Edgy Mama, Mommy Needs Coffee and Attack of the Redneck Mommy. And so many more ... I mean, just look at my links over there on the right ------------>

So who is your favourite female woman blogger and why?

RIP Eight Belles

This past weekend saw the 134th running of the Kentucky Derby. This is one third of the famed "Triple Crown" and very few fillies have run the race, it's a boy's club.

But a little filly named Eight Belles was going to give it a go. The reporters called her a "pro" and "unflappable". Some horses just have a workmanlike attitude. They know their job, they want to do their job, they want a purpose. You know when you ride these horses that they like their job. Some might disagree, they might say we force them to work. To those people I say that you've never seen two horses race each other by themselves. You've never seen a cutting horse cut plastic bag blowing in the wind, just because. You've never seen a horse nudge his handler to get into the ring or rub its head on its owner's arm and nudge for treats.

Eight Belles was one of those horses. You can see in her warm-ups that she's running free from pain. A horse in pain does not keep her ears forward and her eyes so alert.



She fell, breaking both ankles. Or perhaps breaking her ankles caused the fall. There is no way to know. But I've been on horses when they fall down. In fact, my first horse, a standardbred ex-racehorse had stopped racing due to an ankle injury. He was put down after I was riding him (years after his original injury) and he tripped, re-fracturing his ankle. And that was at a slow pace. I have no doubts that going as fast as Eight Belles was going, that she tripped and broke both ankles.

Think of it as you rollerblading, tripping and trying to brace yourself with both hands. It's so very sad.

Reconsidering Facebook?

... this might push you over the fence...

When you see a copyright violation....

So you're on a group, a Yahoo group or some kind of listserv. Consistently you see articles being posted - full text, copy and pasted. What do you do?

First, there's the chance that the offender has actually asked permission to post those articles. So you can't go in guns a blazin' and yelling fire. But you can ask if permission has been granted.

I belong to a Yahoo group used for Crockpot recipes... and I've been turning a blind eye to the posting of entire articles to the list. But a few weeks ago the list mom posted something about how she knows all about copyright and nothing she's been doing has been violating copyright because of the rules of copyright regarding recipes. (Ingredients can't be copyrighted, some descriptions can, but with crockpot recipes the descriptions are very often "put it all in, turn it on")

I emailed her off list and politely informed her that while the recipes might be ok, the posting of the full text of articles was actually not. She seemed irritated. An excert from her missive:

"But as I know that Wednesday's food section becomes Friday's fish wrap...I don't see any harm in posting articles from newspapers. In case you don't get the metaphor...newspaper articles are ephemeral...they exist for a day and are gone. I just don't believe anyone is harmed with me or anyone else sharing them. If you disagree with my policy, you are welcome to leave the list. Just because you are a writer, doesn't mean you should *get your undies in a bunch* over copyright. Some people take themselves WAAAY too seriously."

I tried not to get offended. I was really only trying to mention that she might be better served posting links rather than full text, since technically posting the full article was a copyright violation.

She followed it up with "Cooking is NOT an artform that is protected under copyright. Recipes and cooking information are shared quite freely on the Internet. You may not agree...and again, you are welcome to NOT be a part of the list. I'm a writer myself, and believe that bigger works (magazines, books, etc.) deserve full protection. But a couple of articles from newspapers....really, you find this bothersome? Seriously, Heather, get a life!"

Oops, there I go again, me and my no life and taking things too seriously, almost like it were my job! Oh, wait, it is.

It can be really easy to respond in a snappy manner when someone is so ignorant of the laws and how they apply. It's very black and white. If it's yours, do what you want with it. If it's not yours, you have to get permission. We don't get to choose where copyright should be enforced and where it shouldn't - it's a simple matter of ownership. I responded in a polite manner, I didn't tell her she's an idiot (because she's not, she's just ignorant of the rules).

"I apologize for offending you. I simply wanted to ensure that you were aware of the copyright violations. As a writer, I do make my money from selling the "right to copy" my articles. My "undies" were not in a bunch, I was simply engaging in a little exercise of education in case it was required. Writing is writing and copyright is in place as soon as words are in a fixed format. I'm sincerely sorry that you do not understand that and I hope that as a writer you do not ever have your work used without permission. I am a professional and do tend to take writing seriously as it's how I feed my children. I'm sorry that offends you."

I guess I just struggle with what to do as a writer when you see something "wrong". I'm going with "point it out politely, let go, move on". Or as my husband says "Acknowledge and move on". I actually would feel very bad if this individual had her work used without permission, but I think that would probably be the only way she'd learn that her writing is hers and hers alone. and she deserves to be paid for it.

And I believe she's a writer, whether she's published or not. But I want to tell her, "how do you think your future publisher will view your lack of respect for copyright?" I know that my publishers would drop me quicker than I could say 'intellectual property rights'.

The correct way to point someone to an article is:

Copyright on the Web seems to be a difficult concept for people to understand. If you did not write or create the article, graphic, or data that you found, then you need permission from the owner before you can copy it. Remember, when you use someone's graphic, HTML, or text without permission, you are stealing, and they can take action against you.
Read more ...

Market For Ya: Traveling Mamas

Traveling Mamas Anthology

TravelingMamas.com is in search of true uplifting, funny, inspirational, and touching stories with a travel theme for an upcoming anthology series. Possible themes may include family travel, romantic escapes, girlfriend getaways, and solo trips.

We’re looking for stories that inspire us, force us to laugh out loud or make us reach for the tissue box. Bring us into your story by using the five senses. Every story must have a beginning, middle, and end.

Now this is the type of anthology that I need to contribute to! Or, wait, what's the proper grammar... this is the type of anthology in which I should contribute... no, wait, that's passive... I should contribute to this anthology. Perfect!

My daughter, the little traveler, was on 20 different flights before she was 14 months old. She was a dream, quiet, mellow...

But what happened to my quiet little one? She is not so quiet any more... she's in that 'almost 2' stage where it all must be picked up, thrown, tasted, yelled at, bitten, chewed, spit out and sung at.

I think my favourite thing right now is how she calls stars "uppas". You know, like "uppa bove the world so high...." She can see an uppa from a mile away too... we'll be calmly walking along and she'll scream "UPPA!!!" like All Must Stop Now and Behold The Uppa!

M used to say "slookit"... "Slookit that mama!"

I need to keep writing these things down before I forget them.

Cross-post: What happens after you get the contract

Over at Mama Needs A Book Contract!

And then? I'll have your babies.

As part of the regular spring ritual, I signed up the boychild for soccer and t-ball. He likes both. This will be year three of soccer (meaning he can actually run with his head up about half the time) and year two of t-ball. We're not 100% sold on t-ball but we had fun last year.

Every time we sign up there's the "where would you like to volunteer" section. The crafty little buggers don't ask IF you want to volunteer, but WHERE. So I usually choose something like communication or assistant-manager, figuring that I can step in somewhere if needed.

But this year I got an email from both t-ball and soccer mucky-mucks with the "hey, you volunteered to coach" line. Um. No I did not. Not even close. I cannot picture me and a toddler trying to coach anything while Major Man is still working nights.

(Which he won't be doing any more because he got THE JOB!! But I digress...)

So I kind of ignored those emails... and then the t-ball guy contacted me again. He was wondering if I'd could do the division coordinator position. I asked what the duties were.

Let me pause here to say: Never trust anyone who begins an answer with "Oh, it's just..."

The duties sounded simple enough, communicate stuff with coaches. Cool.

Then the email went out to all coaches and it soundes something like "and if you need this, email Heather. And if you need that, email Heather. And if you need a pink orangutan in a tutu with red nail polish, email Heather. And here's every phone number and email address she has. Amen."

Whaaa?

It's day one of 'coordinating' and I have already realized I need to take the t-ball schedule to and from work on a little memory stick so I can reference the games and practices when the coaches email me... sigh.

But the boychild is sure to have fun. I just have to remember that soccer and t-ball are fun, hopefully my head doesn't spin around when we're running ten minutes behind and the baby is tired and hungry and it's a little cold and it's been a long day and I just want to sleep...

Love Thursday is Enough

So many things to love this Thursday!

Grey's Anatomy is back! My week is complete!

Found out today that next week Hubby goes to pick up "pre-course material" from the job-that-isn't-yet-officially-his-yet-but-why-else-would-they-enroll-him-in-the-training-class-job.

The baby slept for six straight hours last night. She's finally getting over her sickness. No one puked last night either. Woot!

Granny is better. She's happy. She's awake. She's excited to still be here and I'm happy too.

I already love my new editor because she was awesome on the phone today. I think she's used to more... sensitive... writers, but she has me loving the editing process already. AND she said they were very happy with the photography I did! YAY! I can now justify the dollars I spent on camera equipment.

Desperate Housewives and LOST and ER and Grey's Anatomy and Brother's and Sisters were ALL NEW this week. It's like a trifecta, no a ... what's five? A quintecta. A pentatecta. Five perfect hours of TV watching where all I had to think about was "why does Christiana have 'intestines in hand!' and will Luka leave Abby? and who is the father and I can't believe Ben denied his daughter!"

My new credit card has a 1.9% balance transfer rate until October. Take that stupid mastercard that won't lower its interest rate.

There is almost nothing that can't be cured by LOLCats.

I have been going to the gym and feeling it - this is good. This is progress.

I have enough. Enough love. Enough time. Enough people. Enough.

My Glamorous Fashonista Life

Yep. That's right. it's glamorous all right... I thought you might like to see what I'm wearing around the house today:


Yes, those are Socks With Crocs. The First Great Mortal Fashion Sin. You'll notice I'm also committing Sin Number Two with rolled up pant legs because the pants are too long.

I need Tim Gunn, that's all I can say.

Update: They Called....

... to let him know that they couldn't get ahold of one of his references.

They are checking references! This is a good sign!

Woot! Woot!

Video Tuesday?

I've been surfing around today (because I'm at home, being puked upon and wiping snot and babies are entertained by videos) and I've found several videos I must share.

First one is from Joshilyn and it's pure heartwarming lovey for the human raceness really made my day. I dare you to watch it without being heartwarmed.



FYI, Joshilyn's new book is getting awesome reviews.

The second one made me giggle. It's from Dooce (Heather Armstrong) and seriously, if you can maintain a straight face all the way through (especially at 24 seconds in) then you must be dead inside:




So, does anyone have any videos to share?

Tips for living on a variable income

Wow, I can't believe I have survived financially without reading Gail Vaz-Oxlade's blog! She's the smarty mc smarterton behind "Til Debt Do Us Part".

Yesterday she offered this gem on her site:

Dealing with a Variable Income

Very important for those of us living on freelancing income. Now, you of course know that I have a Real Life Job, but I used to budget for a specific amount of freelance income and when I started writing fewer articles and focusing on books... the regular income dropped, but the spending level did not. Hence our new passion for being Frugal! and Clipping Coupons! and Sometimes Being Cheap!

Springtime in Alberta

So this is what springtime in Alberta is like. Earlier this week I was wearing a skirt and a tank top. M was learning to ride his bike without training wheels. We were kicking the ball around and you could smell the old grass as the afternoon sun baked it. This is why I haven't put the winter boots away yet!

Lookie!

Hey, I'm profiled (in a good way!) over at Maternal Spark. Check it out!

The Debt Countdown

Hubby and I have started the big climb out of debt. Well, not that big, but big enough. Posted on the back of our front door is the Big Honking Debt Number which, thankfully, is less than a yearly salary. ;0)

I'm gathering up tools to help me on this crusade to be debt-free and one of those tools is a blog by Gail Vaz-Oxlade. She's a Canadian finance guru and she could totally kick Suze Orman's butte. Or butt even. (I give up correcting my own spelling sometimes and figure laughing at my misspellings is much more fun.)

Have you ever taken a good hard look at your money and what you spend? I have. Just this week. Since I was handing over the financial reins to hubby I had to pull some knowledge out of my brain and on to paper so I could tell him things like regular withdrawls from the bank account, regular debits to the credit card... etc... But the problem is that it's stored up in random files in my brain.

The credit card statement came in and oh lookie there's a charge to The Biggest Loser Club because I'd forgotten to cancel my 'free except you have to give us your credit card but don't worry, you'll remember to cancel the free' web subscription.

And, oh my, I bought some music online. Luckily I could say it was for the kids (Crazy Frog) and not a the latest Britney Spears album or that Greatest Drum Corps Hits that I almost bought a couple weeks ago. (I iz band gek)

I think the best tool I found was Gail's Interactive Budget Workbook. Fill in all your expenses and it will tell you exactly how much over budget you are. She'll also give you some guidelines for where you should be.... what percentage of your income is going towards housing and what percentage is safe.

So the countdown is on. I think we can do it in about a year.

Of course.. that's if "PLAN #1" works out... more on that in... ten days. I promise. And if Plan #1 doesn't pan out.... we'll be moving on to Plan #2. (Which is not my favourite plan, let's just say that.) Wow, could I BE more cryptic?

Lonely Planet writer "supplements" income

Well, guess I won't be buying any Lonely Planet titles anytime soon!

The gist of the story is this: the guy said they didn't pay him enough so he didn't actually visit the countries he wrote the travel guides about and he supplemented his income by dealing drugs.

Nice.

But it gets better. Then he has the absolute gall to pitch his book:

Kohnstamm's book, "Do Travel Writers Go to Hell?: A Swashbuckling Tale of High Adventures, Questionable Ethics and Professional Hedonism," is set for release next week.

Uh, so if you have questionable ethics... why am I going to pay you more money? Because this time you're telling the truth. Thanks. I'll pass.

Thought for the Day

Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.
-- Irma Kurtz, Cosmopolitan Magazine, September 2003

This struck me as really profound this weekend. It's the weekend of the financial reckoning. The weekend where I hand the reins over to my husband.

Part of me feels very 1950s Housewifeish. I'm not the one in control. But part of me welcomes this change. Major Man isn't shutting me out of the budget decisions, he's just the one doing the footwork. Our budget is posted on the door, as is our current debt load.

It's been eyeopening. For me and for Major Man. I don't think he realized the situation or why I was freaking out two months ago because I knew that the day was coming where we'd run out of credit.

It's not THAT bad, please don't think we're a hundred grand it debt or anything. But we have a credit card, a line of credit, a truck loan and high rent. We're the working poor it seems.

But not for long. Because we are not IN debt, we are climbing out of it.

We may need to downside, we will need to make some tough decisions. I will need to keep my fingers OFF the credit card.

But we shall also be improving living conditions and we will be happier. My outlook has changed this weekend from "oh my gosh, how much longer can I do this" to "I can so do this" because now I'm looking at where I can cut the fat.

I'm even considering biking to work!

Love Thursday

Up at Joshilyn's blog there's a post with Rebecca Flowers who wrote Nice To Come Home To, her first novel. It's about love and, I suppose, the aftermath. I haven't read her book yet, but I intend to.

Anyhooo, for Love Thursday I'm going to talk about something that Rebecca Flowers said on Joshilyn's blog:

Hold out for true love. ‘Cause it’s just too hard to live with someone, under any other circumstance. And because yes, yes, YES!, it exists. It’s not what Lori Gottleib seems to think it is, however. True love is NOT the thing that gets you what you want out of life – a house, a baby, a family, perfect and unerring happiness. True love is the thing that complicates life, that makes it messy. And wonderful. And joyous. And profound. But will it get you what you’ve always wanted? Certainly not. Certainly, certainly not. It’s just like prayer, you know.

I so believe that. How could I not? I met my husband when I was 18 and I KNEW he was the one. Knew it in my marrow. He, unfortunately, didn't realize this. He was very career focused and a dedicated bachelor. But I knew.

We dated only briefly. He lived in Germany, I was in Austria... I moved back to Canada and he moved back to the US. We lost touch. In between I married and had a wonderful son. And got divorced.

My son was about two and a half when I started reading Diana Gabaldon's book, Outlander. Perhaps you've read it? Well I was head over heels in love with Jamie Fraser, her main male character. I stayed up until 3 am reading some mornings...

Suddenly, mid-passage I realized that the reason I loved Jamie Fraser was because he was the literary equivalent of Major Man. I knew I had to find him. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could either walk through or close that door. I knew he was the one.

So I stalked tracked him down and called him. It started off a little shaky. I called him twice in a week and got the definite "you're crowding me" vibe. Dedicated bachelor, remember? And I'm not exactly subtle.

We emailed for about a year before I called his bluff. Was he scared to see me, did he think that I was a crazy stalker? He called my bluff, saying that I could just as easily come and visit him in the US.

I booked a flight for the long weekend in September 2004. We married in September 2005.

It's been a rough few years, true love doesn't guarantee smooth sailing. Far from it. And we have made things extra difficult for ourselves by having a baby without waiting for his permanent resident card, getting in and out of debt, living in a city that's too expensive... But I can say, without any reservation, that he's still The One. He's still the rudder in my life, the one that can calm me with a touch the same way he used to calm our daughter. It was incredible, when she was still in the womb she'd start kicking and he'd put a hand on her and she'd stop instantly.

He's patient beyond belief. He'd have to be to live with me... I'm a control freak and most of the time he's waiting out some issue I've manufactured. (Where is the plastic thingy for the apple slicer, where the heck is it... it's supposed to be Right Here. Did you touch it? Did you move it? Did you see it? Why can't anything stay where it's supposed to?! Oh, here it is, uh, um, I think I left it there after getting an apple for M earlier. Okay... moving on...)

I think our rough patch is evening out though. We see where the waves are, we know the shallow pools and deep still waters. We know what we need to do to make this work. We can do it together now.

Happy Love Thursday!

Bears!

If this doesn't make you smile... you are dead inside.

Some questions...

I found this over at My Write Hand:

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Just enough on my plate to eat, just enough warmth to go without socks, just enough money to pay the bills, just enough love to fill my house.

What is your greatest fear? Losing my family.

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Sir Winston Churchill.

Which living person do you most admire? My children.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Deceit.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Deceit.

What is your greatest extravagance? Buying books.

What is your favorite journey? When I'm "leaving on a jet plane".

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Are you kidding? There are no virtues that have reached the level of overused. They should all be used more!

On what occasion do you lie? When my kids aren't ready for the truth.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My my face breaks out.

Which living person do you most despise? No one. "Let no man pull you low enough to hate him." -- Martin Luther King Jr.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "Like". I hate that word. "and she's all like, I hate that word..."

What is your greatest regret? I don't believe in regrets.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? My husband. For real.

Which talent would you most like to have? Singing!

What is your current state of mind? Scattered.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? That we followed the seven virtues more often.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Achieving the title of "mommy".

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? An angel.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? Me.

What is your most treasured possession? My health.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Absence of God.

Where would you like to live? With my family. Wherever that is.

What is your favorite occupation? Mother.

What is your most marked characteristic? My red hair... or my temper that goes with it.

What are the qualities you most like in a man? Honesty.

What are the qualities you most like in a woman? Proverbs 31:10

What do you most value in your friends? Kindness.

Who are your favorite writers? Joshilyn Jackson, Shirley Jump, Jodi Picoult, Maeve Binchy, Diana Gabaldon.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Jamie Fraser (by Gabaldon)

Who are your heroes in real life? Our men and women in the military.

What are your favorite names? Mommy and Daddy.

What is it that you most dislike? Noisy eaters.

How would you like to die? With advanced warning.

What is your motto? I can do it.

News Flash: Being a Writer has NEVER Paid Well

I'm not sure I can call this a rant or not, but here are my thoughts on writers and pay.

There are regular writers and there are highly paid writers. The difference between the two is simple: highly paid writers are highly paid somewhere else. They are the Donald Trumps who decide to write, the Madonnas who think "I can do that", the ex-wives of baseball players who have some really specific inside knowledge that no one else on the planet has.

99.999999654% of the rest of us are regular writers. But guess what? We are in great company because in our camp we have the Mark Twains, the Hans Christian Andersons, the Anton Checkovs, the apostles of the Bible.

I know that I should be advocating for More Pay For Writers! And I am. I always will believe that the better the writer, the more she should be paid. But that does not make "writing" a more valuable resource. That makes "good writing" more valuable.

The US Bureau of Labor Stats has something to say on being a writer:

How much does this job pay?

Half of all writers and authors earned between $31,720 and $62,930 a year in 2004. The lowest-paid 10 percent earned less than $23,330. The highest-paid 10 percent earned more than $91,260 a year. Earnings for technical writers were somewhat higher. Half of all editors earned between $33,130 and $58,850 a year in 2004. The lowest-paid 10 percent earned less than $25,780. The highest-paid 10 percent earned more than $80,020 a year.

But the part that got me thinking was this line:

A writer or editor must have a college degree.

And there's the rub. So not true. You do not have to be a college graduate to be a writer. And guess what, the jobs that require a college degree will always pay more.

To top it off:

There will be a lot of competition for writing and editing jobs. This is because so many people want to become writers or editors.

When the internet was born (or when Al Gore created it, whatevah) a whole new publishing world was born. Because basically, putting your words on the internet is publishing them. Suddenly information was published at light year speeds compared to before. It was suddenly possible to have a thought and have it published seconds later.

When Mark Twain had a thought it was a lot longer than that before someone else got to read it!

Back in Twain's days, homes were passed down through generations, people grew gardens, there were no credit cards, you could live on pennies a day. The issue of getting paid well for your writing was moot. You were a writer, that was it, you wrote, you got some money, you kept writing, you got some more money.

Twain worked as a printer's apprentice, a steamboat pilot, a miner and a soldier and married into money. He worked as a journalist but it was not for high pay. In fact being a steamboat pilot was the most lucrative job he ever had. He wrote because it was a job and it paid some bills.

And he's called the writer of the great American novel.

I hear many writers decrying the horrible pay in the publishing industry. And for good reason when you hear things like HarperCollins experimenting with new pay structures that pretty much suck onions for writers.

I hear writers who write for low pay referred to as "bottom feeders" and "hobbyists". These are comments generally come from people who write full-time and complain regularly about low-pay, lack of opportunity and the decline of the industry.

Yep.

Pay isn't rising. Never has. Probably never will. That's why I advise writers to do more than writing, develop yourself. Learn to edit. Write eBooks and market them. Teach others. Learn new writing skills.

Change. Adapt. Evolve. Survive.

Who says I don't believe in evolution?

Take my kids, please.

Major Man just started a new job. He's waiting to hear about another job and rather than sit around the house contemplating the difference between doing a load of whites, of colours or of not giving a crap and throwing it all in together.... he went out a got a between-the-time job.

Strangely enough he found one at the parent company of the company I work for. It's a few steps below what he's acutally qualified to do (since that was 'being a leader' and now he's 'moving boxes around') but he doesn't care because it's SOMETHING.

It's also a job that starts at 3:00 pm and goes to 11:30 pm. Which means I'm all by my lonesome with the kids in the evenings now. No more "can you put the baby in the tub while I clean up?" or "can you read the stories and I'll rock the baby?"

Just me. Kind of like single motherhood again. Fun.

Tonight my mom took the kids for about an hour and a half and at first I was all "yes, take them, please!" but then after I ran to the drug store and picked up the baby's prescription... I kind of missed them. I wanted them back.

Weird.

Dear Family and Friends: This is how you know I love you....

(It's Love Thursday...)

If I feel you're upset and I ask what's wrong - it's because I care.

If I make an assumption it will be that you are doing the best you can with the best intentions, because I care about you.

If I'm upset with something you've said or done, I'll address it right away rather than let it fester inside me. This is because I value our relationship.

If I hear that you said something against me, I won't believe it until I ask you and look into your eyes.

I will apologize if I feel I am wrong because I care. If I don't think I'm wrong I'll still apologize for the situation and for your hurt.

Been singing since Sunday...

Owie.

Posting will return shortly. I've sprained my wrist somehow and typing hurts!!

Market: Best Health Mag

Reader's Digest launches new healthy lifestyle magazine for Canadian women

Best Health puts well-being in the spotlight

TORONTO, March 25 /CNW/ - Reader's Digest Magazines (Canada) Ltd., Canada's most trusted publisher, is proud to announce the launch of Best Health, a healthy lifestyle publication geared to today's savvy Canadian woman. This new magazine, which makes its debut on newsstands across Canada this week, is designed to feel like a day at the spa, not a trip to the
clinic. Best Health is supported by its online counterpart Best Health Mag which offers regularly updated healthy living advice at the touch of a fingertip.

Day Care Cam

I can't watch this from work, but because I'm working from home today, I can watch my daughter having fun at day care:

They are playing at the water table, E has her back to the camera and is wearing a white smock to keep dry. The lady sitting next to her is the teacher in charge of the room.

She's the sweetest little lady, only about four-foot-nuthin' and E quite likes her.

E has so much fun at day care that even though I'm home working today, I didn't keep her at home. She saw her dad getting his jacket on and she ran to her jacket saying "on? on? on?" and then as soon as she got her jacket on she grabbed her stuffie and waved at me, saying "bye!", then proceeded to knock on the door so we'd let her out.

Yeah, day care is horrible for children. I'm such a mean parent for subjecting her to institutionalized day care. And even worse, a 'big box' day care like this one.

It's done horrible things to her like send her home singing and dancing and learning to share. What was I thinking?

/sarcasm

You know, if at some point I did find myself working from home, I think I'd still send my daughter to day care in the mornings. I get a lot of work done and she has FUN!!

News from the crazies...

Ok Demi Moore.

I don't care how nice you look or how healthy you are.

NO LEECHES ARE GOING NEAR MY BELLY BUTTON.

When I'm feeling judgy

Have you ever had a moment when you are just feeling judgy? You know, when you just want to smack someone or your eyes are rolling so far back in your head that if the wind changes they'll stay that way?

Today was one of those days.

We went to the zoo. (Note, brother carrying his sister's coat and sister saying "get me out of this flippin' contraption, there are animals to squeal at!!)

We did have fun, we had a lot of fun. The kids wore themselves out and they both love the zoo now. M was never a zoo kid, but in the last year he's started to love it. E is a total zoo kid because there are Animals! With fur! And they are cute! Her favourite is the warthog, I swear. She goes nuts when she sees him.

It would have been perfect if it weren't for ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE. I don't mind the kids running around, it's just some of those parents. The lady yelling at her son because he wasn't pushing the stroller right ("you just about ran into that lady!") who five minutes later nearly ran over E with her crazy stroller-pushing-while-dragging-kid maneuvers.

I did feel bad for the one mother who was trying to jam her stroller up a hill and thought she was ramming it over a bump, until she realized that the reason it wouldn't go forward was her child's leg was caught against a fence. Yeah, that sucked for her, I did feel bad.

And the people who STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD or, in the middle of an exhibit without pulling over to the side. What is with that? You are not the only person in the zoo today.

But the zoo was fun for the kids. It was a bit chilly off and on, about 6 degrees celsius. Even I needed a nap when I came home.

But the judgy feeling was still there.

I was watching a show, one of those reality shows where contestants try to lose weight. (It's called X-Weighted, I tried out for it once, but was rejected because there wasn't enough conflict in my life!) This woman is stressing about going back to work after her maternity leave (which in Canada is one year).

She's crying and saying "I don't know how people do it! I don't want to leave my baby!" Which translates to me as "all you other women must be heartless". Which, let's face it, probably wasn't what she meant.

But my inner judge said "suck it up princess".

Which I find really sad! I find it sad that when I'm in uber-PMS, judgy mode because it means that my capacity to love anything and anyone is compromised. And my capacity to receive love is compromised.

So this is what I do:

I clear my mind and pray, asking that the spirit of strife leave me.

I imagine the person I'm judging is sitting in a room with me and it's just them and me... then I try to imagine the words I'm thinking actually coming out of my mouth. I imagine what their face would look like if they heard those words.

I ask forgiveness in my heart for thinking those things. (There but by the grace of God go I.)

I receive the forgiveness (crucial step!!) and I move on.

It can be hard to stop being judgy. I think I mentioned earlier that I was diagnosed with Premenstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD a few months ago. I take a daily dose of vitamins. Or, rather, I am supposed to. But sometimes I forget. Luckily I have a job that has the side benefit of just enough stress to remind me each day to take my Happy Pills.

But more than a physical reason, being judgmental (well, I call it judgy because it sounds nicer!) can be a habit. And I don't want it to be MY habit any more. The first step is stopping the words from coming out of my mouth. The second step is stopping them from forming in my brain.

I'm a work in progress.

YES! This IS what it's like!

From Dooce, who just handed in her book to her editor:

Last night I emailed my finished manuscript to my editor in New York, and then I drove downtown, took off all my clothes and ran naked through Temple Square. There was no other appropriate response. Except maybe I should have taped some sparklers to my boobs. [making mental note for future instances of streaking]

I'm not sure what I want to do with the next hour of my life, or even the next ten minutes. I COULD DO ANYTHING. I mean, this whole process started three years ago, and it got really intense a year ago when the deadlines were written in ink on a contract, and since then every single minute of my life has been heavy with the thought of those deadlines. I felt guilty if I took five minutes to read a magazine because I should have been using those five minutes to write my book. I felt like I was walking around with a 500-pound llama sitting on my face, and it hadn't bathed in several weeks.

Yes. A thousand times yes.

New book: Conflict-free Living

I've just started a new book. Conflict-Free Living by Joyce Meyer.

I know, family and friends, brace yourselves...... I am sometimes involved in conflict. But lately I have been calming down. So calm in fact that some of my co-workers have asked what's wrong with me when my righteous indignation doesn't kick in when they expect it to. It's like my own personal overdrive... when things get too tough, I get gritty.

Well, it doesn't work so much for me any more. I feel that I'm called to be peaceful. Shocking, I know.

What I like most about Meyer's book so far is her honesty. Can't have a good Christian self-help book without a hefty dose of honesty. We want to know that the writer knows of what she writes.

Which gets me to thinking... what is my story? What story can I tell? Is it a story of overcoming? Of resuce? Of pain or of joy?

What is your story?

No matter what we think our story is, what matters is what we choose to write right now. Whether or not you are a writer, you are writing your story each day. Every moment is a sentence and a string of them make a paragraph. Every morning a page, every evening the end of a chapter.

What do you choose to write in your book today?

A Free Day

It was a day of freedom today... no children around, no husband.... just me in my house for almost seven hours straight.

So, what did I do?

If you voted "cleaned the house" then you'd be right. I don't know why, but I felt the uncontrollable urge to clean. I even cleaned the fridge, which now looks sad and empty now that all the old food is gone. I am amazed at the old food you can have in your fridge without realizing it. That tub of margarine is really a bunch of week old rice and that neatly folded bag is actually a half block of cheese that I forgot about, hidden behind the mustard.

Jeez, I hope I'm not the only one whose fridge looks like that!

I could have been writing, this I know. I could have gotten several thousand words down. But you know, you can only let a house go so far before you start to despise being in it.

**

Major Man had a Very Important Interview on Friday. This could be a life changing one. This could be The One.

Originally there were 500 applications. They weeded them down to 50 and gave those people aptitude testing. They are waiting on the results, but in the mean time they went through the interview process. There are 14 positions available in the training class and five spare spots. The spares get a guaranteed spot in the next training class. It seems like pretty good odds.

I'd lvoe for him to get it. Love, love, love. And not just because I could gloat and crow about how *I* found the job in the paper and *I* bugged him for a full day saying "have you sent your resume in? This is SO YOU." Because it is simply made for him, it's an awesome job. It's the kind of job he will thrive in.

It's late now, and I need to go read a little bit more of Ms Jackson's newest novel!

Love Thursday

There's this Love Thursday thing that I learned from Mir. I've always seemed to miss it, but here I find myself on Thursday with a few minutes to kill before LOST starts and I zone out and let my inner couch potato out for... a sit on her arse.

I'll start off my first Love Thursday with an easy one. I love my kids. And I really love my kids together. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my brother when I was growing up, and it's been a goal of mine to raise my kids to trust and depend on one another. To appreciate each other and look out for each other.

I've told M every day that this is HIS sister. She is his. And when E grows up, I'll be sure to tell her that he is HER brother. They aren't adversaries (yet...), they don't need to compete, they are each unique and I want them to know that about themselves and about each other. But there may come a day when they only have each other. When other family members have fallen away and they are the keepers of each others' memory.

M is very protective of his sister. When she was just a peanut he'd hover around her bath and say "keep a hold of her mommy", "don't let her head go under mommy", or he'd make faces at her and then laugh hysterically when she giggled back at him.

I can remember him cupping his hands and yelling into my belly "Hellloooo baybeeeee!". I can remember him pressing his ear to my belly and E kicking him in the side of the head. I remember being in labour with E and looking up to see M sitting at the foot of my bed, right beside the midwife, watching his sister being born.

This is why I wanted children, to see love grow and grow and become something real that they could put their trust in and know it would be safe.

One more time. Nice and Slow

I'm going to type nice and slow so that the people who don't get it might finally understand.

As writers, we MUST respect the copyright of other writers.

That means:

1) No posting articles anywhere in any forum, online anywhere, photocopied for your whole class to read, or used in any public forum at all. Yes, that even includes Yahoo Groups.


2) Just because the article is helpful and good and inspiring and wonderful... doesn't mean you get to give it away for free without the RIGHT to do so. Only the author has that right. (Oh and by the way, just because you like a picture doesn't give you the right to repost it either... go find a free photo site... see that pic up above? Free photo site.)


3) All those wonderful stories that you forward on, beautiful poems and essays.. they were actually written by someone. Take the time to either ensure that you have the RIGHT to forward it on or that the author has allowed it to be forwarded at will by people who can't come up with something that briliant. Oh and pegging "anonymous" on the end does not absolve you of the responsibility of respecting another writer's copyright. I can forgive Uncle Larry and Sister Sue and Papa Fred for forwarding something on... they aren't writers. It's like if you hear of someone forging cheques... how much WORSE is it if that person also works at a bank? (Now, forwarding jokes is another matter... see below... but you have to ask yourself, is this a funny essay that someone deserves payment for, or is this a joke. Here's the test: can you memorize it and retell it at the water cooler? No? Then it's an essay.)


4) Learn the proper definition of PUBLIC DOMAIN. It does not mean "out there in the world". It means "Material that is uncopyrighted, whose copyright has expired, or is uncopyrightable" this includes government publications, many jokes. Here's a refresher for you.


5) Know the different between copyright and assigning rights. When you create a work, you always have the copyright, UNLESS you are an employee and creating that work for your employer. If you are not an employee, then the copyright is yours to ASSIGN THE RIGHT TO COPY. That's where we get into first rights, all rights (which isn't giving away your copyright, you've just given them the right to do what they want with the work, but the copyright is still yours... think of it this way: You own the cow, but you've sold all the milk), web rights, archive rights... and while we're at it... that copyright only passes to the purchaser (the publication) when they PAY YOU.


6) Plaigiarism = BAD WRITER. It is defined as taking anything that you didn't write YOURSELF and claiming that you did write it.


Ok. I'm done my rant. I was just set off once again today by seeing yet another writer copy and paste an entire article in an email and send it to a list of writers.

WTH People?!?!